Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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A handy vacuum source; when Heimlich is busy
  (+9, -3)
(+9, -3)
  [vote for,

Take an oxygen mask and attach it to a very strong mini vacuum. This thermos sized vacuum (or can-of-vacuum) will "suck" in split second bursts 4 or 5 times with each pull of the trigger. So, should you have a half-chewed hotdog lodged in your larynx, and no one is around, grab the Unchokerator from next to the fire extinguisher, get a good seal around your mouth and pull the trigger. Four WOOEMPHs later and the blocked bolus is a bygone.

Warning: may dislodge fillings, tongue piercings, taste buds and uvulas.

macncheesy, Jul 31 2007

<cough> quuch-quuch-qchk-qchk_20aid
[po, Jul 31 2007]

Throat-E-Vac http://cgi.ebay.it/...67589QQcmdZViewItem
A now obsolete device of this type, that is still being sold abroad. Or for use on animals. Superceded by the Heimlich, it turns out. (And you can give yourself a Heimlich, theoretically.) [DrCurry, Jul 31 2007]


       Not to mention imploding your eardrums ... but I like it anyway. A Harsh but Effective bun for you today.
batou, Jul 31 2007

       + it seems like a good idea...
xandram, Jul 31 2007

       Not at all sure this would work. You might just get a machine-ful of tongue.
DrCurry, Jul 31 2007

       Just don't get mixed up in the hurry and grab the fire extinguisher.
J1, Jul 31 2007

       The idea sounds like I won't survive trying it out in the store.
J1, Jul 31 2007

       If anyone ever really does figure out the anti-choking machine, it'll be huge.   

       I'm not sure a face-sucker or automatic stomach-puncher is it, though. Maybe some kind of robotic, prehensile tendril that snakes down your throat and removes lodged food (and 1 time out of 100, your lungs).
partdavid, Jul 31 2007

       These things are essentially Baked (see link). Just search on "anti-choking device," and ignore the stuff about cars.   

       So, um, it seems I was wrong.
DrCurry, Jul 31 2007

       I fear this might also double as a "marital aid."
ye_river_xiv, Aug 01 2007

       When I was a *small* child (about 40 years ago) I choked on a hard sweetie at school. My teacher threw me to the ground, picked me up by the ankles, and thumped my back while holding me upside down.   

       The candy popped straight out. A technique you might want to commit to memory if you ever see a child choking. I can imagine it would be rather difficult to perform on an adult...   

       I can still remember *very clearly* what it was like not to be able to breathe when you really really need to. It's *far* worse than holding your breath, or even accidentally opening your mouth underwater.
gtoal, Aug 02 2007

       /picked me up by the ankles, and thumped my back while holding me upside down./   

       Did the teacher thump you while holding your ankles? I'm visualising either impressively big hands, or impressively skinny ankles. Alternatively I guess the teacher could have just worked your back with a knee.
Texticle, Aug 02 2007

       This is starting to sound like a medical version of the Kamasutra. (Hm, do you think that book would sell?)
jutta, Aug 02 2007

       I had to teach my mother the Heimlich manuver while I had a chunk of blueberry pie in my throat. Fortunately, Mom was a *very* quick study. And [gtoal] - I agree. Absolutely unforgettable sensation.
lurch, Aug 02 2007

       The Heimlich works by pushing the blockage out, I think sucking would just collapse the windpipe.   

       What's needed is a trained Python.
marklar, Aug 02 2007


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