Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Urinal Horn

Urinal horn destroys the evil urinal gremlin called "Splashback"
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Have you ever taken a leak at those shorty public urinals that force you to stand so close to them? Have you ever had anything splash back at you? Why do you think it's an acceptable urinal design if urine is splashing on you? Why don't they just make freakin' splash-around-in urinals if they're going for poor design?

Anyway, the idea is to change the design of a urinal from a little splashy ceramic wall on which you pee into a gently tapering and curving horn (like a bent version of the horn on an old RCA turntable, the horn of a trumpet, or like a really big trumpet flower). There are no hard angles for the urine, as you'll be peeing down the axis of the opening and every splash takes the urine farther down the horn rather than back at you. Its big opening tapers to a much smaller basin...but it's so far down, the basin water never splashes up, either! Even if it *did* splash inside, since the horn is gently curved it splashes on the inside of the horn and is quickly dispersed.

I've always wondered why they don't make these. If you were outside and had to pee, would you go stand three inches away from a wall and pee? I sure as hell wouldn't.

Don't forget: when the urinal companies finally smarten up and start making the urinal horns, reference this URL (i wish they dated these) so you can stop their patent as prior work.

cameron, Oct 23 2001

Urinal Dot Net http://www.urinal.net
Loads of pictures of urinals of all shapes and sizes. [pottedstu, Oct 23 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]


       Baked. Pretty much exactly as you describe (although a web search for a picture has defeated me). I think the reason they're not so widespread is that they're more expensive to manufacture.
Lemon, Oct 23 2001

       Yeah, sure they're much cleaner. Until someone starts blowing through the other end. Pffthhtththth-toot!
pottedstu, Oct 23 2001

       Kinda makes you wonder if women are designing these things...
phoenix, Oct 23 2001

       Sorry, if women were desinging these things we would never have expected you to pee in front of others, that's why we don't. It must have been a bloke desinger and they thought - wheee (excuse the pun) that saves lots of money on the Gents. I can never understand why men have to pee in front of others. Why!. You would be better off going outside and peeing up against a car/wall/or anywhere than in a urinal!! Why can't you go in the cubicals like women. I wouldn't dream of going in front of lots of other women at a watery canal of smelly stuff. Wee (sorry) 'd just say NO
arora, Oct 27 2001

       Speak for yourself, arora
bristolz, Oct 28 2001

       So you like to pee in front of others, bristolz?
StarChaser, Oct 28 2001

       I'm sure urinals must be due for a make-over by now. I have been in a few - purely by mistake - and they seem nothing short of smelly hell holes. I have 3 males in my house and would'nt dream of installing a urinal in the bathroom.
arora, Oct 28 2001

       I can't figure out why some have fishboned this. Who would *want* a urinal that splashes on them?
cameron, Oct 29 2001

       Sorry, [UnaB], but in the 2 days she's been here I've seen nothing in [arora]'s writing to indicate a 'puritanical, sexually repressed upbringing'. I would respectfully suggest that you put a :-) on the end of that post.
angel, Oct 29 2001

       Happy 2nd Birthday (last Wednesday), StarChaser.
hippo, Oct 29 2001

       I've peed in one of those RCA turntable horns. And let me tell you, it's no walk in the park. Besides, how would one clean the thing? You would then have to invent a urinal horn rotating swirly brush. And as in the examples (RCA turntable horn, trumpet horn, and those horns that cheerleaders use), the cone shape would funnel the sound waves and amplify it. Sounds of flushing would constantly be echoing throughout the building. -- Have to predict those engineering glitches, before you spend loads of cash on R&D...
Bastard, Oct 29 2001

       Hippo: Huh? <rummage> Bedarned, it is, isn't it? Thanks...   

       Bastard: Why, exactly, were you peeing in a turntable horn? Or is that where your name came from? <grin>   

       Peter <heh> Dunno why it is...Americans are somewhat more puritanical about things like that, for some reason.
StarChaser, Oct 30 2001

       Bastard - you make some good points - i had thought of them already but considered them minor. A little applied engineering and i'm sure they can all be solved to your satisfaction. :-)
cameron, Oct 30 2001

       Would that turntable horn amplify the sound from disc or cylinder? If it's cylinder is it a long cylindrical object with two spheres underneath?? No wonder no one has recorded the sound of urination until the development of electrical recording. Speaking of puritanical, I wonder how many Puritans have gone through life without ever hearing the sound of urination. How about a urinal that will press a flexible 78 of the sound that you made while urinating? Then you won't have to pee down the horn of the crap-o-phone.
Amishman35, Jan 05 2002

       Among the top ten all time urinals is one of these designs, with a grand view from a hill overlooking... Kabul.   


       I must say they don't look all that expensive to manufacture.
wabisabi, May 07 2005


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