Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Expensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.

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Use Secondary (or Tertiary) Metaphors

A double jump to create a more entertaining adjectival approach
  [vote for,

Having got tired of the usual cliche metaphors, my brother and I took to using second order references to the same. For example:

Talking at angry dolphins

"Where's my hat?"
"Don't know, you must have left it somewhere"
"Yeah, I big hairy elephant"
(Think about it....)

And there you go - Robert is indeed your father's brother!


One can also employ foreign languages to increase the emphasis: les genoux de l'abeille, der biernkniern or les boules de chien sound much better than the english alternative.

Finally combine the two for poetic phrase such as:
"Voila! Robert est le frere de ton pere!"

Employing such phrases will lighten up your business meetings no end, and will also help to point out who is sharp and who isn't.

P.S. If you don't get the first two, asnwers to follow...

goff, Jul 15 2004


       thinking...oh--you must be British.
yabba do yabba dabba, Jul 15 2004

       I'm British, and i'm also confused!
MikeOliver, Jul 15 2004

       me too ... not the faintest idea what goff's talking about.
jonthegeologist, Jul 15 2004

       I'm a moth?
Detly, Jul 15 2004

lostdog, Jul 15 2004

       Donnez-moi une fracture.
waugsqueke, Jul 15 2004

       If I'm the only person who has heard the phrase "Pretentious? Moi?" this should not be [m-f-d]: widely known to exist. Otherwise, otherwise, one would suggest.
angel, Jul 15 2004

       What a big collection of testicles.
Ling, Jul 15 2004

       The boys in Sydney use a particularly peculiar version of old rhyming slang, wherein the meaning is sometimes dislocated an extra level. As in:   

       "Lunch? I could use a nazi spy and some Granville '68, mate."   

       Nazi spy = cold meat pie.   

       Tomato ketchup is locally known as train smash, and there was a spectacularly messy one in the suburb of Granville in '68.
phlogiston, Jul 15 2004

       sp: answers   

       You're too clever for your own good, [goff]. You can get kicked off the site for that kind of behavior...
k_sra, Jul 15 2004

       >big hairy elephant   

       Mammoth? (e.g. ~11,050' mountain, 3370m) snow covered peak. Maybe the hat's on a bald or white haired cranium.   

       >I'm a moth   

       In m' mouth? mumble, mumble...
csea, Jul 15 2004

       Isn't this the programming for the UnaBubbabot?   

       I cornfuse people enough already.
RayfordSteele, Jul 15 2004

       it's all so clear now. Can't imagine why I didn't get it straight away.
jonthegeologist, Jul 16 2004

       Hmm. There seem to be enough people on here already confused by straightforward English without adding convoluted puns. Look at the stuff on pop up subtitles for just the English/American divide - what will happen with all the HBers who don't use English as a first language? (The ones that speak fluent Gibberish already should be OK).
unclepete, Jul 16 2004

       Robert was my uncle... now he's my aunt. anyone got the number for Jerry Springer?
etherman, Jul 16 2004

       Terry Springer.
skinflaps, Jul 16 2004

       Hey goff, I got one for ya:   

       Life's a bitch--
May I have another?
Yeah, I rap when you're not permitted.
yabba do yabba dabba, Jul 16 2004

       cross porpoises Mastadon Yeah, daft, but entertains me anyway...
goff, Jul 19 2004


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