Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Vending machine vending machine

Grand opening today!
  (+14, -2)(+14, -2)
(+14, -2)
  [vote for,

For twenty years, Wagster Vending has been the premier supplier of vending and dispensing machines in the UK. To celebrate our twentieth year in business we are streamlining our operation to make it easier for you, our customer, to purchase the vending solution of your choice.

When you visit our sales office there will no longer be the usual trek around the huge sales floor to examine all the choice on offer, just leaf through our catalogue in the reception lounge and decide which solution is right for you. If you have any questions, just speak to our sales advisor Imelda Candy who is fully trained in all aspects of vending. When you have made your decision, Miss Candy will debit your card and provide a token for the appropriate amount (warning, tokens are four foot high and weigh 129kg - best to bring a friend).

You can then roll the token out of the front entrance and onto a waiting hydraulic access platform which will lift you up to the seventh floor where the slot is located. Once you have rolled the token into the slot and checked that the correct amount is displayed on the screen (you may need to step back - digits are over five foot high), then key in your selection using the keypad (you may require the giant foam finger, you will find it attached to the platform railing) and return to the ground.

After a brief wait your new vending machine will be automatically delivered to the goods out bay where the shutter will rise once the machine is in place. If there is a problem with your purchase, just call the big number printed on the side of the building (we regret that Miss Candy is unable to deal with any complaints) - do NOT attempt to tip the building or the alarm will be activated.

We hope you will enjoy shopping at Wagster Vending.

wagster, Aug 31 2005

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       Do you have a token for a pub vending machine?
skinflaps, Aug 31 2005

       Do you want to buy one or put it in one?
wagster, Aug 31 2005

       I want one that vends pubs of my choice.
skinflaps, Aug 31 2005

       Pub vending machines are physically rather large and as a result are only stocked by our mega vending machine in Brent Cross which is over two miles high and was designed by [vernon].
wagster, Aug 31 2005

       That was the other day, today I want a vending machine that vends fish.
skinflaps, Sep 02 2005

       Hmmmm....I normally don't bun recursive ideas but this is a nicely written one. [+] for you [wags], you old dog.
DocBrown, Sep 02 2005

       Could you design one in the approximate shape of the Mandelbrot set?
RayfordSteele, Sep 02 2005

       [skin] - Today only we're doing 50% off a noseplug vending machine with every fish vending machine.
wagster, Sep 02 2005

       Baked. They have these in Russia.
Jinbish, Sep 02 2005

       It's turtles all the way down.
wagster, Sep 02 2005

       Do you have a machine from which I can purchase one of these devices?
zen_tom, Sep 02 2005

       The title is enough, and I'm not even going to read the text [+]. Does it sell vending machine vending machines?
swimswim, Jun 04 2010

       //Does it sell vending machine vending machines?//
If it does, I suspect the price would be computed by summing a non-convergent series.
[+], by the way. I'm a sucker for a good recursion joke.
mouseposture, Jun 05 2010


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