Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Warmest Mittens

Distribute the warmth
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So I've noticed that when it comes to cold hands you cant get much warmer than your pockets - because they are close to the part of your body that nature has spent a long time making sure is kept warm by the available energy. I cant wear gloves because my fingers get colder than they would be without gloves. Even regular mittens - my hands do not put off enough heat to warm themselves. All of my energy seems to be concentrated on the task of keeping my future family safe. But here's the thing, I am not going to have a family, willingly, so I am thinking it is about time to redistribute the warmth and have a pair of mittens that has tubes that are connected to the crotch of your pants.
JesusHChrist, Feb 07 2009

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       where are your pockets exactly? oh I see, mine are sort of in the hip region...   

       I think you have this creating babies thing all wrong.
po, Feb 07 2009
  

       Just as well since he doesn't want any.
phoenix, Feb 07 2009
  

       I think what is really needed is very very deep pockets.
po, Feb 07 2009
  

       //connected to the crotch//   

       I suppose you're talking about conduction rather than convection or radiation, so you'd want very conductive cables lagged in something very un-conductive, and all light and flexible enough not to get in the way or do you an injury.   

       I'm no physicist, but I think that, other things being equal, rigid things conduct heat better than flexible things (so that vibrations pass straight through them, rather than being 'soaked up' at the flexing points).   

       If that's right, then maybe tubes are a mistake.   

       Maybe you should go for a tailored cold steel jockstrap-cum-bellyplate, (all in one piece for maximum conductivity). Once it had warmed up, you could then slip your hands into those jacket pockets that have vertical slits, and place them (with or without pocket-liners) on to the warmed plate. You would tuck in your vest (US singlet) under the plate, and maybe your shirt, too, but the plate would stay inside your jacket (and maybe a specially-slitted sweater) so as not to waste dearly-bought bollock-heat to the atmosphere.   

       This solution would have the added benefit of providing protection against certain ungentlemanly kicks.
pertinax, Feb 08 2009
  

       Why assume conduction over convection? The use of the word "tube" suggests a working fluid. Water-filled rubber hose should do the trick. If there's a return loop (ie two tubes to each hand) and the hands are kept higher than the crotch, a thermosyphon would result.   

       Unfortunately, this invention sounds like a great way of inducing faster hypothermia. You're defeating all those layers of insulation that are keeping not only your wriggly half-children toasty, but keeping your own core temperature at life-sustaining levels.   

       If your hands are cold, it's because your body is (rather wisely) using it's own set of temperature regulating tubes to keeping your blood close to home.   

       I suggest upgrading the insulation around your arms.
BunsenHoneydew, Feb 08 2009
  

       You may be right about the return loop, [BunsenHoneydew], but I find my mental picture of it rather unconvincing. Maybe I'm just used to seeing convection working in a single space, rather than two separate spaces. Wouldn't the warm fluid push rather half-heartedly up both tubes, rather than respect the intended direction of flow?
pertinax, Feb 08 2009
  

       Some stop valves might get that convection to respect the design plan a little better, but I doubt any highly spectacular motion.
ye_river_xiv, Feb 08 2009
  
      
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