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Wedding Tooth

For this marriage I (me!) bled
  (+13, -4)(+13, -4)
(+13, -4)
  [vote for,

I was having dinner with some newlywed friends and they were playing with and cooing over their rings in a cutesy poo fashion. I started to think about how I'd probably not want to wear a wedding ring being frequently dirty, always clumsy and way too carelessly active to avoid damaging the thing.

The wedding tooth would be more suited to me being difficult to lose, hard to damage and with a number of other advantages besides.

The pain of having a tooth removed could act as a notional indication of your commitment to the marriage. Provided that an easily visible tooth is replaced with the wedding tooth (and it'd better be, considering the message an alternative choice would convey to the opposite number) those tempted towards infidelity would be undone with their first smile. Golddiggers would be similarly easy to identify by their gleaming grins.

Wedding teeth come in a variety of different styles and materials. Those with a high pain threshhold and a hankering to do things properly can swap their teeth as the anniversaries mount up, progressing from wood (the first practical material for a tooth) for the first 5 years, to iron, copper, bronze etc. The logical conclusion will be centenarians sporting gleaming diamond teeth celebrating their 75 years of marriage in an ostentatiously gangster/crunked out style. Wedding fangs available for the gothically inclined.

My wedding tooth would feature custom stencilling with a little stick person couple enjoying a hug, but also a saw edge to ensure that my appearance would be marginally more piratical.
DocBrown, Sep 12 2005


       I would like a glass tooth, internally lit by a small blue led concealed within the gum. This would be powered by any one of the absurd miniature heat/movement/magic based power sources that abound here.
wagster, Sep 12 2005

       how odd
dentworth, Sep 12 2005

       Would that be [wagster]'s desire for a blue tooth <groan> or the idea in general [dent]?
DocBrown, Sep 12 2005

       That was an unintentional and poor pun. I am tempted to change blue to red or green, but that would look nasty.
wagster, Sep 12 2005

       the whole idea, Doc. Mere Words just fail me.   

       having had time to chew this over a bit, however, I find this is an idea with some teeth in it.
dentworth, Sep 12 2005

       "Wow, three carots - he must be loaded."
"Yef, I'n veey lucky."
Worldgineer, Sep 12 2005

       At least it might be better than a ranch tooth.
bristolz, Sep 12 2005

       Is it safe?
calum, Sep 12 2005

       Other than tongue spinters, I don't see why not.
Worldgineer, Sep 12 2005

       Forgive my ignorance [bris], but what is a ranch tooth? The only picture I can find is of a man sitting on the bonnet (hood) of his car with what looks like some sort of anthropomorphic molar wearing a stetson and grinning at him.

All wedding teeth are coated with non-toxic veneer to try and guard against splinters [calum].
DocBrown, Sep 12 2005

       That'd be it.
bristolz, Sep 12 2005

       I see. Well, I think wedding teeth would be better than that!
DocBrown, Sep 12 2005

       I like the idea of wedding teeth although I would probably opt for a diamond set into my real tooth instead of replacing the tooth altogether. Every milestone anniversary I would add a diamond to another tooth. Wow, that would really be a sparkling smile, wouldn't it?
Machiavelli, Sep 12 2005

       That would be great in a perfect world but understand that there are married people who cheat with other married people as assurance that neither will tell about the affair. The wedding tooth, even though a great idea and it gets my vote, will only make infidelity easier in my opinion.
Jscotty, Sep 12 2005

       Hey [JScotty], I think you're correct that wedding teeth wouldn't help to prevent an infidelity in which both partners were complicit. I do think they would make it harder for a married person to pretend that they weren't married, since teeth aren't removable unlike rings, but obviously in the case of two marrieds they'd keep rings/teeth in.

Any measure which would provide a reasonable degree of assurance against infidelity would probably impact on freedom of choice and if people are remaining in a marriage against their will, it's probably not going to be a happy union for either partner, to say nothing of the fact that such measures really shouldn't be necessary at all!
DocBrown, Sep 13 2005

       I imagine a devoted, toothless bride presenting her fiance with a set of diamond encrusted dentures.
"I wub you tho mush, Honey"
Ling, Sep 13 2005

       // playing with and cooing over their rings in a cutesy poo fashion\\ This I would not like to see with your wedding tooth but they will. Bone for this one.
zeno, Sep 13 2005

       You could get a custom wedding crown with your honey's name in tiny diamonds. BLING!
bungston, Sep 13 2005


       In reference to your last paragraph, I have seen those *stick figures* do more than hug!
xandram, Feb 24 2008


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