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Whale-scented candles

 
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Whilst listening to a friend blather on about her OCD (a mild form luckily) I thought of whale scented candles.

General advice on OCD, (which is like OCR, but without the tassels) is to go relax, whale music and scented candles etc.

So, why not combine the two and make whale-scented candles? Killing two birds with one stone in allowing human relaxation whilst freeing our oceans from these pesky buggers eating our food.

Simply harpoon the lot of them, boil 'em down and make candles from the fat, so providing 100% natural, organic whale-scented wossernames.

As for the song, that can be done by an mp3 player at the base of the candle, powered by a peltier thingy near the wick, or by applying a stethoscope to your own abdomen when you've skipped a meal.

NB You could achieve this all with minimal effort by simply strapping cats onto whales and let the Borg sort it out once and for all.

not_morrison_rm, Jul 14 2015

Wales scented candles http://giftwarewale...tions/welsh-candles
Close! [pocmloc, Jul 15 2015]

[link]






       Pesky whales, coming over here, eating all our string. [+]
zen_tom, Jul 14 2015
  

       I understand the fat is liquid at room temperature, hence its traditional use in oil lamps, not candles.
pocmloc, Jul 14 2015
  

       This is not good. Funny but not good for the whales. As a daily candle user I applaud the concept, but cringe at the actual creation. Ommm...
blissmiss, Jul 14 2015
  

       I believe a lot of scents are (or were) "whale scented", as ambergris is a thing. It doesn't actually involve killing the whales, however.
MechE, Jul 14 2015
  

       It's probably more humane to kill one whale for 5000kg of whale fat than it is to press a billion bees for the same amount of beeswax.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 14 2015
  

       I'm trying to convince my friend that her obsession with her ADD is OCD.
FlyingToaster, Jul 14 2015
  

       // the fat is liquid at room temperature, hence its traditional use in oil lamps, not candles. //   

       We aver that baby oil is a massive untapped energy resource. Babies are relatively immobile, have no commercial value, are simple to transport in bulk, and easy to find due to the noise they emit.   

       A pilot plant for pressing babies and extracting the oil would not be expensive to construct and should yield an acceptable ROCE. Siting would need to be close to a nursery or maternity hospital to minimise transportation costs for feedstock.   

       As for whales, yes, boil 'em down. We've never liked the way they slink through woodland in packs, attacking deer and caribou, and howling all the time.
8th of 7, Jul 14 2015
  

       Ah [8th], the way you make me laugh twists me all up inside.
Voice, Jul 15 2015
  

       //find due to the noise they emit.   

       You forgot the smell.   

       Which reminds me, I've been working on the very old jokes. "What's a Greek ...?" was too simplistic, 2014 figures suggest an average salary of 11,250 Euro per Greek citizen.   

       "My dog has no nose. So how does he smell?" was a little more complex. The reply should be "Well, with the best part of 2000 taste buds, and the vomerolnasal gland in the palate there's ground to believe that even a dog with no nasal passage at all would have a reasonable sense of smell".
not_morrison_rm, Jul 15 2015
  

       Well, at least you can't be accused of making tasteless jokes ...   

       // twists me all up inside //   

       Our work here is done.   

       // You forgot the smell. //   

       No, we haven't. We have tried very, very hard, but it's impossible to forget the disgusting miasma of putrescent odours that surround a human infant and anything it comes near.
8th of 7, Jul 15 2015
  
      
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