Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pre packaged anal bleaching wipes
  (+10, -1)(+10, -1)
(+10, -1)
  [vote for,

Sold in a box much like tissues, pre soaked in a mixture of 2% hydroquinone formula, with a little aloe vera and scented pine aroma.

Use daily after normal toilet paper to keep a younger, fresher and whiter hole.

benfrost, Jun 23 2005


       Guaranteed 4 shades lighter after one box, use the handy color chart on the inside to test it.
oxen crossing, Jun 23 2005

       Must be an interesting place, inside your head. Bun, you sick, warped person.
froglet, Jun 23 2005

       Ow! Mind the Chalfonts!
gnomethang, Jun 23 2005

       Drawing, please!   

       Why not just an oiled rag with some straight turpetine?
reensure, Jun 23 2005

       Poor, poor Caroline
Wiped her arse with Turpentine
Turpentine made it shine
Now her backside don't look so fine.
Poor, poor Caroline...

       Okay, bad poetry, sorry.
froglet, Jun 23 2005

       Oh!, I thought this was gonna be a nice little idea about a small, hard to find arse (sorry) area of space-time that throws out indiscriminate random particl Oooh!, wait a minute!.
gnomethang, Jun 23 2005

       Yeah, I don't much care for Derek but, to his credit, he does have an extremely white arsehole.
Texticle, Jun 23 2005

       You lured me in with astronomy and now I have a pine tree in my anus.
JesusHChrist, Jun 24 2005

       ben, though I love you deeply
your ideas are becoming seemingly
anatomically, dumb.

       Isn't this a staple at "Neverland"?   

       (Sorry bout the hemorrhoids, Jesus.)
blissmiss, Jun 24 2005

       Perhaps even atomically.
bristolz, Jun 24 2005

       God, bris, we are scrapping bottom with this one. (You sleepless in Seatle?)
blissmiss, Jun 24 2005

       come on, i'm sure this product will appeal to a hole in the market.
benfrost, Aug 05 2006

       The product should come with a modified dentist's mirror , with a long handle - so you can track progress.   

       I presume it comes with a 14-day money-back guarantee?
monojohnny, Aug 05 2006

       I saw an article a while ago about a service that sounded creepily similar to this one that made their clients arseholes whiter. No, I'm not going to look it up or find it on the net - I'm afraid of what I might find.
froglet, Aug 05 2006

       When I was in the Navy, an aquaintance of mine complained about a certain magazine, because they would "Airbrush" over the "Model's" anuses... producing a series of "nude" photographs in which the women had only opening to their digestive tract.   

       Umm, just thought I'd share. Ahh. Catharsis...
ye_river_xiv, Aug 07 2006

       There's a huge market opportunity here for the adult market in Japan. See, people there use colorants to give their faeces a certain color. They then play with each other's turds. After the couple has had such a session, the anus obviously remains pretty much colored for the rest of the week. The Whiteholettes could come in handy there. Also, purely from an aesthetic point of view, it would be nice to start out with a white arse, to see it all coloring up while holding faeces parties. The contrast of the original white pooper gradually taking on a color, is very exciting to many, I can imagine.   

       As a freudian, I can say that the libidinous drive in this case has to do with contrast and transformation and alienation. Hence the colorants used by Japanese people to enhance their scatological pleasures.
django, Aug 07 2006


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