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Window defroster

  [vote for,

Patterned glass is a wonderful thing, but it is inconveniently difficult to see through.

Difficulties in seeing through patterned glass begone!! MaxCo is childishly proud to present the MaxVision Window Defroster.

Simply set up the binocular telephoto digital camera on a stable support, aim at the window in question, and connect to your laptop. Start up the MaxVision software, and you are good to go.

Images scattered through a patterned glass will be distorted in a predictable way. However, they cannot be fully deconvoluted because some light rays will be deflected in such a way that different parts of the image become superimposed by the time they reach the camera.

Fortunately, a sterescopic camera is capable of resolving and deconvoluting such scattered and superimposed images, and our sophisticated software will do the rest.

During the first few seconds, the software will test a library of common repeating glass patterns, trying all combinations of rotation, offset and distance. During this time, it will evaluate the image quality in essentially the same way as a focussing system does, seeking the least-complex and most contrasty image.

Should this fail, an evolutionary algorithm kicks in, modelling the patterned glass in 0.1mm square pixels, optimising the thickness of glass in each pixel until a model is arrived at which, again, produces the clearest image.

Not suitable for use by children or adults.

MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 11 2009


       Will this post mysteriously disappear once the CIA realises their latest gizmo is on the web and, if it does, will I still be able to see it by using your device?
The_Saint, Dec 11 2009

       Nice [+].
8th of 7, Dec 11 2009

       You'd think producers of patterned glass would sell their panes with the appropriate deconvoluting software for digital cameras. +
shudderprose, Dec 11 2009

       Is it possible to produce extra-frosted glass to outwit the device?
pocmloc, Dec 11 2009

       Oh great, please stop inventing defrosting things. Next you'll be inventing devices to defrost cakes. Wait...I defrost cakes. So I guess therefore it (I) am already baked?
leinypoo13, Dec 11 2009

       Surely you can defrost a cake by leaving it on the side for a few hours? Or use a microwave oven if you are in a hurry?
pocmloc, Dec 12 2009

       //Is it possible to produce extra-frosted glass to outwit the device?//   

       It is possible to design a relatively simple pattern which will outwit even the MaxVision Window Defroster, using stochastic prime fractals.   

       Panes of Defroster-Proof glass can be ordered from our sister company, Maxicurity Co.   

       A software upgrade allowing the MaxVision Window Defroster to see through even stochastic prime fractal glass is available from MaxVision free of charge after paying a modest registration fee.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2009

       "During the first few seconds....." "Should this fail..." And should nothing satisfactory transpire in your field of vision by this time the system memory will replay the last twenty minute stretch of successfully resolved and deconvoluted video from a recent viewing so that the viewer may successfully, albeit temporarily, resolve his socially convoluted anxieties.
outloud, Dec 13 2009


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