Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Windscreen Wiper Shocker

Avoid those pesky parking tickets once and for all.
  (+4, -6)
(+4, -6)
  [vote for,

If it works for farm animals it should work for city parking departments.

When you get out of your car simply arm your alarm and your windshield wipers. Once you here the re-assuring "bleep - bleep" you can walk away confidently knowing any parking ticket-hander-outer will get the shock of their life as they lift your windshield wiper to slide the ticket under it.

A 200v stun-gun linked up beneath your hood feeding into your wiper assembly armed by your security system would do the job.

Park illegally, sit across the street at an outside coffee shop and let the festivities begin.

dvine, Mar 27 2002


       Of course, you will have plenty of prison time to think back and laugh about the spectacle of your electrocuting a police officer.
bristolz, Mar 27 2002

       I'm sure the police would have to think long and hard before impounding your car.
mcscotland, Mar 27 2002

       That may be true, but they wouldn't think twice about impounding the car owner.
bristolz, Mar 27 2002

       [sorry Bristolz, I forgot to type with Homer-style sarcastic winks]
mcscotland, Mar 27 2002

       ooops! So did I
bristolz, Mar 27 2002

       I think a stun system would normally be based on a charged capacitor at 200,000V DC, not 200V. The discharge should also trigger the intermittent wiping action so as to shove the poor smoldering meter maid off to one side and prepare for the next.   

       Am I to understand from your opening statement that you have tested this device on farm animals? For shame...
spartanica, Mar 27 2002

       If that's true, I want to know how dvine got a cow to ticket a car.
mcscotland, Mar 27 2002

       The device is not intended to kill or mame. Only to discourage. Similiar to electric fences on farms. A gentle reminder as to where the shockee's boundries lie.
dvine, Mar 28 2002

       Ah, but it is you who evidently must be reminded (I hope this reminder is gentler than your proposed method) that the shockee's boundaries lie considerably beyond where you imagine they do.   

       Aside from the cruelty issue (which is reprehensible), and whether you intend to kill or maim, it has apparently escaped your attention that the shockee is not some malevolent private citizen stalking you personally in order to ruin your day. The people who, by democratic representation, decide where you may or may not park are all the other people amongst whom you live, and they (we) have decided you can't park there or for that long for ostensibly good reasons (and if they're really not good reasons, there are legal ways of redress). People who seek to defeat the democratically-expressed will of the people (i.e., laws) go to jail.
beauxeault, Mar 28 2002

       Gosh, when you put it that way, I feel kinda bad about suggesting 200,000V... Maybe instead it should dispense a donut to the hardworking civil servant.
spartanica, Mar 29 2002

       Just add a friendly warning. Get one of those recordings that say "Please step away from the car". Maybe they'll reduce the sentence.
ThotMouser, Apr 30 2002

       I think that it would be right laught to see the poor bloke getting a shock from your car and I would certainly be up for it.
Tom4000, Mar 29 2004

       Add a power setting switch. Only two positions: "Easily confused with bad wiring" and "Crispy".
eyeguy, Mar 29 2004

       Well it's a good idea, but i'm afriaid they'd arrest you for shocking the crap out of a traffic ticket giver?
paperclip987, Jun 17 2004

       This idea isn't for avoiding parking tickets. It's for avoiding those pesky flyers. A few places I like to legally park someone puts flyers under my wiper blade, endangering my life when it rains and I finally notice that annoying piece of paper. Electric fence generator to metal blade, problem solved. A few of these in a parking lot would cause flyer distributors to either wear leather gloves or to walk around jittery in fear of the next armed wiper.   

       Besides, just put a nice warning label on your car: PROTECTED BY ELECTRICITY.
joeforker, Aug 07 2005

       Although I don't necessairly agree with the motive, I think you could pass this off as an "anti-theft device". Better still if you just electrify the whole car--more plausible that way, and it actually does work as an anti-theft device. Granted you may get your tires slashed in a crowded parking lot.
5th Earth, Aug 07 2005

       Ok, So to complete an electrical circuit you must have a ground... how do you propose you ground to concrete??   

       //I'm sure the police would have to think long and hard before impounding your car//   

       You ever see what they do to brief cases that they suspect an explosive??   

       Think of the police putting your car in a box and detonating it just to spite you
shad, Aug 07 2005


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