Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Woodpecker of Doom, and Steel Drum

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I like the sound of a woodpecker foraging, the “br-a-a-a-a-t” rapid fire pecking sound, echoing in the distance. But I’d really like a big, mechanical, compressed air-powered woodpecker. It could be clamped halfway up a pecan tree, to shake those pecans out.

Below the branches, I’d place a specially designed large musical Caribbean steel drum, to surround the trunk, to funnel the pecans into one spot. When pecans fall, they’ll hit the drum, to create a brief calypso cascade.

In the fall, I’ll clamp the Woodpecker of Doom to a loaded pecan tree, set up the drum and start the compressor. At the flick of a switch, “BR-A-A-A-A-T” goes the bird, shaking the tree in an ear-splitting, earth-shattering roar, causing a flock of crows 2 miles away, in fact everything in the blast radius, to flee in terror. This will be followed by a few seconds of the “clink-thunk-clankity-clank” of the steelpan. Wait, I think I see a pecan still clinging on for dear life up there…

And that’s it, in a nutshell.

Amos Kito, Feb 12 2008

Pecan Tree Shaker http://www.youtube....watch?v=rQXJfYJrumo
No kidding, it’s how you get 'em. [Amos Kito, Feb 12 2008, last modified Oct 15 2012]

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       Ever been in an MRI machine?
jutta, Feb 12 2008
  

       Loud noises, pecan nuts, calypso, bun.
wagster, Feb 12 2008
  

       Animals, doom, steelpan, croissant.
theleopard, Feb 12 2008
  

       //Ever been in an MRI machine?//
Yes, but it didn't have that lovely pecan nuttiness to look forward to. [+]
coprocephalous, Feb 12 2008
  

       You could call it Bubo, hang on, nope that was an owl +
skinflaps, Feb 12 2008
  

       Bubo Baggins was an owl?
theleopard, Feb 12 2008
  

       Baggins was a Titan?
skinflaps, Feb 12 2008
  

       [+], purely for the closing pun.
Ned_Ludd, Feb 12 2008
  

       There are titan bags in Warsaw?
theleopard, Feb 12 2008
  

       + love the nutty idea, esp. the Steel drum!
xandram, Feb 12 2008
  

       Mm. Brings back pleasant memories of pile drivers at work on distant building sites.   

       (Having also been in an MRI machine, and having had so little to distract me, I dozed off, I'm just wondering if jutta maybe got fobbed off with a dryer with a quarter in it...?)
DrCurry, Feb 12 2008
  

       I used to live close to a neighborhood ballpark with lots of lightpoles, and there were a few pileated woodpeckers in the area.   

       If you hear the loud TATATAT, that's the male announcing his territory. Pecking for food is much more subtle.   

       One of our local males discovered banging on our aluminum siding, and also the big transformer cans at the tops of lightpoles. I wonder what the other woodpeckers made of that.
elhigh, Feb 13 2008
  

       MRI was interesting. After a while of laying perfectly still, the repetitive sound started to seem like a human vocalization. It was just like a guy going "Kaloodj. Kaloodj. Kaloodj."   

       Then they changed to a different (?Wavelength?) and it was a lady saying "Yippah. Yippah. Yippah."   

       P.S. I hate sitting still.
GutPunchLullabies, Feb 13 2008
  

       <snort> Bird. But sometimes...   

       No, bird. Just bird.
elhigh, Feb 14 2008
  

       //Ever been in an MRI machine?//
If I only had a nickel for every time someone's asked me that.
Amos Kito, Feb 15 2008
  
      
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