Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Your Final Wardrobe

aka sarcophadrobe
  [vote for,

Your Final Wardrobe is an ordinary wooden closet used for storing clothes, apart from a few additional features: the back of the wardrobe is reinforced, and not made of the usual thin hardboard or mdf and there are some extra holes on its sides and front door.

The holes on the sides are to facilitate the attachment of two sets of brass handles, with the ones on the front ready to receive a small brass plate.

Now when the owner of the Final Wardrobe shuffles off the mortal coil, there is no need to obtain an expensive coffin for burial or cremation. Just pop them into their wardrobe; screw the handles on to the side, and attach the brass name and date details to the front.

xenzag, Dec 09 2017

Coventry Telegraph (2003): Hang it all, Derek, it's a coffin! http://www.coventry...-its-coffin-3153826
"Crafted in Ireland and built as a copy in the 1920s, the owner would have used it as a wardrobe until he or she died. It would then double up as a coffin." [jutta, Dec 11 2017]


       Skeleton in the wardrobe, nice. The other good aspect is it would speed up house clearance, the wardrobe needing to be emptied of clothes immediately instead of them being left hanging around for years after your demise.
DDRopDeadly, Dec 09 2017

       Personally I think it’s a nice touch too to keep the full length mirror for the festering corpse to admire himself in
DDRopDeadly, Dec 09 2017

       // the festering corpse to admire himself in //   

       Sp. "herself".   

       Only females are vain and stupid enough to worry or care how they might look after death.   

       Most males don't give a tuppeny damn what they look like even when they're alive ...
8th of 7, Dec 09 2017

       [xenzag] What were you doing to think this one up?
wjt, Dec 09 2017

       WTF? This isn't Narnia...   

       No, and you're not in Kansas any more, either.   

       Watch out for the velociraptors.
8th of 7, Dec 09 2017

       //What were you doing to think this one up?//Watching BBC4 French series 'Witnesses". It's creepy and bodies get stored in deep freezers etc, so the dots must have gotten connected as they do. As for my own "arrangements" - I'm signed over to the local University's medical dept, to join my mum and dad in the specimen jars. I hate funerals, and won't be having one!
xenzag, Dec 10 2017

       Have you considered plastination? Whereas donating your body to medical science seems like a more direct benefit, and I've thought about it myself, plastination might inspire people to go into medicine and it might have more far- reaching consequences in the long run. Although, now you've mentioned it the direct donation to a medical faculty is appealing to me more.
nineteenthly, Dec 11 2017

       Plastination would also allow you to mandate in a Benthamesque way that, if your family wants to inherit anything of your vast wealth, your body be preserved and seated in your favourite armchair so that your family can enjoy your company and your unchanging, cheery, youthful expression forever, as they grow old and decrepit.
hippo, Dec 11 2017

       So [hippo], in this scenario [xenzag] hasn't got long to go, or is there something I've missed?
nineteenthly, Dec 11 2017

       I'm not being converted into an idiotic plastic mannequin as part of a tacky sideshow for half wits. Actually now that I describe it like that, the idea of being a skinless poodle groomer in a garish neon lit salon scene is quite an attractive prospect, but it shall never be. My contract is with the dissection lab, and I'm happy with it.
xenzag, Dec 11 2017

       // I'm not being converted into an idiotic plastic mannequin as part of a tacky sideshow for half wits. //   

       ... and yet you have a halfbakery account.   

       Can you explain, even partly, that curious contradiction ?   

       You did read the terms and conditions of use, didn't you ??
8th of 7, Dec 11 2017


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