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Your Wife as a Fish

(who swims in a dish)
  (+22, -9)(+22, -9)
(+22, -9)
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A man enters a pet store with a photograph of his wife and lays it on the table in front of the fish surgeon.

'I would like this on an active halibut'.

'Right you are sir, right you are' he (or she) replies.

The man pays a small deposit and returns several days later to acquire the afore mentioned halibut swimming pensively in a well sealed container. On closer inspection, the fish has undergone cosmetic surgery such that its features now resemble none other than his wife: make-up, hair extensions, reading glasses etc.

The man returns home and releases the halibut into a tank (or dish - which seems to rhyme nicely) of tepid water - and the birthday surprise is complete on her return home from the boil refinery.

benfrost, Dec 10 2004

Belly Up http://www.thejump....th-a-human-face.htm
"Who you calling 'fishface'?" [reensure, Dec 10 2004]

And if you get sick of your wife as a fish http://www.luxrothchop.com/smeagull.jpg
set smeagull on her. [calum, Dec 10 2004]

Pancake Fishes Pancake_20Fishes
almost all annos are fish puns [DesertFox, Dec 12 2004]

[link]






       ha, ha,ha, ha,ha, ha,ha, ha,ha, ha,ha, ha, ha, ha,ha, ha,! [+]
skinflaps, Dec 10 2004
  

       'Twould be a waste if all that cosmetic surgery was applied only on the down-side of the halibut. Who would see it? And she would still be blind, to boot.
jurist, Dec 10 2004
  

       "I wish she were a fish".
Shz, Dec 10 2004
  

       How much was the deposit?
stupop, Dec 10 2004
  

       Don't tell me he did this on a whim.....or for the benefit of the fish....I won't say it, you can't make me do it.
normzone, Dec 10 2004
  

       At least your wife as a halibut would have both her eyes on the same side of her head. Okay, quit picking on the halibut.
reensure, Dec 10 2004
  

       Mmmmm, halibut.
Machiavelli, Dec 10 2004
  

       what [skinflaps] said.
energy guy, Dec 10 2004
  

       Also entitled "How to get smacked over the head with a fish that resembles the person smacking you with it".
wagster, Dec 10 2004
  

       Ha! Do w/crabs too.
sophocles, Dec 10 2004
  

       Halibuts are pretty dang big. Why would you choose such a big fish? Oh... nevermind.
bungston, Dec 10 2004
  

       [+], but oh, not for MY wife of course. This isn't just for the wife, but could be made to look like, say, anyone from pResident Bush to Christina Aqualera.
sophocles, Dec 10 2004
  

       Heeheeheehee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! +
DesertFox, Dec 10 2004
  

       I only wish I knew what inspired this.
5th Earth, Dec 11 2004
  

       With [ben], trust me, no you don't.   

       A Christmas gift for thumbwax?
RayfordSteele, Dec 11 2004
  

       I feel as though I should contact the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Fish.
Aegir, Dec 11 2004
  

       A hillariously attractive idea M8...But I think a majority of wives would be a tad insulted by this gesture...with the halibut being one of the ugliest fish known to man and all. Maybe an angel fish would suit this better...eitherway [+]
shinobi, Dec 11 2004
  

       "Are you going to keep staring at that aquarium, or are you going to come here and do something"
theircompetitor, Dec 11 2004
  

       Now if you scaled it up on porpoise...   

       //porpoise = mammal, do you mean shark?//   

       Hmmm... wondering why this is relevant.
zigness, Dec 11 2004
  

       Damn. We have gone mad.
Pericles, Dec 11 2004
  

       On porpoise or by accident?
harderthanjesus, Dec 12 2004
  

       Probably just for the halibut.
cromagnon, Dec 12 2004
  

       this is going silly, I can feelit.
po, Dec 12 2004
  

       Pancake Fishes = fish puns
DesertFox, Dec 12 2004
  

       a cosmetic sturgeon ?
neilp, Dec 13 2004
  

       Where's sparky when you need him?
blissmiss, Dec 13 2004
  

       or even beta?
po, Apr 16 2005
  

       Take my fish. Please.   

       take it? where?
po, Apr 16 2005
  

       Out on a date, of course!
DesertFox, Dec 01 2005
  

       but why would you want to give your fish away? [2fries] everybody loves fish and chips
gorjabuble, Dec 02 2005
  

       Isn't this a Monty Pyhton sketch?
Minimal, Dec 02 2005
  

       <Maddona voice> "Like a sturgeon, touched for the very first time..." </mv> *

*or Weird Al Yankovic, if you prefer.
coprocephalous, Dec 02 2005
  

       Wouldn't you need a fish licence too?
nineteenthly, Dec 02 2005
  

       Ok enough of the fish jokes, you're giving me a haddock.
fridge duck, Dec 02 2005
  
      
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