Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Faster than a stationary bullet.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Zombie Denial for the Mute

Because the disabled are often a moot point in a Zombie Apolcapyse
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1)
  [vote for,

Have people realised how dangerous it would be to be either deaf or unable to speak in a Zombie Apocalypse?

A primary cliché of the genre is to demand that someone speaks in order to prove they are not a zombie. A deaf person might not be able to hear the question, while a mute person will not be able to respond unless the stressed-out inquisitor is able to recognise the local sign- language as something other than random zombie writhing.

I proposed a pack that responds to questions with "I am not a zombie; just unable to speak. Please do not kill me". To ensure that this doesn't work on people who have died and "returned" the pack checks for the correct body temperature. It could be worn around the throat.

A deluxe version could be created for couples unable to speak, where one says something like "I am not a zombie and neither is my spouse/partner/fellow survivor; we are just unable to speak. Please do not kill us." It would have a switch to allow the user to swap back to the single message if their significant other is eaten.

I thought of this while pondering what kind of architecture would be zombie-proof without being too expensive. This was probably consist of tactics including ha-has, moats and elevated living space.

Aristotle, May 29 2011

what happened to the Anasazi? http://www.trussel....prehist/news128.htm
"Generations of scientists have postulated that such suspended villages - located far from water - represented a fear of a great foe. Turner suggests the Anasazi took up these defensive positions against a horrible enemy - the evil that had infiltrated their own people. " [bungston, May 30 2011]


       Oops, I should have know better to have discussed the inspiration for the idea after the idea itself.   

       But I'll look into those structures. I guess they were designed to ward against herds, much as the English (and French) ha-has were.
Aristotle, May 29 2011

       Given that zombies feed on human brains, it seems like a deaf and mute person would want to be seen, as much as possible, munching on a cheeseburger. Hey, it may not do that much for their cholesterol level, but at least people will know they're not zombies...   

       Bun for being zombie related [+].
Grogster, May 29 2011

       Hey [grog], that would have the opposite effect shirley? I mean what do you think burgers are made out of?
pocmloc, May 29 2011

       Like, Human Brain Cheeseburgers? Hadn't thought of that one!
Grogster, May 29 2011

       Betcha McDonalds have ...
8th of 7, May 29 2011

       a device that indetifies a living thinking human beeing, not trained by company orders, e.i. a banker that sticks to the future possibilities, and not refers to demanding further documentation,..
sirau, May 29 2011

       Hey, [sirau] - speed kills.
Grogster, May 30 2011

       Manufacturing would be a problem for until the Zombie Apocalypse strikes you would have no precise knowledge of the running temperature of a zombie, in order to perform the alive or undead test.
Aristotle, May 30 2011

       It might be a problem if an owner of said pack were to become a zombie - they would have the paperwork to prove otherwise and suddenly find themselves in a veritable brainsfest.
gnomethang, May 30 2011

       + Thanks for your dedication and serving as a resource on these issues.
Mustardface, May 30 2011

       / Many old Navajo and Pueblo structures would do quite well to protect their occupants from zombies. /   

       I like it. Also the whole concept of historic zombie armageddons. It would be a great starter for a movie - how those Anasazi cliff dwellings really got to be abandoned. I am pretty sure that there is evidence of bones munched by human teeth found in the context of those cliff dwellings, which was interpreted as cannibalism but could also be zombie predation. The movie would show the fall of Anasazi civilization to zombies and the subsequent dissolution of most zombies in the desert. Underground, however...   

       One could show the ancient Navajo hunting down the remaining zombies. Spooky Navajo magic/legends are great movie stuff. The modern Indian zombie fighter from an ancient lineage of zombie fighters. Plus the buff Navajo martial arts master has not really been done since Billy Jack. Magic conchos, anyone?
bungston, May 30 2011

       Prehistoric hunter-gathers would have an easier time with a Zombie Apocalypse, I believe.   

       For a start there would no extreme over population that might become rapidly converted into a ravenous hoard. A village of zombies is far less worrying than a whole city ...   

       Every adult would theoretically be mobile and know how to gather or hunt food. They probably would be used to tribal raiding and would probably carry a workable set of weapons or tools that they could replace, if necessary.   

       If someone can ward off or kill the local species of big cat with a flint spear then a zombie should not be much of a problem, even with the modern tendency for them to run at you when "aroused".
Aristotle, May 31 2011

       gnomethang - I do mention the checking of the temperature of the wielder, which should prevent the pack working for users when they are converted into shamblers.
Aristotle, May 31 2011

       Beg pardon [Aristotle] - I missed that!
gnomethang, May 31 2011

       Ah, where's a good Zombie Apocalypse when you need one?   

       Although I recognize the problem as legitimate one, the solution is silly. A couple of simple mathematics questions answerable through the showing of the correct number of fingers would do the trick. Hell, throw them a pen and see if they can use it. Or offer the suspected zombies a laptop and ask them to correctly answer a captcha (please allow for two or three attempts, some times those things are less then obvious). [-]
PauloSargaco, May 31 2011


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle