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The UK will leave the EU in Autumn 2019.
2020 is the 80th anniversary of the Dunkirk evacuation.
It seems apposite to celebrate both events by re-enacting the evacuation,
but ths time getting it right.
Firstly, a large group of British volunteers would be recruited,
and would congregate
in southern Belgium. They would then form a rampaging
mob, making their way slowly through france to Dunkirk and Calais, leaving
total devastation* in their wake; towns burnt, bridges blown up, railways
wrecked.
Behind them will come contingents of the Bundeswehr, in parade order,
handing out leaflets politely explaining "We Are The Masters Now", and
exchanging Euros for Deutschmarks.
At the ports, the British will leave on a motley assembly of ships,
those which took part in the original evacuation being reserved for
VIPs** and the media.
There will be a flypast by historic aircraft, parades of period vehicles,
staged battle re-enactments, Anglo-German goodwill dinners, and speeches,
after which Dunkirk will be burnt to the ground.
When all the British have safely left, the flotilla will return to take
up any french who wish to depart, but they will then be taken down-channel
and pushed overboard during the night, accompanied by gleeful cries of "Au revoir, Pierre !"
and "Where's your bloody Charles de Gaulle now, eh ?"
In the south coast ports, returnees will receive biscuits and mugs
of hot tea before being presented wuth commemorative medallions,
hats, Union Flag T-shirts, and a parchment scroll from the German Chancellor
inscribed "For you, Tommy, the war is over".
After an address by Her Majesty the Queen, thanking them, they will
then disperse for a series of monumental piss-ups in their home
regions, at which bully beef butties will be served.
*They could if they wish devastate Belgium too, but it's unlikely to be
noticeable.
**The Americans will of course be invited, but will not turn up until
2022, two years late (as usual).
Hey There EU?
https://www.youtube...watch?v=XxScTbIUvoA
Lead singer Guy Verhofstadt? [Skewed, Aug 15 2019]
Gratuitous reference -
Banzai_20Baseball
Glenda K. Richter would be very upset with me ... [normzone, Aug 15 2019]
[link]
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This reads suspiciously like Sturton coming back from holiday.
He too complained about the motley assembly of chips on the
boat ride home. |
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Isn't this essentially just the fans itinerary of any UEFA football
match where England plays someone from Europe in Europe in
the 80's? |
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//**The Americans will of course be invited, but will not
turn up until 2022, two years late (as usual).// |
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Now it was our understanding that if we attended two
European based world wars we'd get our third for free. |
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Until then, congratulations on dumping this idea of tying
the knot with Germany and France so you can form some
kind of "USA II". You're better off running your own affairs
believe me. Let Germany play their European domination,
I
mean, global economy games on their own. |
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Really guys, quit trusting the Germans already OK? Jeez.
We might end up being the "United Soviet States Of
America" pretty soon so you might be on your own for the
next go around. |
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I tried to tell him my fingers are not chips. |
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Don’t forget to tell them to bring wheelbarrows to
carry all the cash they will need (especially if
they’re using sterling) to pay for their train
journeys north, once they reach the English
southern coast. (for those who live in the colonies
and don’t know, the UK’s trains are the most
expensive, slowest, most infrequent, most often
late, most overcrowded, and most often broken
down or cancelled in the entire developed world)
In Europe they are a constant source of smug
merriment as we scoot around on our fab TGVs. |
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I resent that! We may be behind, but the US is definitely still to be considered part of the developed world! |
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Isn’t there a plan to connect Washington to New
York with a giant elongated speaking tube, with
relaying booths punctuating the entire route so
that messages are delivered via a Chinese whisper
method? |
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//we scoot around on our fab TGVs // |
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You did read the line about "towns burnt, bridges blown up, railways wrecked.", didn't you ? |
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That includes the rolling stock, altho Siemens will no doubt gladly sell some more, at extortionate prices. |
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I read your words [zen] but all I hear is this [link], with
'Cthulhu' in the lyrics replaced by 'EU', sung by Guy Verhofstadt
with a backing chorus of Europhiles & #FBPE loons :p |
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But it is loony to demand it's destruction while yelling that
you're doing it to save everyone. |
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Who of course then all die
because you destroyed their home & livelihood. |
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I'm quaking in my boots over Brexit. I mean, we've all barely
recovered from the global catastrophe of the Y2K bug. |
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//we've all barely recovered from the global catastrophe of
the Y2K bug// |
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Does that mean we have or we haven't? |
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Just wondering if it's safe to leave my Y2K bunker or not. |
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Nice work, [zen_tom]. Now I have to see if I can find ... |
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Ah, there it is - See the link, if you please. |
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Brexit will have no effect on many of its
protagonists, like Bonkers Boris, James Dismal
Dyson, Fruit Cake Farage etc, as all of their
investments have been either shifted out of the UK
and into Euros or to places like Singapore. It’s the
poorly informed saps in places like Scunthorpe or
Wigan or Hartlepool who will wake up with no job,
and be facing the hard edge of total chaos. Instead
of setting fire to the fertile fields of France, they
may well end up burning their own furniture to
stay warm this winter. |
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//Farmers will find the additional 40% tariffs applied to their meat
produce// |
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Can I just mention that, over the last few years, the UK has
consistently imported about 2.5 times more food from the EU than
we have exported to the EU (25-35bn imports vs 10-14bn exports).
The likelihood that the EU will insist on 40% tariffs is zero. |
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In the event of a no-deal Brexit, the EU will do what is best for the
EU, and the UK will do what's best for the UK. In practical terms,
those two things align to a large extent. |
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Well, yes, that's what happens when you're negotiating
something: you agree all the things you agree on nice and
quickly and then you fight over the things you disagree on.
No amount of "our interests are aligned" (a line I have to my
shame used more than a few times) will get you past (a)
there are areas where interests are not aligned and (b) in
respect of those non aligned areas, the biggest boy gets the
better deal. In a no deal situation, the UK is not the biggest
boy. |
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Isn't there a Unix roll-over 2030 or summat like
that? |
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Babbage Difference Engines will jam if given a year after
2027, since this is 50/7ths of 28378. Unless preventative
action is taken, the main carriage pawls are likely to be
irreparably damaged. |
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