Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Jesus First Miracle Parties

Alcohol as evangelism tool.
  [vote for,

Let's face it, evangelism is getting a bad rap, and churches would be well-served appealing to the everyman. So, why not tap one of the most powerful symbols that Jesus loves to party? Re-enact Jesus's first miracle, and the wedding reception where miraculous amounts of wine are created to save the wedding.

Hopefully the parties will have a nice turn-out, and introduce more people to christianity as well as be a total blast!

Madai, May 16 2004

The first miracle... http://www.somethin...et/sp12142012.shtml
[normzone, Apr 01 2013]


       Water to wine= bad translation. I'm pretty sure it was grape juice, from what I've heard. Lots of stuff got messed up when King Jimmy decided to translate the bible. In fact, he named a book after himself. The book of Jacob, or rather, James. Idiot. Anyway, churches of Christ serve grape juice every sunday, so this really isn't much different. [-]
ghillie, May 16 2004

       ghillie: even in Greek, the text read "wine". What's confusing you are the modern day apologists who cannot believe Christ would encourage drunkeness.
DrCurry, May 16 2004

       Sounds like a good topic for 'overbaked.'   

       According to my sources, it was wine, but not quite as strong as modern wine; about the level of a light beer. They would refer to ours as a drink of barbarians.
RayfordSteele, May 16 2004

       the truth is that the wedding party were well in their cups when the miracle happened and they couldn't tell wine from water!
po, May 16 2004

       Actually, [dentworth], Paul wrote don't be drunk with wine - Jesus didn't mention it at all.
PeterSilly, May 16 2004

       Thanks [peter], I was afraid I was getting in over my head...
dentworth, May 16 2004

       Marked for deletion, magic?   

       I'm not suggesting we find a way to actually turn water into wine, I'm suggesting we HIDE the wine until after the re-enactment, and then, once the re-enactment has taken place, then bring it out.   

       If it was communion, I'd say overbaked, yes, however, this is not communion. it won't be sacremental, it will be a party designed to lure in unsuspecting heathens with alcohol. They can go to church later.
Madai, May 16 2004

       Ah. MFD withdrawn, then. But the type of people likely to want to do this are also the type who use grape juice instead of wine for communion. So it probably wouldn't appeal in the first place, as they'll obviously get into doctrinal arguments with everyone at the wedding reception.
DrCurry, May 16 2004

       fishbone for me.....for anyone who thinks that recruiting more christians is a GOOD thing
ivanhoe, May 17 2004

       Croissant just to counter the anti-christian bigotry.
egbert, May 17 2004

       I would have thought anyone around here opposed to recruiting Christians would still be in favor of converting water to wine.
DrCurry, May 17 2004

       "the type of people likely to want to do this are also the type who use grape juice instead of wine for communion"   

       Uh... this is the part of the 'image problem' evangelism has. A bunch of prudish, privacy invading creeps coming to knock on your door when you're trying to get on with your day.   

       "as they'll obviously get into doctrinal arguments with everyone"   

       Two words: LOUD MUSIC. after the re-enactment is done, crank the music and dance. If people wanna talk, they can walk off somewhere else away from the action. The spirit of the party is to shut up and have fun, leave the heavier theological stuff for later.   

       And I don't care if the wine was watered-down in the olden times. In today's day and age, I believe full-strength wine is called for. Other tasty beverages will be welcome as well.
Madai, May 17 2004

       God damn, how did it take me 9 years to discover this idea?
JesusHChrist, Apr 01 2013

       I'll be a son of a bitch. Happy Easter, diddly.
JesusHChrist, Apr 01 2013

       I'm going to invite me myself and I and I.
JesusHChrist, Apr 01 2013

       Just as an aside, couldn't one argue that "Jesus's first miracle" would have been the immaculate conception?
JesusHChrist, Apr 01 2013

       But then if this first miracle is the immaculate conception, then are you calling for a reenactment of the immaculate conception?... either way, I am in.
JesusHChrist, Apr 01 2013

       Aaaaannnnnnnnnddddd here's your first miracle (link).
normzone, Apr 01 2013

       Not to mention that "my father? My father? I'll tell you who my father is," is pretty clearly the result of a lifetime of bullying in an environment where unclear parenting is not accepted.
JesusHChrist, Apr 01 2013


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