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"Things that go bump in the night" visualiser

  (+27, -1)(+27, -1)(+27, -1)
(+27, -1)
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This system will listen to the strange creaks, groans and bumps from your house at night and will, by analysing the input from several microphones at once, model the source of the noise and indicate its location on a faint vector-graphic 3-D rendition of your house projected on your bedroom wall.
hippo, Aug 05 2010


       if for no other reason, than to rule out monsters in the closet +
dentworth, Aug 05 2010

       But what if the system does indicate an actual monster in the closet ?   

       Ideal for children's bedrooms.   

8th of 7, Aug 05 2010

       [+] the upscale model projects the most probable monster depending on the sounds.
FlyingToaster, Aug 05 2010

       It's a cool idea but takes the fun out of unknown noises in the night. I'd prefer a CAD application that constructed 3-D monsters based on cues from all those odd noises and then projected that on the wall.
DrBob, Aug 05 2010

       what he said.
FlyingToaster, Aug 05 2010

       [ft] - but he said the same thing as you said in your previous anno - so you should have said "what I said". Anyway, I agree that's a better idea: the noise of the wind rattling the loose windowpane downstairs will be represented as a rattlesnake or the ghosts of the dead people whose graves were cleared away to make room for your house rattling their bones.
hippo, Aug 05 2010

       This would be an interesting plot device in the Stupid Dead Teenager movie genre.   

       Example: "It's always the cat". Whenever a protagonist becomes aware of small sounds and/or stealthy movement, it turs out to be "the cat". Having sighed the obligatory sigh of relief, and relaxed their guard, they are then set upon by the villain.   

       Therefore, a device that informs victims that "It's just the wind rattling that loose screen door" when in fact it's the villain picking the lock on the french wndows might have some mileage.
8th of 7, Aug 05 2010

       I need help distinguishing something here. For the original version, I understand that a single wall is used to project onto in the house model. In the monster model, can it have the ability to project onto *any* wall? +
daseva, Aug 05 2010

       4 raptors displayed by the front door. 6 more at the kitchen window, 3 by the bedroom, 2 at the back door. You may be able to escape through the bathroom window.   

       <apologies to randall@xkcd>
lurch, Aug 06 2010

       //he said the same thing as you said//

Oh yes, so I did. I used more words though. That's got to be worth something right?
DrBob, Aug 10 2010

       Yes, the special award for verbose prolixity.
hippo, Aug 10 2010

       Hoorah! I won something!
DrBob, Aug 10 2010

       Yes, but it's probably not quite as valuable as you would like to imagine.
8th of 7, Aug 10 2010

       My wife's friend came to our house one day with a black-and-blue eye and a big gash on her forhead. "I know exactly what your thinking..." she said. "But here's what actually happened: our baby woke up in the middle of the night crying. I got up but didn't turn the light on, and hit the picture hanging over our bed with my shoulder, it came off the wall and crashed into the bed head, then hit my eye with the frame. The glass smashed, and cut my forehead. At first I didn't know what hit me. I started screaming for help. Then my husband turned on the light. I said: 'Oh no! The picture!' and we both started laughing. "   

       We know the couple well, they do not use violence in conflict, and at a close look you saw that it wasn't a black-and-blue eye but rather a mark from the frame corner.   

       This invention could probably help prevent such events, unless the idea itself would crash and fall off the wall.
pashute, Aug 10 2010

       We have anecdotal evidence that it is possible, when suffering cognitive impairment induced by alcohol consumption, to wake up in a hotel bedroom and attempt to locate the bathroom without turning on the light, but due to the aforemetioned cognitive impairment, experincing a consequential temporary kinesthetic and navigational defecit and walking at some speed into a wall, which really really hurts (allegedly).   

       It has also been known for a picture hook to fail unexpectedly in the night, causing the heavy picture supported by it to descend like a guillotine blade between the bedhead and the wall, making an eerie swooshing sound followed by a trememndous crash immediately adjacent to the heads of the sleeping occupants. What's worse is turning the light on and finding no obvious evidence of anything amiss, until a throrough search of the room in daylight revels the course of events (allegedly).
8th of 7, Aug 10 2010

       I learned a word today, and wondered why I'd never had this idea. [+] bravo.
absterge, Oct 22 2015

       I needed this in a previous house, every evening after sundown it would begin popping. I assume some bit of roofing was contracting upon cooling down. But it was still annoying. and this would help me find it and rip it out by its roots!
dentworth, Oct 22 2015

       In my parent's house (which was big and old), I'd occasionally wake up at about 3am and hear what sounded like slow, regular footsteps, heavy breathing, and sometimes the clank of something metallic. It was very eerie, and used to worry the crap out of me. Fortunately, it turned out to be just some maniacal axe-wielding murderer with asthma, so the mystery was solved.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 22 2015

       [8th] does not use an axe.
Voice, Oct 23 2015

       Hard to tell, with that big sticking plaster stuck over it.   

       // [8th] does not use an axe //   

       That is not entirely correct. We do not use an axe when something more spectacularly noisy and destructive is an option. It just isn't our weapon of first choice.
8th of 7, Oct 23 2015

       This discussion begs the question whether a picture, virtual or physical, stimulates or stifles imagination development?
wjt, Oct 23 2015

       The US military already does this with Zombie drills.
travbm, Oct 31 2015

       Since this Idea describes a system that is sophisticated enough to need a computer at its core, imagine hacking it on Halloween, specifically to falsely indicate monsters in the closets, and under the beds, and so on.
Vernon, Oct 31 2015

       I say spotlights that turn on with some kind of extra sound effect, "catching" the culprit, and a camera showing the room where it happened. Then with eerie music slowly zoom in.
pashute, Oct 31 2015

       what flying said twice.
pashute, Oct 31 2015


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