Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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better than nothing flotation device

  [vote for,

An empty balloon sewn into a little pierce proof pocket in your swim wear. Next time you get taken out into the middle of the ocean by rip current and run out of energy just rip open the pocket and inflate the balloon. Hold on to it for a little extra buoyancy. Because of the ridiculously low cost, every piece of swim wear can have this (or two for backup)

Warning: not meant to be used as an alternative to a PFD or common sense. Balloon may pop. Average duration before pop is only 6 hours. Hopefully enough to save you some energy before you get rescued. .... not ideal but better than nothing

EDIT: Forgot to say... for people with good dexterity there is also a "balloon animal" version. The pocket includes 6 long balloons suitable for various parts of your custom assembled flotation device (or balloon animals to cheer up your fellow cast aways)
ixnaum, Jun 20 2011

children's swimsuits with floatation devices in them http://www.solartex...ool-Pal-Boys/Detail
[xandram, Jun 20 2011]

benfrost reports from similar yet different territory Vaginal_20Cavity_20Buoyancy
[calum, Jun 22 2011]


       "Is that a PFD in your pocket or are you just glad to see me ?"
FlyingToaster, Jun 20 2011

       Had to make the choice once to leave a hypothermic buddy clinging to the side of an un-rightable canoe on the ocean to die alone in order to have a slim chance of saving myself swimming for a nearby island or sticking it out with him.   

       Luckily we were spotted by someone on a fishing boat watching an eagle dive-bomb our floating catch through binoculars but... he could have really used this.   

       At some point several decades ago, i remember seeing an idea to put bubbles in children's clothing to protect them if they fell in water accidentally.
nineteenthly, Jun 20 2011

       The only downside to this is that a flotation device in your swimming shorts would hold the lower part of your body above the water, causing your head to be submerged, which would lead to your drowning and certain death.
hippo, Jun 20 2011

       Somehow I am not convinced. Ballon does not seem to strong enough. May be balloons I have seen are of the wrong kind.   

       bun for cool idea.
VJW, Jun 20 2011

       Great idea - and a great story, [2fries]. I'm trying to think of what model variation would be used on a clothing optional beach.
normzone, Jun 20 2011

       Unless you're extremely limber, I suspect you'd have to remove the balloon from the pocket before blowing it up. Or else remove your swimwear, but that might make for a bit of an embarrassing rescue. Either way, you could simply hold on to the balloon after blowing it up.
ytk, Jun 20 2011

       //The only downside to this is that a flotation device in your swimming shorts would hold the lower part of your body above the water....   

       you misunderstood ... you take out the balloon before inflating it. After it's inflated you simply hold on to it with your hands.
ixnaum, Jun 21 2011

       //I'm trying to think of what model variation would be used on a clothing optional beach.   

       I wouldn't recommend holding it in your mouth though, because you might swallow it. Fortunately, everyone has at least one pocket when nude. The fairer sex has two.
notmarkflynn, Jun 21 2011

       As a sinker I endorse this product.
simonj, Jun 21 2011

       Bun for making people strip or die
Voice, Jun 21 2011

       Overheard at a clothing optional beach:   

       First lifeguard: "Go ahead, rescue him".   

       Second lifeguard: "No, you go. I'm not gonna rescue that guy, he's got a balloon".
normzone, Jun 21 2011

       This is currently in product: safe which would really be a worse than nothing flotation device. Safes are hard to conceal in your budgie smugglers, it's even harder to persuade one to float.
English Bob, Jun 21 2011

       Partying in the middle of sea with balloons.
VJW, Jun 21 2011

       //This is currently in product: safe   

ixnaum, Jun 21 2011

       //better than nothing // Suggest you run that by Marketing before you put it into production.
mouseposture, Jun 21 2011

       [marked-for-tagline] //not ideal but better than nothing//   

       "...How do I bun thee; let me count the ways... <<<POP>>> ...uh, this may have to wait..." [+]
Grogster, Jun 22 2011

       Instead of a balloon concealed in a pocket, how about the swimming trunks are made from double layer latex. In effect, a similar construction to an arm-band. Whip off and inflate the whole thing.
Ling, Jun 22 2011

       //Whip off and inflate the whole thing.// You may or may not want to explain that more clearly.
FlyingToaster, Jun 22 2011

       No further explanation required.   

       Best design; two balloons and a length of baler twine.   

       Extremely cheap. Extremely simple. Very compact.
8th of 7, Jun 24 2011

       - applied as a potato sized item, in a pair, of Speedo's, either at the front, or even not as to so, at the rear, a simple device iss found,,..   

       yielding both a potent look of recoil, and general laughter,, :_PPP,, s.
sirau, Jun 25 2011


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