Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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drive by curtains

moths? no dear, gang bangers
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Moths eating curtains are an unfortunate part of low income existence. To avoid embarrassment when neighbours or parole officers drop by - the drive by curtain kit is a handy way to change the subject and move onto more serious matters in your neighbourhood. It contains a large drill bit (in a small plastic carry bag - with comprehensive instructions) - which can be drilled (or hammered if such appliances are absent) into your opposing window wall to give the feel of an actual bullet riddled surface. A pair of scissors or the same packaged drill bit can also be used to punch additional holes into the curtains to give a consistent machine gun aesthetic alongside the moth eaten sections.

For added sympathy, drill a hole into the forehead of a framed picture of Jesus or a family photo discreetly placed on the wall above one of your children's cots.

benfrost, Dec 10 2004

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       There should be bullet hole decals to apply on your windows opposite the moth holes included in the kit to complete the presentation.
jurist, Dec 10 2004
  

       I thought this idea would be for bulletproof blinds.
Worldgineer, Dec 10 2004
  

       Loved the "added sympathy" segment.
Machiavelli, Dec 10 2004
  

       Just have a smoking Fruishi Gatling gun sitting in the kitchen.
mensmaximus, Dec 10 2004
  

       What, no bullet-riddled moth?
FarmerJohn, Dec 10 2004
  

       Another good one from benfrost. Now just please clarify on the content of the "comprehensive instructions"?
sophocles, Dec 10 2004
  
      
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