Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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extreme banisters (experimental phase)

“…look mum, no teeth”
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(+6, -1)
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sliding down the banisters has never been such fun.

please notice the title; this is the experimental phase and so some adjustments might be necessary.

I envisage something along the lines of those dry practise ski slopes with a long line of your traditional banister (you know, hard smooth wooden rail and wooden uprights every six inches). I am estimating something along the lines of a length covering several hundred yards and perhaps set at a 45 degree angle. (yep, just checked my stairs and that seems about right)

this extreme banister will be about four feet high and have undulating curves. no safety net of course. there will be biggish gaps in the wood at places – this might necessitate the angle of descent being ever so slightly steeper at these points.

cushions are forbidden for health & safety reasons. no special clothing is required, and in fact you might like to try it without…oh, never mind.

Oh, yes – and for god’s sake leap off at the bottom before you hit the finial.

po, Apr 29 2003

Ah. I was hoping this would have something to do with Minnie Bannister http://www.telegoon...ss Minnie Bannister
Maybe it does. [DrCurry, Oct 05 2004]


       bannister-burnies ouch
peter2, Apr 29 2003

       // several hundred yards and perhaps set at a 45 degree angle //   

       Frictional heating effects...... acceleration....... F = m * g * Sin Theta ...... EEEEWWwwwwwww .....
8th of 7, Apr 29 2003

       Sounds to me like something for a skate park ('cept for the wood part). But, I would like the idea of actually building a banner or staircase with an integral playground type slide. I'd use that almost exclusively. Probably not pretty, but fun.
half, Apr 29 2003

       One croissant for best use of the word "finial" in an idea.

I would suggest that banistors (people who slide down the banisters, of course the people who are ridden down the banister by someone else would be the banistees) be allowed the use of some sort of boundary substance such as wax paper or Teflon sheets. Gloves and helmets optional.
ato_de, Apr 29 2003

       thanks for that, ato. like I say its in the experimental stage and I can use all the help I can get.
po, Apr 29 2003

       [po] don't start being nice to me now! I don't think I can handle it. {8^0
ato_de, Apr 29 2003

       People who slide down banisters (and perhaps, who like making coffee) should be called bannistas.
[po] There should be a team event - where four people go down together, like a bobsleigh team.
hippo, Apr 29 2003

       well if youre going to have a custom made extreme banister then why put a finial on it?   

       to mak it more extreme how about a death-defying 6-foot drop to a second banister over a spike pit? grease it? put crocodiles at the bottom? the possibilities are endless!
ninjafishcake, Apr 29 2003

       A giant hill with Loop-de-loops.
RayfordSteele, Apr 29 2003

       //why put a finial on it?// are you quite mad? it wouldn't be a banister without a finial. banister sliding is a finial art you know.
po, Apr 29 2003

       Kinda baked by those "extreme" skateboarders, who love to engage in public areas with appropriate sets of steps.
krelnik, Apr 29 2003

       before I comment, I need to know if the banister sliders are (A) on their bellies, bum first, legs astraddle OR (B) sitting on bums, side saddle and upright a la the naked chef?
lintkeeper2, Apr 29 2003

       The bannisters at our college are to full of friction to make sliding possible :( This annoys me greatly as some of them are quite cool looking.
kaz, Apr 29 2003

       Use a tray.
DrCurry, Apr 29 2003

       //and in fact you might like to try it without…//

Hummm, running the calculations for a 100 yd vertical drop, assuming that most of the potential energy of your average 150 lb college imbecile goes into raising the temperature of the outer Πinch of his bum, I get 115 BTUs of heat going into .65 pounds of bum, thus raising the temperature of his lower region by 178 degrees F. In other words, his ass is fried.
pluterday, Apr 29 2003

       """ F I R E I N T H E H O L E ! ! ! """
peter2, Apr 30 2003

       in my grade school, the bannister was supplimented by two handrails, one each at the appropriate height for the so called "little kids" (kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grades) and the "big kids" (3rd, 4th and 5th grades) an important rite of passage was to be also to sit on the big kids handrail, assuming the sidesaddle posture, sling your arm over the top bannister, elbow pointed down and bent so your hand is up hear your head, and slide down a flight of stairs.   

       the more accomplished kids were able to take a flying leap off the end and sail through a doorway, usually into a teacher resulting in a firm scolding.   

       i'd like to see bannisters like that...
urbanmatador, Apr 30 2003

       And of course you'd have to include an escalator's going-up handrail (more friction) and going-down handrail (more speed).
FarmerJohn, Apr 30 2003

       I've seen these kinda baked in a salt mine in austria (sounds wierd i know). The miners use them to get from the higher levels to the lower ones and wear a leather pad on their bum to reduce seat sizzle.
squeak, Apr 30 2003

       squeak, do you mean in Hallstatt? I've been there too! One of my favorite places (Hallstatt, that is, not the mine).
beauxeault, Apr 30 2003

       You are quite mad, po - ever considered help? counselling?
The Kat, May 01 2003

       one question: who's riding this?   

       after reading all the current responces, i've figured that it would be quite fun (exept the drop [ninjafishcake] sujjested). but do you expect parents would let kids ride this too? especially with the finial at the end.
tustin, Sep 11 2003

       <indignant> this is not for children, its an extreme sport </indignant>
po, Sep 15 2003

       Define children! Even grown-ups need an essence of childishness inside them, to want to do this!
silverstormer, Sep 15 2003

       its too dangerous for children. over 14's probably.
po, Sep 15 2003

       Ok, but i'm getting an auto-retracting finial.
silverstormer, Sep 15 2003

po, Sep 15 2003

       sissy with a c - extreme sissy!   

       = big girl's blouse.
po, Sep 15 2003

       OK, so I can appreciate that most bannisters have finials, but wouldn't it be a good idea to have a ski-jump bend at the bottom? For that extra bit of extreme cool.   

       Just imagine this on an extreme sports TV show (probably with a name like '!Polished'). Of course you're going need slow-motion filming of people flying overhead in a seated position. Some of them might rotate slowly in a horizontal or vertical axis, before achieving a running 2-point landing.   

       Of course I'm assuming most of the potential energy is converted into kinetic energy rather than heat.
Loris, Sep 16 2003

       I'm with [half] on this. It sounds a whole lot like a grinding rail at a skatepark or boardpark. The only difference is that there's no board? You're only using your feet?
ghillie, Feb 18 2004

po, Feb 18 2004

       Oh. Duh. Okay, my brother does this down our stairway hand rail, 'cept backwards, so you can only guess where he's hurting...
ghillie, Feb 18 2004

       You would definately need some sort of "protection" especially if going down straddling the bannister.
discontinuuity, Jul 14 2005

       Thought this was going to be an idea for running very sub-four minute miles.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 14 2005


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