h a l f b a k e r y
This ain't rocket surgery.
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Face exercises are not new (see www.facercise.com) but
are pedantic and demand a tedious regime. The
is fun and activity based. When you open the kit you are
confronted by a series of numbered boxes each of which
contains a separate item or task which will illicite
expression calculated to sequentially exercise every single
The first of these are the instructions themselves, which
tiny, causing you to squint your eyes and furrow your brow.
These are followed by
the manipulation and assemblage of an intricate set of
components, causing the muscles to be set on
mode and the tongue to protrude and move around
subconsciously. There are fine needles to be threaded with
hairy thread, and fiddly springs to be compressed and
that suddenly leap free and shoot across the room.
Then there are various odours to sniff leading to
neck twisting and head jerking. These are accompanied by
alternating images of humour, horror and conundrums,
expressions of fear, laughter and the look of quizzical
incomprehension. Penultimately there is "the nut to undo".
This leads to a horrible contortion of the whole face as you
set about trying desperately to release a captive nut, frozen
into position with rust - and finally there is "The Scream" as
the nut suddenly and unexpectedly frees itself, causing
unprotected knuckles to be skinned against an upright
||As long as you don't fall in with the wrong crowd and start abusing stare-oids.
||Are these exercises at all necessary?
||bristolz - necessary ? - that depends on how important it
is for you to keep a straight face. I have trained my face
to assume an asymmetrical guise at will, turning a
grimacing right hand side to an enemy, whilst
simultaneously retaining the calmness of a sleeping rabbit
on the left for everyone else.
||i am inspired to begin my training. will start with pingpong ball face keepy-upy using tongue, nose and cheeks; adding ears and eyelashes as i progress.