Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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helter skelter buses

tall buses as opposed to big-take-up-all-the-road buses: slide rules OK
  (+12, -2)(+12, -2)
(+12, -2)
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I propose 75 foot buses in a traditional helter skelter shape i.e. upside down ice cream cone. The passenger climbs his/her way up to the top of the bus and then descends by way of a slippery slide at their destination. Ringing a bell at the top to alert the driver that he/she is about to disembark. For short trips passengers would need to go straight to the top. For longer journeys, customers could take a seat (which are at all levels on the ascent) and a rest, as and when they wished. Portholes would allow people to assess how slowly or quickly they needed to proceed because tardy passengers would almost certainly be booed and heckled and sworn at.

Possible variations could include the possible powering of the bus itself by the energy expended climbing the stairs or the heat generated by bottoms on the slide on the way down. Mats are optional but MUST be returned by throwing them in a window at the bottom of the bus before leaving. Smoking, eating and drinking are not allowed anywhere on the bus. Please mind the gap.

po, May 08 2002

for my dear friend Ray. helter-skelter http://www.melright.com/steam/helter.jpg
we do seem to have a language barrier. eh oh time for tubby bye bye [po, May 12 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

a slide to exit - possibly a ladder to enter - what fun! http://uk.cars.yaho...e-bus-tunnel-0.html
[po, Aug 05 2010]


       Yay! Anything that involves novelty public transport access gets my croissant.
stupop, May 08 2002

       This is clearly the best idea anyone has ever had. *huge applause*
Saveloy, May 08 2002

       Let's not get carried away here...
stupop, May 08 2002

       super! I thought you meant cone standing on its thin end, requiring three or four stabiliser legs with wheels. This arrangement would mean that there would be lots of space to site on the top deck (open air of course) and the slide would be on the inside, and you get faster and a tighter spin as you get near the bottom. There shouldn't be a need to go all the way to the top to join the slide - wouldn't it be more fun to jump on regardless of whether there was someone sliding towards you?!
but then I read the first part properly and realised that it's cone standing on its fat end. Now, that's just as good but wouldn't it take up an awful lot of road space? With the narrow end at the bottom you would get going so fast as you disembarked, that you would be spat out of the funnel bottom so you were sure to reach the side of the road safely. (I respectfully ask if bristolz would like to draw this, complete with spindly stabiliser legs which some cars and all cyclists (me!) can overtake through)
sappho, May 08 2002

       Can we have it so that the thing rotates as it goes along and plays tinkly ice-cream van music? "We're all going on a summer holiday" would be nice.   

       I think cars and vans should be scaled down versions of this. No doors; driver and passengers exit through a hole in the top and take a short slide down. To enter they have to jump into the hole from a trampoline.   

       One negative aspect of the helter-skelter bus - not very wheelchair / pushchair / crutches friendly, is it?
Saveloy, May 08 2002

       75 feet high?
waugsqueke, May 08 2002

       taller? waugs. I did ponder that.
po, May 08 2002

       It might have difficulty negotiating such urban obstacles as streetlights, telegraph wires and bridges. Unless of course it ran on a special track which was in a 50ft deep trench.
stupop, May 09 2002

       We'll just have to rebuild cities to acommodate them, stupop. You know, I can't help thinking this is probably what the guy who invented the Segway *really* had in mind.
Saveloy, May 09 2002


       Just for fun, could it have Inspector Gadget style lifters to raise it even higher up?
Pseudonym #3, May 10 2002

       The helter-skelter could rotate, allowing it to achieve anti-gravity lift according to the brilliant inventions of our friend abhi.
pottedstu, May 10 2002

       What's a helter-skelter, for us Americanos?
RayfordSteele, May 12 2002

       linky, just for you dear,( I laughed when I saw this pop up again.) which part of the states are you in? my S. Dakota friend understands most of what I say.
po, May 12 2002

       Near Mo-town, Michigan.
RayfordSteele, May 12 2002

       Count me among the great unwashed, I guess...Until now, I always associated "helter-skelter" with "Three Blind Mice", the Beatles, and Charles Manson, probably in reverse order due to location. Now, thanks to po, I find out it's just a big windwill without the sails?...More proof of Churchill's observation that the greatest obstacle to English and American communication is a common language.
jurist, May 13 2002

       there's an American flag on that Helter-Skelter in the link, jurist.
po, May 13 2002

       I didn't overlook the American flags in the photo you provided, po...I just failed to see the signs that identified the structure as a "helter-skelter", instead of "converted windmill" or "Hans Arp Salt-Shaker-Shelter With Helical Slide Sculpture Installation".
jurist, May 13 2002

       I think you are re-inventing my bus M. The idea is that you get off the bus at the end of the slide. possibly in an ungainly heap on the pavement. your fluffy (pink please) slippers are nice though.
po, May 13 2002

       This is the first time I have ever seen this idea. I apologize for not responding to your request [sappho]. I probably would have drawn it.
bristolz, May 04 2003


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