h a l f b a k e r y
Number one on the no-fly list
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Each taxi is a repurposed ambulance .
Patrons pay extra for EMT type loading and unloading handling.
Additional fees are charged for actual or pretend medical treatments.
Patrons pay an additional fee for activated flashing lights or sirens.
||More people are killed by taxis every year...
||That's potentially a lot more EMT trained drivers. On second thought, excellent idea.
||Here's an idea: use ambulances as taxis when they
aren't needed for emergencies, and the crew isn't
doing Ambulance maintenance tasks. Per this
idea, maybe passengers who pay extra can lie
down in the back etc. Most of the time the
passenger would just ride in one of the seats. In
the event of a medical emergency nearby, the
passenger sits tight until they arrive at the
emergency. They don't pay for that ride and get a
small monetary compensation (or the regular fare
is slightly cheaper since there's a chance that they
will be delayed). They have the option of riding to
the hospital since they may prefer to wait for a
new taxi there than in the neighborhood where
the emergency was.
||If there are enough EMTs and ambulances to
almost always have one available when someone
has an emergency, then the EMTs will have a lot of
down time. By using them as taxis, their time is
better utilized, making ambulance service
cheaper. Currently it seems to be common
practice to have an EMT on for a 24 hour shift in
which time they normally sleep unless woken up
for an emergency. By doing taxi work in between,
this would enable EMTs to work more normal shifts
and reduce the possibility of getting no sleep on a
shift if there are too many emergencies. That
might reduce burnout which is a problem with
||Both Taxis drivers and EMTs need to know the
streets really well, so that works well.
||There will be more wear and tear on the
ambulance, but that can be managed with proper
maintenance and rebuild schedules.
||Apparently there is a problem with people abusing
ambulances for non-emergency purposes. Some of
these are because someone is lonely. While one
solution suggested was to start a business
dispatching people to talk to lonely people, the
lonely people might not expect such a service to
have high quality people to talk to. On the other
hand, grandma expects that an EMT will be a good
and interesting person to talk to. If the EMTs
worked as taxi drivers, a person who might
previously have abused 911 calls can now call a
taxi, request to wait for the next available
ambulance, and pay a reasonable taxi fare while
chatting with them on the front porch or getting a
ride to the grocery store. And such a person
shouldn't mind the fact that these nice EMTs
might have to leave in a hurry in case of an actual
||Scad you're right on track
||"Can I get a taxi please, Bellfield road down to the
||"We'd love to, but 2 of the cabs have engine warning
lights on and the other just sits there with its hazard
warning lights flashing"
||"huh, don't you repair them"
||"took 'em all to the garage last week mate, they're ok for
a day after a full service then it all starts again... I think
they just like mechanics"
||A better hypochondriac taxi would have a sterile needle poking out from a crack in the back seat, so the then hypochondria induced person will have to be taken to the hospital by the driver who will only answer "i think that's how so and so died".
||Suggestion: Flashing lights and sirens are illegal in a
nonemergency service. To avoid paying exorbitant bribes
the sound can be played on internal speakers transformed
to sound as if coming from outside. LED's can be used
internally to the same effect.
||Speaking of needles could a saline drip (with artificial color)
be classified as acupuncture?