Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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jubilate socco

For I Will Consider a Sock Separator
(+2, -2)
  [vote for,

For I will consider a sock separator.

For socks are useful and warm and a sign of the love of the creator.

For they are lovely when mated together and nestled beside the cedar Turtle.

For this is accomplished only through diligence of mind and execution of purpose.

For their separation can be easily achieved by few steps.

For first they are to be placed properly in the hamper.

For secondly they are flung, and not placed properly.

For thirdly a child pulls her dress from the basket, though it is dirty.

For fourthly she considers the dress and does not attend to the orphan on the floor.

For fifthly Orangey finds pleasure in grey socks and takes it to his paper bag.

For sixthly the sock ceases movement and Orangey goes in search of praise for his kill.

For seventhly he is distracted by a patch of sunlight.

For eighthly the praise of the sun upon his fur is a sign of the love of the creator and he sleeps in worship.

For ninthly his bag is discarded when the mother cleans in a flurry.

For tenthly the sock will be buried in clay by Tuesday.

For diligence of mind is a gift given to our brothers in varying degrees and often in smaller proportion than that given to our sisters.

For diligence of mind is a pattern, and execution of purpose is adherence to this pattern.

For some patterns are habits, and automatically adhered to.

For the creator has blessed some with fresh, bright ways that they use to keep their socks together.

For they feel their unnecessary separation keenly.

For when they take them off, they are placed in a hamper together.

For their children do the same.

For their children's souls are the geometric flowers of their own rigid and happy souls.

For their children's habits are supple and happy.

For order is the proper proximity of parts, like the staccato xylophone of their cradle songs.

For their socks will there remain undisturbed until washed, because soil is disorder, and must be tolerated only until it can be addressed.

For order is pleasing in execution and contemplation.

For the wash is done as soon as the hamper is full.

For this is a Rule.

For this Rule is difficult for some to follow.

For the creator has seen that some are given to the creation of new patterns to ensure the health of our ideas.

For order can become stagnant, and cease to create things of value.

For the faculty of creating new patterns is often incompatible with habit.

For this faculty questions all but its own premise, and habit questions nothing but disorder.

For one in many new patterns is useful.

For one in many useful patterns is made into a material thing.

For one in many of these material things results in gain for the creator of the new pattern, who may then employ those with tested and useful habits.

For the rest are lost, and their socks are a strain upon their souls.

For there is hope that the patters of proper sock care and stewardship can be accomplished by a material thing.

For the good habit relies upon the smallest number of decisions and actions based upon sound premises.

For the most useful pattern-made-material relies upon the smallest number of moving parts.

For the decisions of the sock steward are two, and his actions are six.

He must first decide which hamper by color.

He must place the pair in the correct hamper.

He must wash the contents when full.

He must transfer them to the dryer, being careful that orphans do not fall between or behind.

He must transfer them to a hamper that is clean.

He must decide which socks belong with which.

He must match them and fold them together

He must place them in the drawer.

For the matching of socks is the biggest chore.

For the matching of socks would be unnecessary if they remained married throughout the process.

For this may be achieved by a clamp, or pin, or container.

For there is no other way to hold socks together in their tumultuous world.

For a container is the best method.

For clamps cover that which is to be washed, and are liable to failure and loss.

For pins will tear the material for they are thin.

For clamps and pins must be applied by man or machine.

For both methods require man's attention, either to application, or loading for application.

For parts applied by the machine are parts of the machine and therefore contribute to a greater number of parts in the machine, which is inelegant.

For disposable clamps and pins must be replaced and will lead to future costs, and reusable clamps and pins must be reloaded.

For this will add decisions and actions to the process.

For a container can be of many types, and can have separate compartments.

For a cylinder with one end closed is a container.

For such a container can be divided along it's axis, like the divisions of a caramel, butter, and cheese Christmas popcorn tin.

For such a container made from nylon mesh fabric would be washable many times over.

For such a mesh container could be divided into twelve mesh sections for holding twelve pairs of socks.

For this divided container could be placed over a hoop rim such that the container is held open.

For the hoop could be so designed to turn one-twelfth of a revolution a small period of time after a trigger is activated.

For this trigger could be placed in a hopper over the bag and hoop, such that dropping a sock into the hopper will activate the trigger.

For this would turn the bag for the next time a sock is placed in the hopper.

For the object of Orangey's worship may provide the small motive force needed, though it is far away.

For dark socks and light socks should not share the same washing, and there may be one hopper with two spouts and a device to sense color.

For there could be two bags, and a toggle flap could be used to shunt the respective colored pair into the correct mesh bag.

For only that bag will turn because there is a trigger is in each spout.

For the decisions of man employed with this machine are none and the actions of man are five.

For first he must load the bags onto the machine.

For then he must load the machine with socks as need arises.

For then he must place the bag in the washing machine

For then he must place the bag in the dryer.

For then he must place the bag in his drawer.

For the socks can be seen through the mesh of the bag and there is no need to fold them.

For socks wear out and can still be hidden for Orangey to sharpen his skills upon.

nomocrow, Nov 07 2008


       Yes. But sp.: sixthly.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 08 2008

nomocrow, Nov 08 2008


       I don't get this - explanations on a postcard most welcome...
po, Nov 08 2008

       // Buy many pairs of one colour and style of sock. The whole sock sorting issue goes away. // [UnaBubba]   

       Not really! Even if you threw out all the old ones which are a different knit and a slightly different shade, socks fade and shrink. The ones washed more often are lighter. As far as shrinking, put on two socks that appear to match that have been washed a number of times, pull them all the way up and one sock will be shorter or the other longer but they never seem to be the same length. It's annoying if they're off by more than an inch, not enough to search for a length match of course but annoying none the less.   

       That being said I'm heading to the sock draw and making puppets out of the lot of them, the damn annoying bastards that they are. Sorry it's time for my medication.
theGem, Nov 08 2008

       Seeing unfamiliar words in the array of titles making up my favourite "halfbakery recent" view, I did move my mouse pointer on to that pair of words, watched the pointer icon change itself to a hand, and did depress my index finger, feeling that familiar click, and watched as the screen became blank and then became populated with these words so wisely keyboarded by no mo cro w.   

       The ideas contained within those words did cause a chain of reflections to be set into motion within this mind of mine. For, this idea does propose a highly mechanised and labour intensive solution to that age old problem of the disappearing sock and that problem of the orphan sock.   

       For, my nature of looking for items of clothing at the last minute and rescuing "clothes to be washed " from the laundry bag, and the consequent spilling on the floor of sundry other items alongside is a familiar phenomenon, and does strike a chord of resonance within me.   

       The injunction "wash whites separately" is no joke, I can tell you, myself favouring white shirts and an occasional small coloured item thrown in by one of my offspring causing havoc with the lot, and much effort to rescue the situation, and also the wearing of a relatively clean, yet dirty and smelly shirt for yet another day.   

       For, the necessity of having a clean sock, not to mention a clean handkerchief, and all other such items of clothing which are all necessary to the sallying forth from the comfort of the home in the pursuit of the employment which has to put the bread on the table, and also the rice, the chappathy, the fish, the meat and the sundry other items which are necessary for a balanced meal so that ones nutritional needs are met.   

       But then I reflect. Do I really need a multiple-ly divided nylon mesh bag?   

       Do I really need a mechanical device to rotate the said multi-compartmented bag so that an empty receptacle is presented to me each time I approach it to deposit the detritus, as it were, of a successful day of sallying forth among the world?   

       For, I do not have an orangey or a bluey or a blackey or any other colour of cat or any other feline or canine pet, who doth make off with one of my socks, to munch, to play, and eventually to hide it out of sight so that it gets discarded along with the rubbish that gets discarded along with the household waste.   

       For, though I like the soft furred, four pawed creature, which does so lovingly rub itself on one's leg, and doth make purring sounds when scratched gently behind the ears, and the going plumper and then bringing forth of offspring, generally in inaccessible places in the loft, and then the bring them to company, of the little kittens, and their play and consequent little things which all bring joy, which I did enjoy when I was young and lived in a house which had cats.   

       For, now, in my own house, alas, I am not master and my spouse doth dislike felines and canines, and so have forbidden their coexistence with the humans now inhabiting this small patch on earth and the small building thereon which we call our home.   

       For, no cat, so no pet to carry away the lone sock. No dog, neither.   

       Then again, do I ponder. Do I really need a multi partite nylon mesh receptacle which saves its contents from escaping, yet allows the water and detergent to wash the dirt away, all the time keeping the pair together, so that I may don the pair of socks without searching for first one and then the other?   

       For, I do dwell within nine degrees latitude of that imaginary line which doth girdle the earth midway between the poles, so being within that region of earth that is called the tropics, the chief distinguishing feature of which is that the temperature is at best temperate and at worst hot.   

       For, in keeping with the custom of the place, and the comfort of my feet, I do wear, for the most part, open sandals, which have to be gripped with the big toe or they fly forth away from the foot.   

       Consequent to which, the wearing of socks is a distinct impediment to the wearing of such footwear, besides which the custom is to go barefoot indoors, at home anyway.   

       So, no socks, so no need for all this, sorry, nomocrow.
neelandan, Nov 09 2008

       Postcard to [po]; have different washing baskets for different coloured socks, and keep non-matching socks separate in the washing machine by using a compartmentalised nylon mesh cylinder.
pertinax, Nov 09 2008

po, Nov 09 2008

       Always a pleasure, [po].   

       Psst, [nomocrow]; sp. socco (ablative).
pertinax, Nov 11 2008

       For 'tis with the reading of this that the mind is ope'd.   

       For the pleasure of which I shall give thee thy daily bread.
Spacecoyote, Nov 11 2008

       Are we supposed to read all that?
hippo, Nov 11 2008

       Idea summary:   

       //have different washing baskets for different coloured socks, and keep non-matching socks separate in the washing machine by using a compartmentalised nylon mesh cylinder//   

neelandan, Nov 12 2008


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