Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
I heartily endorse this product and/or service.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



my man in a bottle

for when your man cannot be around 24/7 and just a whiff is required.
  [vote for,

there are perfume sites that will concoct a special perfume for you after you complete a lengthy questionnaire: a pleasant addition to this service would be if you could order some scent that matches the aroma of your special guy.

you would of course, have to know a fair bit about him to get a close match.

e.g. his job – an engineer might have a larger percentage of engine oil in his sweatglands than an officeworker

his personal habits – type in: regular bather, non-drinker, 5-a-day smoker, non-drug user except for ********* medication

age, place of birth, mother’s maiden name – heaven knows it might have some relevance.

height, weight and sweat factor (i.e. sweats a lot, sweats on occasion, bone dry) his own favourite perfume/after-shave/whatever

fine-tuning should be available for a poor match.

trained sniffers with possibly a dog in tow can visit his home address and advise as to the reason the consignment fouled up.

n.b. refunds not given if he dumps you.

po, Jan 21 2004

Essence and Alchemy http://print.google...doc?isbn=0865476438
"...Fragrance has the instantaneous and invisible power to penetrate consciousness with pure pleasure. Scent reaches us in ways that elude sight and sound but conjure imagination in all its sensuality..." [Klaatu, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Didn't we do human pheronome perfumes? (I know I did, I just don't recall if I left it here.
DrCurry, Jan 21 2004

       Will I be charged for any "extra leather" scent?
Letsbuildafort, Jan 21 2004

       DC,is that one of yours? sorry! this is a whole package not just furry things...   

       thanks, Fort. yep! .00001% leather
po, Jan 21 2004

       [po] a man would have to be crazy to dump you. ;)
Would a dirty t-shirt in a plastic bag work?
Klaatu, Jan 21 2004

       I use men's shaving gel for my legs. It makes a safe and inexpensive man-substitute. It's also a lot less demanding. +
k_sra, Jan 21 2004

       //I use men's shaving gel for my legs.// I do too, it works really well. ;)   

       I used to make jokes that I wanted to bottle the smell of my boyfriend, now my husband, because he smells so good. My baby even likes it. If she is fussy I can wrap her in one of daddy's worn work shirts so it smells like him and she calms down. It is very therepeutic for both of us. :)
babyhawk, Jan 21 2004

       Awww, [BH]. Ain't that sweet. My fella smells lovely too. Kinda like a comfy t-shirt and chocolate and wood. Mmmmmm.
squeak, Jan 21 2004

       mine is Old Spice deoderant, laudry detergent, and gel. All that with his body chemistry is heaven to me. Add it onto his leather jacket and it's even better. ;)   

       The only thing better then the way he smells is the way he hugs. He has a way of hugging where he holds you tight enough to make you feel wanted but not too tight and then he will breath in deeply while moving his fingers slightly to give you those great little shivers all over. heeheehee......sorry, I got carried away. *blushes*
babyhawk, Jan 21 2004

       well, I am not a beer drinking girl, I just like my liquer. Chocolate liquer is really good. :)   

       and what pray-tell is "a curry" ?
babyhawk, Jan 21 2004

       whoa, was that english?? I am confused. :)
babyhawk, Jan 21 2004

       Eight pints and a vindaloo. Heaven help us. I've been there and he didn't smell very nice... <frowns>
k_sra, Jan 21 2004

       who was that, k_sra? and Klaatu, quite possibly...
po, Jan 21 2004

       No one you know...
k_sra, Jan 21 2004

       what was half saying??   

       saved it for evidence!
po, Jan 21 2004

       Eight pints and a vindaloo as a bottled man-smell might be better than the real thing, especially the next morning.
lintkeeper2, Jan 21 2004

       Humor, [po]. Just humor. I wouldn't have one pint and I don't know what a vindaloo is.
half, Jan 21 2004

       ask DrCurry!
po, Jan 22 2004

       I'm for it. My big nose picks up on lots of small details so maybe this is a job option. Though I've gotta say, smelling even good smelling men is not my idea of a great day at the office.   

       "How was work?"   

       " It stank."   


       "Yes, again."   

       A few years ago I heard an interview with a smell researcher who did a gigantic study with smell sets and response cards sent out to National Geographic readers (if i recall correctly) and there were some sweaty man smells that got very strong responses. So explicit that they were unable to, in a National Geographic rated PG way, discuss those responses.   

       There are some weird substitutes that MAY do in the meantime while the industry develops this importantt service for you [po] et. al. Paste butchers wax. the lubricant WD-40. Some pipe tobaccos (not burning)
DadManWalking, Jan 22 2004

       wait , wait , wait your saying you want a bottle of man funk to keep around the house for personal use ? man that's crazy or at least really nasty
slapdash loser, Jan 22 2004

       i had an idea like this that i just remembered but i forgot to post. hmm only it was about harnassing a women's snect instead of a mans. maybe thats becuase id rather smell a women then a man...
Space-Pope, Jan 22 2004

       I must confess to shaving my hairy, hairy face with Boots own brand ladies' leg shaving foam, on those occasions when I'm being a dirty stopout. And using Dove anti-perspirant.
calum, Jan 22 2004

       sometimes you just want/need to feel the *presence* of your significant other ..
po, Jan 22 2004

       True indeed but I'm not sure a synthetic fragrance can replicate the secret thrill of picking up a worn item of your significant other's clothing, holding it gently against your face, closing your eyes, breathing in and imagining they're with you.
calum, Jan 22 2004

       I know what you mean! baking that as we speak! <br eathe softly.........
po, Jan 22 2004

       This idea is bringing out everyones femanin side.Just keep a bottle of his aftershave open.Porblem solved.
python, Jan 22 2004

       Scent is a powerful method for bringing memories to the forefront.<link>   

       If I smell any bleach, it instantly transports me to a bad place and I avoid it at all cost. I worked in grief counseling and one of my clients, whose husband had died, made a pillow out of his dirty clothes. She swore that it helped her sleep at night after his death. I would imagine that if the scent of a beloved spouse could be synthesized, that there would be a huge market for this product in easing the loss of a loved one.
Klaatu, Jan 22 2004

       thats a sweet thought, K...
po, Jan 23 2004

       When I return home from being away a couple of days I always notice that my wife's teddy-bear smells of my aftershave. Now I understand why. Hope he's not trying to usurp my position with his cute-faced furry charms!
dobtabulous, Jan 23 2004

       Your wife has a teddy-bear?
k_sra, Jan 23 2004

       just voted for myself! I liked this one.
po, Oct 04 2004

       Could you do a "New man smell", a bit like "New car smell"?
wagster, Oct 04 2004

       Scents can definately transport a person to another time or place through the force of memory.These memories can,unfortunately,be both good and bad. A girlfriend at one time requested that I leave one of my shirts with her before I left on a trip.I remember her being a bit upset when I brought her a freshly cleaned shirt. I know that when I smell a certain body oil scent (I do not know the name of the oil) , I am transported to another time-a happier time in my life.I wish that I could find that oil to have around all of the time. On the flip side , my ex-wife used to wear a Rose scented body oil from time to time.When I was a young boy I had an old lady for a baby-sitter who also wore Rose scented perfume/oil.Whenever my girl wore that scent,I was reminded of that nasty old lady...Uhhghh!!
kingwuz, Oct 23 2006

       Po, make this into a spray. Then guys can walk around "marking territory" like the dogs we are.
Chefboyrbored, Oct 23 2006

       It may be easier to transform your man's particular scent into something that can be easily duplicated. For instance, purchase for him the full line of Brut personal care products. Or liberally lace his food with toasted cumin.
bungston, Oct 23 2006

       not one? I have 2 but one is married and the other has disappeared :)
po, Oct 07 2009

       so we take one of life's beautiful mysteries, pondered by poets, studied by innumerable scientists, and the motivation for literally thousands of worthless products and this is all we have to say?   

       If you can capture the essence of your lover by mixing commercial perfumes then I pity you greatly. Humans are naturally endeared to the smell of other humans. It is not natural or healthy to obviate the human scent entirely.   

       I think that it is also clear that the impact of local human scents must be very short lived, even a sweaty piece of cloth has lost most of the real impact after a few days. This is going to be very tricky to bottle.
WcW, Oct 07 2009


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle