Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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push-me-pull-you multiway bra

dual purpose bra for the bum and breasts
  (+4, -8)
(+4, -8)
  [vote for,

Okay, so the name needs working on but the idea is that you have elastic/cord things attached to stick on webbing. The webbing is stuck around the breast in a suitably supportive manner, the cords are then put over the shoulders and are joined to similar webbing on the buttocks. The tension between the breasts and bum has the effect of at once lifting the breasts and keeping the bum pert. Possibility of having this sugically placed under the skin so that no-one need ever know that you have a saggy arse and tits that rest on your tummy!
Miss Weston Smith, Sep 04 2001

Father, his estranged g/f, myself - a few others http://art.dahm.com...nHell/beginners.gif
I'm halfway down, on the right [thumbwax, Sep 04 2001, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       what if your bum is weightier than the breasts? i can see back flipping women as i drive down the street.
benfrost, Sep 04 2001

       good point, I suppose it shouldn't be used when running or on a bouncy castle either, or you would be in a mess.
Miss Weston Smith, Sep 04 2001

       <grin> //silently thanking the gods of random genetics for my body// <snicker>
Susen, Sep 04 2001

       Yeah, me too.
Jim, Sep 04 2001

       This design has been created from sympathy not neccessity.
Miss Weston Smith, Sep 04 2001

       Yah, Miss Weston Smith, tell it to the Marines. For guys, the Perfect Balance Cummerbund lifts that Guiness belly whilst also raising the rotund behind, although the combined weight of these flabberous bits pulling downward makes us resemble Quasimodo about the shoulders...Oh damn, perhaps helium-filled implants are needed.
Dog Ed, Sep 05 2001

       But what about the curvature of the back? The straps would go straight down from the shoulders and the skin-tight shirts that are popular, and most probably being worn by the people that are wanting this, would show every fiber of the strap. What if the bra's clasp had some more webbing, or some rings, so that the strap could attach back there too? It wouldn't fix the problem, but it would help some.
barnzenen, Sep 05 2001

       UnaBubba: you'd have to have pretty bad tyres to look like a Shai Pei and I don't think that even the push-me-pull-you multiway bra can help people with that problem. The problem of VCL (visible cord line) would have to be sorted out probably resulting in some hideous thong like contraption. Having a webbing belt that holds the cords (and a flabby tummy) in would also work but then you're going into the territory of full-on corsets.
Miss Weston Smith, Sep 05 2001

       I'm working on the under-skin model here:
Front is bra-shaped. Sports-bra tpe of engineering.
The shoulder straps are wide, therefore spreading weight. The left strap crosses quite close to the neck and crosses the back to reappear at your waist on the right. (The right strap does the symmetrical same).
Now it looks like a conventional multiway bra, which would clip together at your tummy. But this one continues round to support your glutes, with a clasping hand type shape, again in wide straps to maximise spread of force.
No VCL. Pert everything.

Add in a remote mechanism to tighten the under-skin straps ever so slightly, raising boobs/arse at the touch of a button, and I'll be buying one.
Great flirtation technique, that is - imperceptibly (ok, really obviously, when drunk) stick tits out just a little more.
lewisgirl, Sep 06 2001

       What happens when you sit down or bend over?
serendipity, Sep 06 2001

       You'd smother yourself with your breasts were it not for the fact your hemorrhoids would make direct contact with the tucked and rolled button on the sofa resulting in a reflex jump which grabs the fine crystal stemware between pert and perky up there.
Champagne anyone?
thumbwax, Sep 07 2001

       I've known a couple of schoolmates who opted for breast reduction at a relatively young age - their lives were one long stare - as they were genuinely overendowed - both women were and likely remain glad they did the surgery. I do agree with Mephista in principle, but some cases require extreme measures in terms of surgical alteration. It is quite narrow minded of some men to be so ga-ga over breasts - likely because they still have memories of only having "ga-ga" in their vocabularies.
thumbwax, Sep 07 2001

       Being an ugly bloke, I've never quite understood this 'not wanting to be looked at' thing. If women stared at me every time I walked into the room (as opposed to vomiting as they do now) I'd be really pleased. Well, let's be honest, totally insufferable in actual fact.
DrBob, Sep 07 2001

       <LionelRitchie<>You aaaaaaaaaaaaaare so beautiful to meeeeee</LionelRitchie>

I empathize with you Doc.
"Hey, wow - isn't that DrBob?"
"squeeeeeal" (Not the sound of tires [tyres] - but women)
Regarding buxomness, when a woman is having a conversation, she would like to have some eye contact. I wear a hearing aid on right ear - I also wear my hair long. Reason being, in my head - there is a voice saying 'Quit starin' at my ear' as someone with whom I may have been conversing prior to their discovery of said device tends to o-v-e-r e-n-u-n-c-i-a-t-e, so on and so forth. Either that, or puts forcefield on 'avoid' genetic mistake. We sexes tend to look at each other in the reproductive - productive sense - apparently males may think a fully stacked female may provide enough milk for the entire family without the male having to do so much of that annoying hunter-gatherer bit.
thumbwax, Sep 07 2001

       <smile> I like the scenario, thumbwax...(drifts off into fantasy world)...
DrBob, Sep 08 2001

       One of the reasons I joined the 1/2B was due to the wonderful sense of humour displayed by all who lurk here. Once again I have found something to make me laugh till I cried, and to quote Charles Emerson Winchester III "you saved me. You reached down into the depths of my despair and pulled me up into the light. Thank you"   

       Bless each and every one of you silly, silly people. You make the most rotten day liveable (if that's a word).
Canuck, Sep 08 2001

       Another one - muahahaha
I have taken the liberty of posting a scan of yours truly
thumbwax, Sep 09 2001

halfmanhalfcookie, Apr 24 2002

       What a wunnerful nickname you have, [halfmanhalfcookie].
bristolz, Apr 25 2002

waugsqueke, Apr 25 2002

       {harp1369]: Cool it on the bra fixation. It's getting a little trollish.
bristolz, Apr 27 2002

       Okay, i see your point. thanks for pointing out my odd behavior. I'll stop being trollish.
harp1369, Apr 27 2002

bristolz, Apr 27 2002

       thx [bristolz], i gave my best, just the half.
halfmanhalfcookie, Apr 28 2002

       come on. Its a great idea.
Snafu, Apr 15 2003


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