Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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shrinking field

field shrinks, sheep rounded up
  (+14, -4)(+14, -4)
(+14, -4)
  [vote for,

We are all only too aware of the problems faced by the poor farmer who on 'market day' realises:"theres 150 head of fluff out in that there field boy, markets 70 mile away and in these parts she gets dark at 3pm". The old eejit has little enough time on his hands without having to run about herding up 150 head of stock. So what you need is a field with slipknot style fencing. On market day, old farmer joe pulls the lever on this yoak, setting in motion a massive sheep collecting unit. The restrictable fence contracts inwardly until the sheep are herded into one manageable unit. Back up the old lorry, 'yah yah yah' the herd into the back of her and rrmrrrmmm off to market.

Meanwhile, fence is re-molding itself to its former size and voila, ready for the old boy when he comes back from market with his 100 head of cattle. easy peasy japanisee

garlic twins, Nov 09 2001

The 'intelligent' side of sheep http://news.bbc.co....1643000/1643842.stm
[angel, Nov 09 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

get a ram http://www.sheepgame.co.uk/
game with sheep [po, Nov 09 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       Yes. Perfectly fine. (Not sure about 'public: welfare' though.)
angel, Nov 09 2001

       You'd have the sheepdog trade union hacking your fence to bits with wirecutters. Otherwise, good idea.
pottedstu, Nov 09 2001

       Don't know which I like best, the idea or the phrase "theres 150 head of fluff out in that there field boy".
stupop, Nov 09 2001

       sheep bungies
hippo, Nov 09 2001

       What's fourth, Waugs?
bristolz, Nov 09 2001

phoenix, Nov 09 2001

       So where does a plytapus and penguin fit in?
barnzenen, Nov 09 2001

       Monkeys are always funny. I don't think ducks are that hilarious myself. Swans are great in a "Queen Victoria telling a fart joke" kind of way. (Sorry to get so off-topic, but this idea is so formally perfect, no annotation is needed.)
pottedstu, Nov 09 2001

       I don't mean to break up the butt-slapping good time, but how would such a system work without getting snagged up on every little thing on the countryside? How would it reel in? How would it be re-deployed?   

       Maybe this idea should be pondered a little longer... it's not even batter yet.
seal10, Nov 09 2001

       Is this better than the 'look at the herd through binoculars from the wrong end and pick the sheep up with tongs and put them in the truck' method?
[edited as per pottedstu's rightful comment below]
bristolz, Nov 09 2001

       [bristolz]: No one said it was better. In fact you could have something there.
pottedstu, Nov 09 2001

       I'm with seal10 on this. The problem has been identified & an approach to the solution offered, but more technical details are required before this student can be awarded a pass grade.
DrBob, Nov 10 2001

       I still don't see how this could be an improvement on sheepdogs. Imagine the weight behind it if they didn't come willingly. Nothing like a bite on the butt to get them moving.
Helium, Nov 10 2001

       Do you realise how high sheep can jump? I unwisely offered the sheep next door a little 'treat' of rolled corn that I put out for the deer and wild turkeys, and all of a sudden I had several new sheep buddies on my side of my barbed wire topped range fence. On the other hand, they *are* abominably stupid, so the bungie fence would probably work, but if you just thew some corn in the truck they'd probably jump in on their own, anyway.
Oolahboolah, Nov 11 2001

       //abominably stupid//   

       I take "a fence" to that.
Helium, Nov 11 2001

       Wish *I* could take "a fence", but if I took "a fence" there would be nothing left to keep the little sheepies out of my yard, and then I'd have to eat mutton, and spin wool!
Oolahboolah, Nov 11 2001

       I just read somewhere (link) that sheep are far more intelligent than is generally thought, and can recognize their fifty best friends in the flock.
angel, Nov 12 2001

       Given the falling price of laminate flooring simply construct a platform to the size of your field. Then on market day raise the opposite end thus causing your sheep to slide toward your transport.   

       Would also be good for sheep bowling nights.
autopilot, Nov 12 2001

       I want to go sheep bowling! Does that make me a bad person?
wg, Nov 12 2001

       <grin> It's a dirty job, waugs, but someone's got to do it.

For the record, I envisaged something similar to UnaBubba's comment. Fenceposts on caterpillar tracks, but they'd have to be fairly substantial to avoid falling over when they're on the move and when the sheep bump into them. Plus you'd have to have some method of contracting the actually fencing as they move inwards otherwise it would get all saggy and be useless (like me). I haven't fishboned the idea yet but neither has it earned a pastry.
DrBob, Nov 12 2001

       You would need a perfectly flat field, I admit. And sheep tend to be grown on hilly terrain. So maybe it is more suited to cattle in flat places.
pottedstu, Nov 12 2001

       Don't scare corporations, distribute the cure for stationary fencelines into the public domain.
reensure, Nov 12 2001

       The reason farmers choose this career is because they love being out in the elements with their dogs, horses and/or four wheel motorbikes and helicopters....not sitting at a desk pushing buttons, which is essentially what you are trying to inflict upon them.   

       Where's your sense of adventure?   

       I'm not aware of the problems you speak of. A farmer anticipating a sale would move his sheep closer to the house prior to the day and in the case of hundreds of sheep being sold, he would hold the sale on his own property.
Helium, Nov 13 2001


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