Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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tabledancing rugby

play rugby on a tabletop format
  (+12, -1)(+12, -1)
(+12, -1)
  [vote for,

like tabletop football but for the rugby players among us. I am sure that you are all familiar with tabletop soccer where the little men stand facing in one direction in rows and all kick together by tweaking little knobs at the side of the table. I think rugby would be twice as exciting. Obviously there would have to be more scope for movement and allow for little scrums I think they are called. The highlight would be when the big chap gets to kick the ball over the H. Some sort of retrieval system for the ball as it gets whacked right across the pub.
po, Nov 10 2001

A typical rugby player http://www.unicornr...ry%20Bloomfield.htm
[hippo, Nov 10 2001, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Aussie Rules http://www.afl.com.au
No Brumbies here [mighty_cheese, Nov 10 2001, last modified Oct 05 2004]

ACT Brumbies http://www.brumbies.com.au/
Super 12 Champions, but haven't played many Aussie Rules matches lately [mighty_cheese, Nov 10 2001, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Even an atheist would say "God bless po." Rugby is the only true sport.
thumbwax, Nov 10 2001

       not on my table you didn't!
po, Nov 10 2001

       All the little men should have cauliflower ears and be able to swear in three languages and have noses which bleed profusely. Every few minutes a ref could jump up and down with a yellow card.
Helium, Nov 11 2001

       When the ball has gone out of the playing field boundaries, the forwards get it back into play in a set piece called a lineout. The hooker throws the ball to a tall teammate, who is hoisted in the air by his shorts by the strongest players. The opposition players are lined up alongside, and the jumpers fight to catch the ball. This being rugby, much jersey-pulling and shoving also takes place. It is said that the lineout is where arguments are settled. Much like your game I imagine!
po, Nov 11 2001

       For the other USAns in the group who might be confused, 'tabletop football' is not the game with the triangular folded paper thing, it's 'foozball'
StarChaser, Nov 11 2001

       Hopefully the system will be patented to prevent it being ripped off by those wishing to market tabletop Rugby League.
mighty_cheese, Nov 11 2001

       Line-outs could just use specially-designed locks (second-row forwards) with their hands in a grasping position, and you have to catch the ball with yours. There might be a lot of pinging the ball across the table involved, but you'd soon learn how to control it. And for scrums, you'd pile all your players up and by pushing on the guy at the back (the number 8) get the whole lot to hopefully move forwards. I'm not sure about rucking - perhaps it would be legitimate to stab forks into your opponent's fingers.
pottedstu, Nov 11 2001

       The only true sport?
bristolz, Nov 11 2001

       Yes, American football is for sissies.
Helium, Nov 11 2001

       I was thinking about other, less dull sports like tennis, aerobatics, motocross, and billiards.
bristolz, Nov 12 2001

thumbwax, Nov 12 2001

       This game, if as well developed as you are planning, requires no imagination at all, on the part of the player, but a full understanding of all the rules and a determined concentration on moving all 15 jointed plastic figurines around the board. By far the best pub games are those involving the absolute minimum of kit, so I suggest you get three of you round a very small table with a bag of peanuts, and use three hands per team (i.e. fifteen fingers, three of which will be fat little buggers with cauliflower ears and no teeth, your thumbs, the front row). You can then follow the inspired Heineken TV advert's example, in which the nearly-empty pint glass is the goalposts. Please feel free to draw faces and team colours on your fingers. I'll stand on the sidelines and inspect all the shorts.
lewisgirl, Nov 12 2001

       I didn't get to see the England match, because I'm in Scotland. They showed the Wales melée in full and the Scottish trundle across two channels. We even got highlights of Ireland-Samoa before they mentioned the English rout of the Aussies.
lewisgirl, Nov 12 2001

       tabledancing, hookers, bars... sounds like this could involve cheerleaders too!
barnzenen, Nov 12 2001

       ROUT how I love that word, twice in as many months now.
po, Nov 12 2001

       According to yesterday's Observer, one English rugby practice last week was delayed for 2 hours when a mysterious "white, powdery substance" was noted at one end of the field. "Coach [Clive] Woodward immediately suspended practice while the police and SAS were called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the police determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the try line. Practice was resumed when the officials decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again."
pottedstu, Nov 12 2001

       May I be the first to congratulate the Aussies on losing twice to England in one weekend, an achievement encompassing both codes of rugby. Truly awe inspiring.

My experience of table football suggests that it tends to degenerate into a form of rugby as the evening goes on anyway.
DrBob, Nov 12 2001

       nice try - pottedstu   

       Rout - how I lurve that word
po, Nov 12 2001

       UB, re American gridiron, it appears that the people in charge missed the point of rugby's refusing to add protection to parts of the body used to strike opponents. Casual inspection shows that the most padded areas are those used to collide with opponents: shoulders and head, thereby allowing reckless abandon. As a result, there's some negligible padding of areas that get struck, such as thighs and hips, but of course the pursued have a vested interest in remaining light in comparison to the pursuers.   

       As a result, impacts are greater and greater as the athletes (?) become stronger, faster and carry more armored impacting equipment. What breaks? The unreinforceable parts: fingers, knees, necks, ribs and collarbones. It seems to be the USA approach to all problems: add some rules, add new equipment, and check to see what problems you've caused later.   

       Mind you, I'm only a soccer player myself.
daruma, Nov 13 2001

       Wait a minute - where are my table dancing rugby players? I really, really want table dancing rugby players. This is a delivery service, right?
quarterbaker, Nov 13 2001

       yep, and it's cash in hand only.
lewisgirl, Nov 13 2001

       Oh, I thought this game involved Pan Galatic Gargleblasters and the Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon 6--all on a table. My bad, man.
zaphod12, Nov 14 2001

       Sorry about the other head, there. I rather enjoy watching Australian Rules Football, but here in "The States" it's on the telly rather seldom, and they always show it at odd times like 2:00pm on a weekday afternoon. Go Brumbies!
zaphod12, Nov 14 2001

       po, you have a good idea here, and i think it might be good.
violentfem, Nov 14 2001

po, Nov 14 2001

       I want everyone to know that I've been thinking about why there's so much writhing and rolling on the soccer pitch as compared to the various land-grab games cited here. I have decided that there are two primary distinct reasons for it. I will not into detail here since it is off-thread and you thick-necked rugger types clearly don't care anyway. <daruma takes his pentagonal-embossed ball and goes home>
daruma, Nov 14 2001

       If soccer were to not reward the over-acting players by means of a free kick (amazing how quickly they recover once the kick is awarded), and get back to the beauty of the game - would it have appeal? I watch Futbol Mexicano myself. Even without "Goooooooallllll" it is excellent.
thumbwax, Nov 15 2001

       Thanks <Bubba> and <mighty cheesey>. As I said, I can only catch matches haphazardly, and I don't know all the obvioties--let alone the subtleties, but I do love to watch the game. Why does possession sometimes go to the team that kicks the ball out of play and sometimes go to the other team? And what's up with those headbands?
zaphod12, Nov 15 2001

       Sparki is refitting the Australian team's headwear as we speak (holiday colours anyone?)
po, Nov 15 2001

       all I require now is CP4 1/2 and I have the set!
po, Nov 15 2001

       [Zaphod12] The team that kicks the ball out of play retains possesion if they kicked it out on a penalty kick or a free kick. Otherwise the opposing team gets possesion.   

       Those headbands are actually just tape. Forwards tape their ears to prevent them from being grabbed, bitten, and generally ripped off their head.
mighty_cheese, Nov 15 2001

       US football players are a load of wimps. They wear 40 pounds of body armor and still get broken every other game, then sit around and collect money.   

       Rugby players just staple a torn-off leg back on at the end of the period if nobody's eaten it.   

       I like Rugby.
StarChaser, Nov 15 2001

       [Star], I don't think they staple it back on, it would come off to fast in the next period. I always heard they used superglue. Since it's clear you can't see where it was shorn from the body, and since it's got such a good hold the players can kick a little harder.
barnzenen, Nov 16 2001

       OK I am done sulking now. Why soccer (football) players writhe around more than other sports:   

       it's true, soccer players often exaggerate the pain in order to obtain a free kick or a PK, one of which can win a match. In the other collision / tackling games, being knocked to the ground is a part of play and therefore there's no reason to draw an official's attention. That's reason One.   

       The soccer player often is not expecting the tackle, as his/her attention is on the dribble, pass, shot whatever -- I suggest that it's more of a shock and therefore the reaction is more extreme.   

       The actual impact can be more painful if it's studs or boots into the ankle, compared to arms and shoulders around the hips -- anyone want to calculate the physics of surface area and coefficient of squishiness of aluminum studs vs arms?   

       More soccer players are built for speed than power, so the body frames aren't as suited to the contact.   

       It's a good way to get on TV.   

       bliss, I can't defend gridiron: I think it's overblown rubbish and a waste of athletic skill. The USA could win a World Cup if we could channel the gridiron "skill players" into soccer at an early age. 4.3 40 yd dash, 30" vertical leap? fuhgeddaboudit!
daruma, Nov 16 2001


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