Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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0g Bong

Weightlessness Water Pipe
  (+5, -3)
(+5, -3)
  [vote for,

The Zero-G Bar will hopefully be located in a section of outer space where controlled substance laws are relaxed and an intergalactic assortment of mind-altering intoxicants are available to the adventurous astronaut. It's easy to score Orion's Organic Betelgeuse Bud, but how can you smoke it in a bong without gravity? The weed needs to burn while the toker sucks the gas stream through a volume of water. The problem on spaceships and orbital stations is the liquid balls up and floats around and the bong water gets in your mouth and all over the cabin.

The BSQ 0g Bong is designed to function in low gravity environments and still have the familiar form of that old Apogee multichambered plexi model from your dorm room days at Starfreak Academy. The herb burns in a bowl on a hollow stem and bubbles through the water when the mouth seals against the cylinder top and creates a negative pressure, a.k.a. 'taking a hit.'

The bowl of the bong is a spherical screen chamber that opens along its equator and compressed pellets of dried leaves are placed inside and snapped shut. The screen chamber sits inside an airtight glass bulb enclosure with a valve fitting for drawing breathable air from the cabin or a bottled supply. A small coiled rheostat extends from the dome apex of the screen chamber lid hemisphere on a spring loaded shock absorber shaft. The flat face of the coil lightly contacts the top of the pot pellet. Current is sent through the wire, raising the coil metal surface temperature enough to heat the mind fuel to the combustion point. Pressure passes the pleasurable gasses away from the lump and into the lungs

The bowl assembly is a self contained bud burning unit with multiple applications in 'float and fly' situations. A standard fitting allows attachment to the pressure suit helmet for EVAs. Hereafter the term "bowl bulb" will reference this subsystem which has halfbakery merit of its own. On the 0g, the bowl bulb connects to a stem sticking down into a liquid mass contained inside the space bong's 'centrifugal chamber.'

The 'centrifugal chamber' works by spinning the base of the bong around fast enough that the resultant forces simulate a gravitational field. The mechanical motion establishes an equilibrium that allows a gas to bubble through a liquid and then easily inhaled downstream. The beauty of the 0g Bong is that while the bowl bulb and centrifugal chamber are circling, the toker can levitate above a stationary mouthpiece while catching a buzz-on.

To form a mental image of the 0g Bong, picture your lips on a standard cylinder, stem, & bowl design b-hitter, 2" diameter and 12" or more long. Now imagine as you stare down the outside of the tube, the plastic bends 90 degrees and the lower half spins while you are standing still. The joint at this junction moves smoothly and maintains a tight seal.

The bong mouthpiece is fitted with flaps that fix closed the inhalation end until a user pushes down to open the valve. A single button press revs up the centrifigul chamber, heats the bowl bulb rheostat, and allows airflow between burning stash and lost-in-space stoner. Press the button twice and the bowl bulb vacuums the ashes. Reloading the 0g Bong may someday be automated, but currently requires a manual fill.

Cube, Jan 26 2006

Zero-G Bar Zero-G_20Bar
"Cube is in the back" [Cube, Jan 26 2006]

Bong http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bong
basic principles [Cube, Jan 27 2006]


       It would be sooooo much easier to rotate the bar to provide simulate gravity. It strikes me that due to excessive smoking you have become an obsessive bong-designer. However, having been there myself I won't hold it against you.   

       By the way, if you haven't been to "Whistling bong" I can highly recommend it.
wagster, Jan 26 2006

       [wagster] If you think it is easier to spin a bar than a bong, what have you been smoking? The 0g Bong works even when the user is weightless which is the whole idea. My friends and I first started talking about this after seeing the movie "Moonraker" which ends with James Bond shaging a bird on the space shuttle. In fact, I must credit Chris DeBaun with inspiritation around the oven back in the 70's. His nickname was "DuBong"
Cube, Jan 26 2006

       // where controlled substance laws are relaxed// - spend two minutes in the Rookery (one of my favourite spots) in Amsterdam and all your dreams of floating bongs will come true. For all bong notions (and nations) +
xenzag, Jan 26 2006

       At the risk of taking this too seriously, building your bar inside a spinning cylinder will help with: loading the water, loading the weed, taking a sip of your drink, not losing the lighter, not losing the remote, hanging your coat on a peg, sitting down, not burning your hair etc. It requires merely two thruster rockets on the outside of your bar. Bond was in a space shuttle, not a bar, where simulated gravity was not such a necessity. Admittedly if you wanted to get high on a present day space trip, the 0g bong would be invaluable.
wagster, Jan 26 2006

       I read the title and thought it was maybe a bong for cavemen* - maybe you could spell it "zero-g"

* Apologies to Gary Larson fans who may think all cavemen are called "Thag"
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jan 26 2006

       Zero-G Bong or Og Bong? I thought 0g was cute and clever. Every bong has a name, often of obscure reference. I'm new to the bakery and still finding my balance titling inventions.
Cube, Jan 27 2006

       Og Bong is fine by me. Then again, most things are fine by me.
wagster, Jan 27 2006

       + Very well thought out - I'd like to see your interpretation of a nargli (turkish waterpipe).
thumbwax, Jan 29 2006

       //nargli// You could set yourself gently rotating with the waterpipe orbiting you on the end of its hose. To light, repack, etc. you would haul it in then let it out again, or better, have a setup like a miniature space elevator with a little robot climber that takes your stash and lighter out to the pipe.
spidermother, Feb 15 2006

       I feel like we just were hanging out and you are smart, I laugh too much enjoying your writing.
abadon, Nov 09 2007

       How about firing the engines in order to provide a little inertial acceleration for when you are hitting the bong? Or how about using a personal jetpack? Or, howabout doing a super-spaceninja backflip in order to get the water to stay pressed against the bottom of the bulb?
quantum_flux, Nov 12 2007


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