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1 Bear for every 4 people

Subterranean garbage vaults
  (+3, -5)
(+3, -5)
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From what I can tell, keeping bears Black and brown alike, out and away of human refuges containers is a daily concern.

This is particularly the case more towards the southwestern region of Alaskan Kodiak Country. In these surrounding regions, like the Great White is famed to the oceans. Brown bears populate the pristine landscape Of Alaskan life. These Forest dwelling omnivores, shadow the forest floor with a fuzzy 10-12 foot frame.

Well anyhow. The human refuse that is produced by Kodiak’s 15,000 residences is becoming more and more a dangerous nuisance for both man and beast. Once a bear has taken a liking to "people Food" public and private property damage is more than likely occur since once a bear decides to conduct an investigation for food, nothing is sacred. Not even your life, not if you have a half-eaten Twinkie in your pocket that you planned to save for later.

Subterranean garbage vaults! A steel reinforced hole in the ground located in a fictional meeting point between homes and garbage pickup routs.

With the addition of automated garbage railways that creatively disguise the tracks along the edge of a driveway or something. You never have to walk outside like a virgin sacrifice when you want to throw away some leftover fried chicken. The garbage rail transports it for you and safely dumps it into your remotely accessed subterranean garbage vault.

When garbage day comes around, a pneumatic arm can easily be adapted to existing garbage trucks to reduce their exposure to a hungry bear that has a disenchanting addiction to garbage.

Mr Wales, Apr 17 2009

guerrilla warfare marketing http://en.wikipedia...Guerrilla_marketing
[blissmiss, Apr 17 2009]


       Are you Garrison Keillor?
skinflaps, Apr 17 2009

       Not Keillor. I think it's Sarah Palin in a guerrilla suit. (with a Welsh accent?)
blissmiss, Apr 17 2009

       What's the matter with it buddy? If you don't stop picking on me I'm gonna tell Mr. Wales to sick the bears on you. HA!
blissmiss, Apr 17 2009

       Ok, I am not the Bear Whisperer; therefore I do not command the ability to sick things on people. Also most mechanical components need to accomplish the task I have in mind can be entirely eliminated with the use of electro-magnetism. NO?
Mr Wales, Apr 18 2009

       Oh yes you are. Anyway I've thought it over overnight and today I think the pneumatic arm could just as well grab the bear by the balls so to speak and chuck 'em into the neighbors yard.   

       Hence eliminating *your* problem.
blissmiss, Apr 18 2009

       I once heard a wonderful story about an American national park that discovered that bear-proof rubbish bins often couldn't be open by some of the dumber tourists. There was simply too much of an intelligence overlap between these two population.   

       So having both a human- and bear-proof way of storing rubbish makes sense to me. Unless bears start to learn how to hack electronics or wrest control of a garbage truck in order to do the rounds themselves and scoff the food later.
Aristotle, Apr 18 2009

       I'm a little disappointed.   

       I had expected a scheme whereby the government would issue one bear to every four people to assist with green recycling.   

       The first and second statements are not necessarily connected.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 18 2009

       //human refuges containers //
Are these what we call "houses"?

       //In these surrounding regions, like the Great White is famed to the oceans.//
And this sentence means...what, exactly?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 18 2009

       moral panic: bed-hopping teddies
pertinax, Apr 19 2009

       look, it's all happening in a "fictional location" so maybe it's simply a trick to make the bears think that the trash is going into hyper-secure underground disposal when it's still just going to the regular place.
WcW, Apr 19 2009

       Why don't you just try not to waste so much food?
Loris, Apr 20 2009

       Then he'd get big and fat and get mistaken for a bear??? Whoops into the dumpster ya goooo mate.
blissmiss, Apr 20 2009

       No, you see a bear serves four people.   

       I might like bears, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
Loris, Apr 20 2009

       Hold on a min there [lil Loris] Waiter bears serving whales to humans...now that's repulsive!
blissmiss, Apr 20 2009

       Aristotle, why did dumb tourists want to get stuff out of the rubbish bins?   

       Oh, I consider this idea worthy of a thwarted pineapple.
Loris, Apr 24 2009

       They needed to insert, rather than extract ...
Aristotle, Apr 24 2009


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