Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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ATM "whatever" button

"You have insufficient funds..."
  (+23, -2)(+23, -2)(+23, -2)
(+23, -2)
  [vote for,
against]

I am a man of moderate means, and from time to time I run out of cash in my current account.

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather the person behind me in the ATM queue didn't realise that I'd just hit financial rock bottom, so I tend to hang about making some pretence of putting (imaginary) money into my wallet until the embarrasing "you have insufficient funds" message has disappeared from the screen. This usually takes an eternity.

So for christmas I've asked santa to bake a small red button on the ATM keypad marked "yep, I'm broke, I'm miserable, I get the message but I don't want you to inform the customers behind me about my bancrupcy as a final indignity thank you very much", which will immediately clear the message form the screen.

Fishrat, Dec 13 2005

I think something like this would be better. http://www.cascadec...7176nelson-haha.gif
[bungston, Dec 16 2005]

[link]






       I feel your pain.   

       If you could get the ATM to stop laughing and pointing, too, that would be great.
salachair, Dec 13 2005
  

       I'd rather have a red button that ejects the entire ATM off of the wall.
skinflaps, Dec 13 2005
  

       Or how about an optional button that appears when you are out of cash, which causes unmarked monopoly money to be ejected, which can be stuffed smugly into wallet/purse and then thrown away later?
Mr Phase, Dec 13 2005
  

       I'm usually more concerned about the person behind me finding out that I have lots of cash available and have already entered my PIN, than I am by them finding out I am broke. Maybe that's because I've got used to the latter scenario, but the former is still a novel experience.
wagster, Dec 13 2005
  

       Hell, dispense me a receipt in negative balance with the obscene fee already deducted. I'll then have something to squirrel away and the screen will return to its placid smile. Just like a visit to the therapist.
reensure, Dec 13 2005
  

       I thought this would be a button for when you ask for £50 and get told "Insufficient funds". That's when it would be nice to have a "Give me whatever I've got left" button, on the offchance that it will cover the cab home.
wagster, Dec 13 2005
  

       A lot of ATMs will print the "Insuficient Funds" message on a receipt, rather than blurting it out on the screen. Which seems much more discreet.   

       And Citibank gives you your balance before you ask for the cash, allowing you to avoid asking for too much in the first place.
DrCurry, Dec 13 2005
  

       A cash machine sensitive to fishrat’s pecuniary peccadilloes should spit out a stack of Lebanese pounds instead of the English variety. Just something to stuff his wallet with. See fishrat flourishing the colorful bills to impress the muggers standing behind him! One hundred Lebanese pounds is about five pence, and surely even the most miserable halfbaker has that much in the bank.
ldischler, Dec 13 2005
  

       Idisch: I had three pence in my bank account for two years. I can't remember how I stayed alive through it all!
spiritualized, Dec 13 2005
  

       City gal that I am, I thought this button was a "screw you" statement back to the bank, as in...
Insufficient funds? uh, whatever. <eye roll, presses handy "whatever" button>
  

       Either way, is good.
Zuzu, Dec 16 2005
  

       That's what I thought, too.   

       ATM: Insufficient Funds, peasant!   

       Me: "Like, what..everrrrrr!" (Holds up thumbs and index fingers in W sign and gives withering glance, then panic buys as many potatoes as change in back pocket will allow).
squeak, Dec 16 2005
  

       How about a "well, could you lend me a few bucks?" button when you have insufficient funds? Besides, I think they are cruel to say I don't have any money when I still have checks.
DVineMissEva, Dec 16 2005
  

       I thought it was like:   

       ATM: FastCash or cash withdrawl?   

       You: Whatever.   

       ATM: Cheque or savings account?   

       You: Whatever.   

       ATM: Would you like a receipt?   

       You: Whatever.   

       ATM: Have a nice day.   

       You: Whatever.   

       Also a handy button to have on computers, and in Subway restaurants.
Texticle, Dec 16 2005
  

       I need a button that gets rid of the negative sign in front of my balance. I thought the stupid debit card would be declined if I ran out of money but aparently the bank wanted more and robbed me a fee.   

       I gave you a + because I think this is funny, but I have a question: Why do you give a rat's ass about what the person behind you will think? We should start caring less about the opinion of those we are unlikely to see again... and of those we will see again, too. We would be happier.
Pericles, Dec 17 2005
  

       The button should send a lazer beam directly into the eyes of the person behind you. forever blinding them and making it impossible for them to enjoy your misfortune. the lazer would be followed by a booming robotic voice stating that the atm does not have enough money to give you. the poor nosey blind man behind you will fall to his knees and grovel at your feet, as he will surely think you are much wealthier than he.
IcarusByNight, Dec 18 2005
  

       It would be good if you could install this sort of option into the people behind the counter inside the store. I'm sick of seeing the lurid contents of their nostrils.
Honduras, Dec 18 2005
  

       Yeah, retail people make millions I hear. Definitely a group to feel insecure about your finances around.
Zuzu, Dec 18 2005
  

       Icarus - I'm still laughing, nice one.
weedy, Dec 18 2005
  

       Isn't this invention proof that kids never grow up, and peer pressure never dies?
Honduras, Dec 19 2005
  
      
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