Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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A nice cold drink II

Direct refreshment delivery
  [vote for,

You're hot. You're in a queue. The sun is beating down and it could be hours before you reach that bit up ahead where there's shade. What you need most right now, is a nice cold drink.

Some enterprising individual has set up a cold drink drone delivery service, but the authorities have intervened, citing airspace regulations for unmanned vehicles, and so those tantalising beverages have remained firmly on the ground. Until now.

Power up your "smart" phone and download the Cold Drink Direct Queue Delivery Service "app". Utilizing the on-board GPS and Compass, a large arrow appears pointing to the nearest CDDQDS depo. It's right near the front of the queue, but fear not! Simply make yourself into a suitably noticeable target (stand on a suitcase, or climb onto the shoulders of a fellow queueee) and hold up that "smart" phone. The LED starts to flash in a special pattern.

Over at the depo, one of the turrets swings round and locates the pulsing LED under the gaze of its telephoto lens. Using widely-available facial recognition technology, it identifies the face of the owner of the LED beacon. More specifically, it locates the mouth on the face of the owner of the LED beacon. Once this target has been locked, a large menu button appears on the screen of the "app", where you, the lucky customer, can select a delicious cold beverage for Direct Delivery.

Upon the application of finger-pressure to the touch-screen button, the turret, being your server for today, and having already primed its compressor tanks to an exactly calculated pressure, releases the solenoids that operate the valves that pump the beverage through the laminar-flow filter and out of the nozzle, onwards and upwards, a precisely measured shotglassworth of the finest tipple, which arcs gracefully over the parched crowd beneath, and assuming all windspeed calculations were correct, hurtles directly into the waiting mouth of You, the customer.

For those who prefer their beverages in a can, a secondary service, utilizing the same approximate delivery method, automatically loads a precise quantity of explosive into the base of a large tube (or "mortar") whereupon the electric motors aim the tube to a carefully calculated angle, accommodating for windspeed once again, the canned drink is lowered into the tube, and the explosive detonated. The bore being just slightly larger than the standard diameter of a beer can ensures the majority of the escaping gasses end up propelling your drink onto a perfect flight path. For a modest additional fee, a small parachute may be attached in order to lessen the extent of injuries upon landing.

mitxela, Jun 21 2017

Hungry? Cloud cover is no problem .... Orbital_20toaster
[normzone, Jun 23 2017]


       // explosive detonated. //   

       Immediate bun. [+]   

       Practically, you probably need a low-signature nitrocellulose propellant; but none the less, the croissant is affixed.
8th of 7, Jun 21 2017

       [+] wind currents - science, lack thereof... but it'd make a great beer commercial. the can thing might work.
FlyingToaster, Jun 22 2017

       Rapidly tossing back drink at speed is for kids - I prefer to savor mine. But I know where you can get a snack to go with it (link)
normzone, Jun 23 2017

       [+} could shoot single malt jello shots, but google shows a complete absence of single malt jello shot recipes.
farble, Jun 26 2017

       My finest cold tipple comes with an ice cube. Ouch! But somehow a ball of chilled gel. a jello shot. Never had one but they make them with vodka. Is there some kind of gel that would work with whiskey?
farble, Jun 26 2017

       // google shows a complete absence of single malt jello shot recipes. //   

       There's a very good reason for that. Everyone who has ever attempted to perpetrate such blasphemy has been summarily executed with Extreme Prejudice.   

       Putting anything into Single Malt other than water is sacreligious, and is punishable by death (for first offence).   

       Don't say you haven't been warned.
8th of 7, Jun 26 2017

       Once poured Ardbeg over a clear ice cube and had to run out for something. Put it in the freezer. Came back to a surprisingly good slushy drink. I imagine the proposed machinery could shoot sanctified single malt slush balls.
farble, Jun 26 2017

       The authorities will consider your cans, and possibly your streams of liquid, to be drones. They are moving through the air without any solid connection to the ground, without being animals or wind-carried items. Furthermore, they lack guidance and/or obstacle avoidance systems.
notexactly, Jun 27 2017


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