"Remarkable," I can pretty much resist, because no one says,
"remarkable" in real life.
"Hey," gets me every time, because it's so minimal, it's just what
of real friends would put in the subject of an email, which has,
thank you advertising companies, forced me to reevaluate my real
"You'll never guess what 5 strategies these successful marketeers
used to get you to click on their links," also gets me every time
because, although I realize quickly that it's a marketing gimmick, I
just can't resist the opportunity to prove them wrong about
would do anything, so I say to myself, "well, we'll just see about
whether I will never guess or not, and then I am off to the races.
But these strategies are getting old. I may fall for them now, but I
recognize them enough to write the down here. Pretty soon it's
going to be only our senior citizens, kids and people with cognitive
disabilities who are falling for these ploys. Can I get in on this
Entre the Advertising strategy database, where I take real subject
lines of emails that I get from my friends, or simulations thereof,
and enter them into a database for patent protection, use by
nefarious marketeers and then payment to me based on how many
people they successfully dupe.
I spend the rest of my life in Guadalajara reading the same
emails, but now copying and pasting the best subject lines into
Advertising strategy database and sipping tequila based on the
On a peripherally related note, one of the first audiobooks I read
was a book about the future of computing written by Bill Gates
the narrator who read the book would always get a little spit in his
mouth before he said the word profit, so that it came out
"phthslrofit", so that it sounded like he couldn't contain his
because he was so eager to get his teeth into that profit. I don't
know whether that was on purpose but it was very effective in
steering me away from a career in profit.