Anal Positive Message Vibrating Morse Code Device

Recently a chess champion was accused of using vibrating anal beads to cheat. I didn't open the article but I assumed they were sending him some kind of message. Message with an e.

So thinking this was easily among the funniest anal beads communication stories I've heard all week, I thought: "Hey, you haven't put anything into the HB in a while, why not take this story, add some stupid premise and put it up?" So here it is.

Feeling down? Not with the "Good Vibes Positive Message Massager". After learning Morse code with the enclosed instructions, you'll discretely receive random positive affirmations throughout the day without anybody else knowing.

At a business meeting: "You're doing great Bob!"

Going on a date: "I think she likes you!"

In a job interview: "You're good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it, people like you!"

The good vibes positive message massager. Like having a gardian angel whispering in your ear, only.. well, not in your ear exactly.

By Remucon

Note: Was sleepy, had something funny I wanted to add, went to hit edit, hit erase by accident, said "Shit!" went to cancel and hit the wrong button again. Don't post while sleepy. I'll try to salvage the great annos but it'll take a minute.