Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Anti-Procrastination Chair

Motivational aid for those without atten... Ooo Elizabeth Taylor is said to... OW!!
  (+33, -4)(+33, -4)(+33, -4)
(+33, -4)
  [vote for,

* Software installed on PC that procrastinater is working. Works in background, parsing keypresses, matching words that are "off-topic"; monitoring mouse movements and application usage and following an AI algorithm to detect work-avoidance.

* A brace that has a lever/pendulum and winch contraption is fitted to the back of an office chair.

* Office chair is 'enhanced' with oval-shaped hole (about same area as a cd) cut into the seat.

* Upon detection of a 'FA' threshold level the contraption is set in motion. (FA - F**king about)

* The pendulum swings down, with the large heavy boot attachment arcing through the hole in the seat, firmly 'encouraging' the seated to cease procrastination.

* Optional extra: As boot strikes a pre-recorded message intones "Get back to F**king Work!".

* Discount available for PhD students and IT 'professionals' that can't get their act together.

Jinbish, Jun 07 2005

anti procrastination song http://www.youtube....watch?v=UAZhRW9o4J4
[jaksplat, Aug 20 2010]

The Cognitive Cost of Doing Things http://m.lifehacker...ost-of-doing-things
"Every time you amass the willpower to do anything, it has mental costs." It turns out, though, once you've started it gets easier... [Dub, May 08 2011]

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       //* Discount available for PhD students that can't get their act together.//   

       How about IT 'professionals' who spend all their time posting to the internet, rather than doing their actual job?   

       Seriously, I *need* one of these! [+]
zen_tom, Jun 07 2005

Jinbish, Jun 07 2005

       Damn, that hurt, zt!
Soterios, Jun 07 2005

       I hope this is networked (hackable). I relish the thought of (anonymous) remote control of these clever devices in certain strategic locations.
crater, Jun 07 2005

       Sorry [Jinbish], but if widely implemented this could have a serious impact on the 'bakery, a place I am sworn to protect (with my life if necessary). You're only coming up with bad ideas like this because your PhD is distracting you from giving sufficient thought to what you post. [-]
wagster, Jun 07 2005

       Ow! Whaaat?! Decreasing entropy is hard work!
Shz, Jun 07 2005

       \\* Optional extra: As boot strikes a pre-recorded message intones "Get back to F**king Work!"\\   

       Hahaha. An advanced option as a Motivation chair ..   

       "You're breaking my legs here, you're fat .. drop and give me 50 fatso!"   

       "Goddamn you're lazy! Get your ass up and do something!"   

       "No more takeaways! Cook something that wasn't killed crossing the highway!"   

       .. perhaps not.
kuupuuluu, Jun 07 2005

       I *still* need one of these things...
zen_tom, Jun 07 2005

skinflaps, Dec 05 2005

       A good addition to this unit would be a mechanism that causes the chair to rise to assist you in standing up.
Jscotty, Dec 05 2005

       No man, it's gotta suck you back down.
Cuit_au_Four, Dec 06 2005

       Ide make the reminder a 45 degree inclination of the seat instead of the boot, thats just harsh.
IcarusByNight, Dec 06 2005

       Use a little AI and a webcam to force the incumbant to do x pushups per half-hour of slacking.
Voice, Aug 19 2006

       [Zen_Tom], yeah, I've been meaning to get one, for ages
Dub, Sep 03 2006

       maybe you could just have it jerk the chair back (to a leaning position, like the nice chairs that have the little lever to lock and unlock it from leaning)unbeknownst to said sitter, causing that horrible "oh crap im about to fall" feeling, not to mention the ensuing laughter from co workers who see you jerk your body forward arms stretched out reaching for something to grab on to. At least the co workers who took time to laugh would probobly be triggered also.
rascalraidex, Sep 04 2006

       As if anybody on the 'bakery could survive one of these.
zigness, Sep 05 2006

       Procrastination is a fine art and is not to be discounted. I would put this chair right down there with “lines of code” metrics. The response to such things is inevitably either lots of irrelevant comments to pad the metric or exceedingly buggy code. Indeed the rash of crash ridden unsecured code could well be directly correlated with the emergence such irrelevant metrics. Inspiration, and most activities more complicated than putting pegs in holes requires some, typically requires a quite mind and a seemingly irrelevant context to supply the missing piece of the puzzle. Forcing a person to be active just for the sake of being active is a misplacement of effort and an invitation to half baked work.. Indeed, after a little while working under such abuse, workers will start actively subverting the system. This latter being a survival tactic of ancient origin.
cjacks, Oct 16 2006

       I need at least three of those. One of them would be installed in the toilet seat. "You've been here for more than 5 minutes! You're not really using the bathroom, you're reading newspapers! Or just counting floor tiles! Get back to work!" And of course, a few of them at home. One in the refrigerator. "You're not really hungry, you're just bored. Go away."
Veho, Oct 16 2006

pashute, Nov 04 2009

       Ah [21 Quest], you've fallen into the same trap as [wagster]: you've assumed that the being on the Halfbakery counts as procrastination. This device could be programmed to "kick in" when it hasn't recently detected the words 'custard' or 'pirates'...
Jinbish, Nov 05 2009

       You could cook up a quick/easy version of the product (no AI) by having it monitor your operating system process table. If your browser pops up, boom!   

       You could create a list of sites that deserve extra-hard kicks. And then there's the inevitable exception table, where you list sites that are permissible.
luxlucet, Nov 05 2009

       i'd just avoid the chair and get onto my knees, but that would be a dead giveaway.
twitch, Nov 05 2009

       it's a great idea but my first full day's work would consist of writing a script to fool the monitor.
Voice, Aug 20 2010

       Procrastination..... think I'll postpone thinking about this idea for a while.
xenzag, Aug 20 2010

       {Finally got one} [Linky] Just perhaps, the chair should start doing random things which need to be done. Once you've taken an interest and latched on to something which has been started the chair can take a back seat until your impetus dwindles.
Dub, May 08 2011


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