Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Anti-intimidation training

Get yelled at by a cop and become stoic
  (+7, -3)
(+7, -3)
  [vote for,

In the US it's fairly well known that the best strategy by an innocent or guilty individual undergoing questioning by police is always, always to say nothing.

Police in the US use various tactics including intimidation/bullying, lying, threats, and psychology to get a person to talk against his own best interest. These tactics work in many cases because the person hasn't gotten used to being badgered in this fashion.

This service would hire off duty and retired cops and have them shout at people in intense one-on-one weekly sessions. The purpose would be to help the person stay silent under duress.

Voice, Apr 15 2014

Why you should never talk to a cop. https://www.youtube...watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc
It's good advice. Follow it. [DrBob, Apr 16 2014]

Scottish news report featuring "British Shouting" http://www.youtube....watch?v=rZtJG7NFQZs
[calum, Apr 16 2014]

heat , classic burt reynolds movie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093164/
cannot teach an old dog new balls. [teslaberry, Apr 24 2014]


       Tazing too?
bungston, Apr 15 2014

       There's scope for anti-intimidation training wrt people who are not members of the Illinois law enforcement community also: purely social intimidation is pretty much endemic in some workplaces. Such training is, at heart, a confidence boosting exercise in re the intimidated. And that (looping back) is the issue with intimidation by representatives of the law enforcement apparatus, because it is hard to have confidence when the power dynamic is so utterly unequal.
calum, Apr 15 2014

       In the case of being a woman, it is best to have cleavage showing at that time!
xandram, Apr 15 2014

       Category: Business: General   

       And you think people are going to pay you for this? I think you'd have better luck with meditative exercises.   

       I've dealt with officers who would not relent until you showed some fear - fortunately they are the exception, not the rule.
normzone, Apr 15 2014

       Some talk, but about unrelated things like the weather. I had a boss who would only talk about the weather. He never got in trouble for something he had said, because he never said anything of importance. But he talked and talked.   

       Your course might coach people unable to shut up to prattle about things of little consequence. Total silence is preferred, but...   

       After watching the video I can see how talking just about the weather could get you convicted.   

       Never mind.
popbottle, Apr 15 2014

       If you think I'm gonna let you attend those anti- intimidation classes, you've got another think coming.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 15 2014

       Thanks a lot, [Maxwell] - now I have a Judas Priest song stuck in my head.
normzone, Apr 15 2014

       Erm ended up talking to two police officers and I bowed out of the conversation when it was heading towards the bit where I would have to explain why I'm not a criminal...too surreal for me.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 15 2014

       Anyone who ever shouted at me with an American accent, just made me laugh.
xenzag, Apr 16 2014

       Don't give them that hoity toity, artsy lah dee, oh I'm so sorry for intimidating you, dah, stick it up your feathers, fancy pantsie excuse to avoid the bollocking hows your granny, courses.
skoomphemph, Apr 16 2014

       //Right, because Brits are so renowned for their superior shouting. "I SAY, OLD BEAN.."//   

       Yes, and then we quietly go away and fetch the RAF.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 16 2014

       The "cheat code" in this game is to say "lawyer". Over & over, like a mantra.   

       What other "games" exist where you can stumble into it by accident, & have seasoned professionals play their strategies & then you die?   

       I want to know the "cheat code" to those games as well.
sophocles, Apr 16 2014

       All of this is making me laugh even more. I'll find a scary accent and post it.
xenzag, Apr 16 2014

       only a totally pussified culture to begin with would have people suggesting this.   

       anti-intimidation training. is a fucking contradiction in terms.   

       if you didn't learn to grow a pair of balls when you were young, and you don't have REAL cause to grow balls when your older (desperate circumstances) than you cannot buy balls with some training.....   

       this reminds me of an old burt reynolds movie, a terrible movie, but classic burt. where a rich computer guy pays burt to train him to have some balls.   

       and classic chest hair.   

teslaberry, Apr 24 2014

       //held policemen in high regard//   

       Israeli policemen jokes:
* Why does he tilt his head while writing your ticket? So that he can write. It concentrates all his IQ in one place.

       * He stops a guy at Tsczernichowsci Avenue. Starts writing a ticket. Tears it out of the pad, and starts a second one. Tears it and starts a third. Finally when only one form is left, he asks the driver: You mind if we advance a little up to Hess Road?   

       *He decides to become an officer. His wife tells him that he must know how to read and write first, and do math. So they take a private teacher, an experienced young woman soldier-teacher now off duty. She's extremely talented, and within a year and a half he already knows how to read and write all the letters, some words and even an easy paragraph. He also learned all the numbers, and knows how to add and subtract, and even multiply up to 8x5, when the test date arrives.   

       All the guys are smoking when the policewomen says: No smoking, no turning of the page till I tell you, don't forget to put your name on top, and you have exactly 2 and a half hours. Turn the pages now.   

       He inhales, puts out his cigarette, turns the test over and sees its real easy. There's only one question and its in the material he prepared for. 4 x 4. That's easy!!   

       He writes his name, writes down the answer, 14, and is the first to leave the classroom.   

       When he gets home his wife asks him how it went. Easy, he says, there was only one question. What was the question, she asks. 4 x 4 he says. She pulls the calculator out from the desk drawer, but before she has a chance to say anything he notices the change of color on her face and grabs it himself. He presses. 4 x 4 =. 16! Now he realizes. They tricked him. They gave him only one question. If they gave him a few questions he could have failed on some and succeeded on another. It was a year and half of hard effort, but what do they care?! And it was a tricky question too. 4 x 4. Of course they WANTED him to get mixed up and say 14. The conspiracy was clear.   

       He goes running to headquarters, they had just closed the reception window and he bangs on it loudly, while calling out. A small wicket is opened. Yes? What do you want?   

       How dare you? I studied for this test for a whole year and...
Just a minute sir. What is your name?
What do you want? You passed!

       I did?! But how?!!
You were the closest.
pashute, Apr 24 2014


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