Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I never imagined it would be edible.

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Battenblurb

A novel way to enjoy cake.
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A problem that we all face is the difficult multitasking and balancing act required whilst reading a book and simultaneously eating Battenburg.

The undisputed king of the cakes, the Battenburg already is a leader in its field when it comes to resolving this issue. The marzipan outer skin does go some way to protecting those pinkies from jam and cake crumbs, for turning pages. However this is not a solution in the long term. Marzipan can too become sticky after prolonged contact with human flesh. What is required is for the comparatively mundane checkerboard cross-section to be replaced with a section depicting words (and possibly pictures), in a similar vein to a stick of rock. The fundamental difference being that the cross-section will change along its length spelling new words at regular intervals. The top marzipan surface can be ruled with a scale, dividing the cake up into individual pages and chapters allowing the consumer to read the end face, and than slice off that page and consume. This can be repeated until the book is finished, or the reader feels sick.

alan's cat, Oct 27 2005

Also for the connoisseur Battenburg_20Ice_20Cream
More great Battenburg based fun. [alan's cat, Oct 27 2005]

unbridled genius http://www.qarxis.com/Fainting_Goats
the greatest animal on the planet - surely enjoys battenburg [roy of royworld, Oct 27 2005]

Rapid Prototyping http://www.jhmay.com/rapidprototyping/
Can be harnessed by patissiers as well as dull engineers! [alan's cat, Oct 27 2005]

[link]






       i think this is possibly the best and worst idea i have ever contemplated making this afternoon.
roy of royworld, Oct 27 2005
  

       The manufacturing process is clearly an issue. Maybe it could be done in a similar way to stilton, by threading needles in to the sponge. Or the sponge mix could be poured over a complex three-dimensional mesh which dissolves to dye the sponge during the cooking process.
alan's cat, Oct 27 2005
  

       how about some sort of adaptation of a 3d printer to lay down tiers of sugary deposits. you could even pick the font
Pat Butcher, Oct 27 2005
  

       thats a ridiculous idea. sugary deposits? you have the brain of a blueberry whoever came up with that one...
roy of royworld, Oct 27 2005
  

       i guess having a blueberry brain has something to do with thinking that roast duck in a muffin would actually be edible.
Pat Butcher, Oct 27 2005
  

       I agree with pat. Roast duck in a muffin is unworkable and quite ludicrous - only someone with inconceivable good looks and an insatiable charm could have come up with it. and so what if i have a blueberry for a brain?
roy of royworld, Oct 27 2005
  

       a word per cake [jutta]? are you mad? I'd be obese before I finish a copy of the Beano, let alone War and Peace.   

       I’m pretty sure there’s legs in the 3D plotter idea [Fat Pat]. If we use a viscous enough, two tone cake mix, thus ensuring the colours don’t bleed. See link to Rapid Prototyping.   

       Remember to replace all resin with cake mix.
alan's cat, Oct 27 2005
  
      
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