Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bedtime Fart Pants

Dutch oven prevention for you and your significant other:
(+2, -2)
  [vote for,

If you're like me, you don't quite enjoy smelling of your spouse's "brand" when you climb out of bed in the morning.

Using a light, flexible and non-gas permeable material, why not fashion some comfortable underpants with an elastic waistband and legbands to hold in their stench? It doesn't end there... The pants would be ventilated through a "hose" of similar material with a battery operated, low rpm exhaust fan at the end. The fan could be mounted on a sill and would blow out the bad air through your odourless slumber.

I realize this solution is far from perfect: If your spouse/sig. other is a fitful sleeper they're sure to get tangled in the hose through the night. If the hose gets crimped, it collapses and pollution accumulates in the Fart Pants.

Perhaps a Fart Blanket would be a better idea and could ventilate the entire bed...

gummyjane, Feb 17 2007

FlatD.com http://www.flat-d.c..._u4oCFQm0EAodjDztQA
Their avowed aim is to touch you by putting something in your pants. Just say no. [MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 19 2007]

And you thought you were kidding ... https://www.buybettermarriageblanket.com/
... about the fart blanket. [jutta, Dec 05 2010]


       Believe it or not this is already baked and patented. I saw it on a patent search sight in their strange patent section.
pydor, Feb 17 2007

       There goes *that* million dollar idea...
gummyjane, Feb 17 2007

       Possibly put a carbon filter instead of complex extraction pipe/etc? My wife has talked of this before.
TheLightsAreOnBut, Feb 18 2007

       Am I the only one who has never before encountered the concept of a transferable fart-smell? Is [Gummyjane] unusually absorbent in this respect, or is his/her spouse unusually odorous? (Sorry, that was not meant as a purely facetious comment - it's just that I've never heard of this phenomenon before.)   

       I would be very suspicious of anyone who attempts to offer you a flatulence- related product: these people have sinister motives. I quote from the website of Flat-D.com: "Over the past 3-years, we’ve been able to touch and help thousands of people around the world".[link]
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 19 2007

       Why not just sleep in big oblong boxes? Side by side?
blissmiss, Feb 20 2007

       //Why not just sleep in big oblong boxes? Side by side?//   

       And when only one person wakes up in the morning, we have a good idea who the culprit of flatulence is...
Jinbish, Dec 05 2010

       Hmm. I'm thinking donning what's basically a "gas diaper" might have negative impact on a couple's love life.   

       "Hey babe, wanna get hot 'n heavy? Lemme just take this gas diaper off first."   

       And no, trying to sex them up like a woman's version with fishnet stocking attachments or crochless gas diapers wouldn't help. Neither would a guy's version with lipstick kisses printed all over them.
doctorremulac3, Dec 06 2010


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