Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Belly Button Pressure Outlet Device

Simply turn the tap and release the pressure...ahhhhhhhhh
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Having recently (like, today) had Gastroenteritus, I discovered that although I could release wind copiusly, it was always accompanied by the emergence of fairly viscous, and it must be said, foul smelling liquid...then it came to me. Why not have a screw-in device which would allow the release of such a dangerous build up of pressure safely and hygenically? Giving you, for the first time, the power to decide how, when and where you cause an emission. Some surgery might be needed initially to embed a bayonet or screw type fitting within the BB itself, but after that a variety of third-party attachments could become available. Ever seen the advert about "no hands free to use a torch?"...well, you have now!
Skybird, Jan 07 2001

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       "Giving you, for the first time, the power to decide how, when and where you cause an emission."
egnor, Jan 07 2001
  

       Plus, I would think that even a release valve would tend to let out liquids and solids, and if it didn't then it would quickly become clogged and useless. ick.
PotatoStew, Jan 08 2001
  

       it's called a colostomy bag. look it up. yuk. :P
absterge, Jan 12 2001
  
      
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