Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
The word "How?" springs to mind at this point.

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Big Shoes

Reclaim your personal space.
  (+19, -2)(+19, -2)
(+19, -2)
  [vote for,

New from the secret underground factory of Wagster Industries come... BIG SHOES! Made out of foam and reinforced with lightweight sprung steel, these shoes are each five feet long by two feet wide, but concealed within them are a pair of the comfiest, snuggiest trainers you have ever worn.

No more shall you be crowded on station platforms - BIG SHOES will force people to stand at least two feet away from you at all times. Be the only person with elbow room on the underground - anyone attempting to stand upon your BIG SHOES will merely slide off the internal steel skeleton! Never again do you have to wonder if the person behind you is watching you enter your PIN while they breathe down your neck - BIG SHOES will keep them back. Buy BIG SHOES today and enjoy the space that is rightfully yours!

Wagster Industries is not responsible for any loss of street cred brought about by the wearing or use of BIG SHOES.

wagster, Jun 05 2006

(?) Big Shoes. http://jollywalkers.com/shoes
They don't come any more stylish than this! [DrBob, Jun 05 2006]

(?) Big enough?? http://www.environl...r.org/Big_Shoes.JPG
[gnomethang, Jun 05 2006]

(?) ...even BIGGER......... http://www.coloribus.com/blog/?p=134
[xandram, Jun 05 2006]

...... even even BIGGER AGAIN!!!!!!! http://www.roadside...ract/PAHALshoe.html
[xenzag, Jun 05 2006]

(?) Big shoes - http://www.horsesho...untble/frsrndbl.htm
- worn four at a time [normzone, Jun 05 2006]

(?) Must be these then? http://www.navigant...LE/Big-shoes_SR.jpg
[skinflaps, Jun 05 2006]


       Not quite [gnome], but definitely heading in the right direction.
wagster, Jun 05 2006

       So, like clown shoes but even more impractical.
st3f, Jun 05 2006

       These could prove to be useful whilst on holiday, double them up as swimming pool spring boards for the kids.
skinflaps, Jun 05 2006

       may I have the next dance, wags?
po, Jun 05 2006

       With pleasure [po]. I presume you have your snowshoes?   

       [skinflaps] - That's pretty much exactly what I wanted my illustration to look like before I realised that I wasn't going to do it.
wagster, Jun 05 2006

pigtails_and_ponies, Jun 05 2006

       Excuse me, you're standing on my foot.
So what?

       (What I imagine a typical London Underground BIG SHOES scenario to be.)
Jinbish, Jun 05 2006

       more likely to be: "Excuse me, your foot's standing on me."
xenzag, Jun 05 2006

       Ah - I'm talking about BIG SHOE being used as the subway population's doormat...
Jinbish, Jun 05 2006

       ...and you know what they say about a guy with big shoes.   

       //Be the only person with elbow room on the underground //
'Cos you are the only one who can't get into the train...
Ling, Jun 06 2006

       Cool. Now all you need is a circus theme tune and a 'HONK HONK' when you want to pass someone.
kuupuuluu, Jun 06 2006

       To get on a crowded train or bus - you need to have the smallest footprint you can.   

       Maybe you can amuse people trying to lift your big shoes when out walking. After half an hour of hard walking even the lightest shoes begin to feel like lead.
neelandan, Jun 06 2006

       Well... You know what they say about //Big Shoes//?   


       That's right... Big feet.
Dub, Jun 08 2006

       Nope, longer laces.   

       links sure expire quick. Out of six five just disappear.
popbottle, Aug 24 2014

       They don't make them like they used to.   

       Alternatively, the HB telluric currents have eroded the bases of the links, so they no longer point in exactly the right direction....   

       Ok, I'll stop going on about them..
not_morrison_rm, Aug 24 2014

       Come back Wagster.....
xenzag, May 12 2018

       Seconded. But, alas, he has escaped to the real world where he is working diligently.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 12 2018

       You mean none of this is real?
xenzag, May 12 2018


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