Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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Breathing Bra

magical mammary movement
  (+1, -2)
(+1, -2)
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He: Hiya Dimple Cheeks! Wanna try some of this new Maple Honey Smoothie?
She: Yeah, umm good stuff. Now, can you see what’s new with me?
He: You’re chewing some new, extra-big wad of gum?
She: No, these’re two rubber pumps I’m chompin’ on that’re part of the extra dimension to my appearance.
He: Then that’s not a dribble of drool exiting the corner of your mouth?
She: No, silly. This is the shiny, transparent, air tube made to look like an attractive trickle. Look down lower…I want you to.
He: Wow, bouncing boobs! Hellooo nurse! Uh, how do you do that?
She: Neat huh? It’s a push-up-pull-down bra. Besides jug jogging, I can do the teeter totter move and I’m learning a 360 degree double whammy.
He: Kewel. So you just rhythmically chew on those rubber bulbs?
She: Right, they inflate and deflate air bladders in the bra where I usually have pads. Hey, don’t touch! I bought the model with hooter honkers, two different tones. Here give me a harmonious hug.
He: Wow, you are one romantic lady, and fine looking, too.
She: Ah thanks, Bumble Bear. Just wait’l next week when I’m also decked out in new cheeky, bounding-buns britches. I’ll be munchin’ mucho.
FarmerJohn, Jul 17 2003

Pump-up bra http://www.halfbake.../idea/Pump-up_20bra
similar stuff [FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Smart Breast http://www.halfbake...idea/Smart_20Breast
also inflatable [FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Elaine Vassal's Face Bra http://www.tvacres....thing_underwear.htm
... and other inventions from "Ally McBeal". First paragraph. (This show also featured remote control pump heels and a remote flush toilet.) [waugsqueke, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       What?? Bouncing boobs don't come standard on newer models?
vendetta, Jul 17 2003

       Not when standing still.
FarmerJohn, Jul 17 2003

       All the jiggle with only half the wiggle. You need a pressure relief valve so that accidental over-inflation won't knock someones eye out. After all, anything more than a mouthful is a waste.
LabRat, Jul 17 2003

       If you fill it with a vacuum, will you float away?
FloridaManatee, Jul 18 2003

       I'm not sure I believe the part where he has to be invited to "Look down lower."
beauxeault, Jul 18 2003

       [FarmerJohn], do you work for IKEA?
k_sra, Jul 18 2003

       Love the hooter honkers...
RayfordSteele, Jul 18 2003

       I think it would be more discreet if you put the pump bra between the legs instead. And it would give an added, um, kick to the jiggling.
DrCurry, Jul 18 2003

       [k_sra] No, SAS.
FarmerJohn, Jul 18 2003

       [Picturing FJ's prototype popping due to low cabin pressure.]
DrCurry, Jul 18 2003

       <remembers once-only-for-a-dare-when-very-drunk visit to Club Extreme in Stockholm, whimpers, pulls paper bag over head>
8th of 7, Jul 18 2003

       <Inscrutable Oriental Master> "You have much to learn, Grashopper ....." </Inscrutable Oriental Master>   

       This is the HalfBakery. Suspension of disbelief is mandatory.
8th of 7, Jul 18 2003

       //[k_sra] No, SAS.//   

       SAS - The Power to Know?
Scandinavian Airline System?
Society for Applied Spectroscopy?
Surfers Against Sewage?
k_sra, Jul 18 2003

       Elaine, the secretary character on "Ally McBeal" had an invention very similar to this called the "Vi-Bra". She would have been an interesting halfbaker, actually (link).
waugsqueke, Jul 18 2003

       [k_sra] The System ("marry me, fly free").
FarmerJohn, Jul 18 2003

       Scandinavian Airlines
bristolz, Jul 18 2003

       Could you put the air bladders on the feet leaving her mouth free for, say, something like...looking normal? Neato bra there.
sartep, Jul 20 2003

       //("marry me, fly free")//   

       I thought you were married!   

       (That's very honest of you, [shift].)
k_sra, Aug 05 2003

       Yes, for 24 years, but my imaginary alter ego, the lonesome tiller of the earth and thrill-seeking steward of beef and boilers, took control of my fingers.
FarmerJohn, Aug 05 2003

       Attractive dribble? That's inventive.
peterpeter, Aug 05 2003

       Model for blondes would have shoulder pad-mounted inflator bulbs actuated by side-to-side head motion necessary when speaking.
wombat, Aug 05 2003

       Didn't I see this on Are You Being Served?   

       Not to worry, they'll ride up with wear.
darksasami, Nov 18 2003


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