Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Brief Respite From Reality

When you really need to check out.
  [vote for,

Seems we all suffer stressual overload now and then, and previous attempts to provide a decent respite have encouraged venting and ranting instead of total relaxation. Short of stripping down and hopping into a sensory deprivation tank, which can be a bit awkward at meetings or in public places, there's not much you can do.

Now you can get a bit of a break from "it all" by strapping on the Brief Respite From Reality headgear. The lightweight light-proof goggles fade to black while noise cancelation head phones slowly eliminate all sound. As you drift off, external speakers begin repeating the phrase "please stand by, I will be with you in just a moment" for the benefit of bystanders. After 30 seconds, sound slowly slides back to normal, while the goggles gradually clear.

To avoid abuse, the headset locks up for 30 minutes after use. Please, parents of small children and air traffic controllers, secure your responsibilities before engaging headgear.

oxen crossing, Apr 02 2004


       Of course, wearing one of these in a meeting would be fine.
ps, 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' (except when not.)
angel, Apr 02 2004

       Umm, woops. Sticky kids make sticky keyboards. (At least I got it right later on).
oxen crossing, Apr 02 2004

       Please make sure to fade-from-black as well. Reality can be even more painful when you are reintroduced to it suddenly.
Worldgineer, Apr 02 2004

       OK, done.
oxen crossing, Apr 02 2004

       ok, but whose working on Brief Moments of Clarity?
theircompetitor, Apr 02 2004

       And who's working on making sure no one steals your wallet or smacks you on the head when you're under?
yabba do yabba dabba, Apr 02 2004

       I'll just stick to drinkin.
Mr Burns, Apr 02 2004

       [ydyd], yeah, lookout.
oxen crossing, Apr 02 2004




       I like it.
Detly, Apr 03 2004

       I gave this a + ....but mostly for the title. I had pictured a restaurant or club where trained actors served up a dose of non-reality for those bored with the every day grind.   

       "Thank you sir, would you like the bill now or should I post your stapler to Malaysia?"   

       "After you finish that drink, do you mind helping me with a top secret mission? The man in the corner wearing the blue jacket only hears every third word, and we need him to tell us the formula for rubber teflon."   

       "Starn swarp gloon. Nee treedle fon."   

       The floor could be on a mechanical system that could deliver a random jolt every now and then.   

       Lights would be timed to all change to a purple hue evey 30 minutes.   

       Chim snaff, fellow halfbakers.
not_only_but_also, Apr 05 2004

       Ha. I love it. Perhaps the two ideas could be combined? Might as well have entertaining virtual reality if you're going to go through the trouble of carrying around a helmet.
Worldgineer, Apr 05 2004

       Ah yes, [not only], much better. I don't know about trying to put it in the headset though; you could, but it wouldn't be as good as [noba]'s suggestion. (I'd like roving bands of actors to descend on their target at large, and create the non-reality as an improvisational reaction to the situation they find, without revealing their identity.)
oxen crossing, Apr 05 2004

       What if there was a fire or an armed robbery or any other catastrophic accident while you were wearing these?   

       You could get hurt!   

       Still, definite +
DesertFox, Jun 01 2004

       What if there was a fire or an armed robbery or any other catastrophe while you took a nap? Whatever that is, same with these.
oxen crossing, Jun 09 2004

       Is 30 seconds long enough?
Nycteris, Aug 23 2005

       Probably long enough to take a deep breath and reboot the brain.+
squeak, Aug 23 2005


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