Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Capitol Building Climbing Wall

climb'n fetch climbing wall
  (+12, -3)(+12, -3)
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Capitol Building Climbing Wall is a new type of climbing wall competition based on the recent invasion of the Capitol Building in Washington by Trump's supporting mob.

We recently witnessed numerous individuals scaling the walls and entering the building, eventually to retreat carrying various items of treasure.

This entire activity is now available as a competitive sport at your local well equipped gymnasium where wall climbing is facilitated.

It consists of a large replica of the exterior wall of the Washington Capitol Building. At diverse points there are windows and doors that can be entered, to access the small interior spaces. These spaces contain items of furniture and a variety of objects.

Climbers must not only ascend the wall, but break into these rooms and carry as many of the objects as they can back down the outside wall. In addition they must wear costumes of their own making that feature elaborate face paint, horns etc

The winner is the person who successfully retrieves the largest pile of goods from the highest floors, that are most difficult to access in the shortest amount of time. Extra points are awarded for makeup and costume design. Falling off, dropping, or breaking any of the retrieved items is penalised.

xenzag, Jan 10 2021

The Fold Of The House Of Escher The_20Fold_20Of_20T...House_20Of_20Escher
Prior Art [8th of 7, Jan 13 2021]

[link]






       [+]   

       Combine it with a firing range for extra realism.   

       A sort of real world combo of Tomb Raider and Grand Theft Auto. Any suggestions* for a catchy title ?   

       *Not a call-for-list as such.
8th of 7, Jan 10 2021
  

       For added realism, there should be an easily-climbed staircase next to the wall for the climbers to ignore for some bizarre reason.
prufrax, Jan 10 2021
  

       // bizarre // ?   

       Well ... we know this is pretty whacky and left-field and all that, but... could it possibly be that the climbers are what's known as "really quite stupid" ? There's a very Western-Front Douglas-Haig donkeys-led-by- donkeys air to the whole sorry charade...   

       No, forget it, it's far too implausible...
8th of 7, Jan 10 2021
  

       At the top of the easily climbed stairs is a professional martial artist so the competitors can choose to exhibit either climbing skill or martial prowess. For extra points climb the wall and then fight him anyway. Sneaking or arguing your way past him (for example by pretending to be a maintenance guy) is as good as beating him.
Voice, Jan 10 2021
  

       [xenzag], leave it to you to help us to laugh, at times when we feel like crying. Thank you.
blissmiss, Jan 11 2021
  

       I know it was a serious incident for many reasons but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I laughed myself off the sofa unto the floor when I was watching it live. I just kept sending text messages to my friends that said: "Turn on the news, the clowns have broke into the zoo, they're climbing the very walls."   

       I also have an idea for a crazy golf course based on Trump's time as president. There would be half built walls, lakes of bleach, fake holes, red palm trees, and much more besides. He's the perfect fountain of idiocy and chaos that never stops giving.
xenzag, Jan 11 2021
  

       I believe the politically correct term is "peaceful protesters". And I read a book called "Teaching to Transgress" that explained that breaking and entering is OK if someone says it's an act of political protest. Fortunately, it seems that the media all agree which events are "peaceful protest" and which aren't, otherwise it would be a bit confusing.   

       As long as we're talking crazy, there's speculation that Trump's last video (the one with the pink and blue striped tie, posted right before his recent and uncharacteristic social media silence) kind of looks like a deepfake. In some clips there's a seam where the head was pasted on. This is one of those times where it's not clear to me if I'm crazy or if everyone else is. We'll all find out soon enough.   

       //suggestions for a catchy title//
Cyberpunk 2021
sninctown, Jan 11 2021
  

       ... or how about "The Evening News" ... ?
8th of 7, Jan 11 2021
  

       //there's a seam where the head was pasted on//   

       Good observation, but how confident are we that such a seam does not exist on the President's 3D physical avatar?
pertinax, Jan 11 2021
  

       //I know it was a serious incident for many reasons//   

       I've been wondering about this. If there had been among the crowd a disciplined revolutionary cadre with some sort of plan, then they would have been very dangerous. As it was ... they came, they saw, they took selfies. Against their primary objective of preventing the confirmation of Joseph Robinette Biden, they scored zero points.   

       It reminds me not of a proper coup attempt, like Moscow 1991, but of a histrionic shambles like Paris 1968. At least two of the soixante-huitard slogans can be transferred unchanged to the MAGA-ists, namely, "Take your desires for reality" and "élections: piège à cons", which can be translated euphemistically as "elections are for suckers". And they, too, were trying to dislodge a duly- elected president.
pertinax, Jan 11 2021
  

       //As it was ... they came, they saw, they took selfies.// Whilst selfies did feature rather heavily, they also killed a policeman, hunted down members of congress equipped with zip-ties with what appears to have been a motivation to take hostages and looks like (some of them) came ready with bombs and heavy weaponry. If they'd found key members of congress, it might have been a very different end-game.   

       Certainly it was a mess, and there is some speculation that Trump intended to swell the mob's ranks with participating members of the armed forces or other loyal folks who in the end (he invites them to join on their march on congress in his incitement speech) failed to materialize. There is evidence that Trump signaled members of congress *whilst the mob was progressing* to extend their speeches in order to give the mob time to arrive prior to the intended vote, so between evidence of those communications and other clear signals of prior intent there appears to have been a degree of planning on Trump's part regards the action taken - it certainly wasn't a spontaneous outlet of joyful exuberance on the crowd's part - though it may have sensibly been stage managed that way to give it a veneer of deniability or at best ambiguity. But make no mistake, it was a deliberate, planned action. Hopefully more will out during the investigation, Trump's not been that great at covering his tracks on his other crimes to date, and has relied heavily on his political position and helmsmanship/blackmailling of the Republican party to avoid sanction but this can't last much longer after his tenure ends.   

       In terms of effectiveness, as an organised coup, it definitely was a colossal failure - but if I had been a member of congress I'd be in no doubt that the mob was not out on a jolly - they would certainly have taken more lives if they weren't such a hopeless collection of deranged and the easily led. But I'd not allow their ineffectiveness to let them off- a shit terrorist is still a terrorist.
zen_tom, Jan 11 2021
  

       For me, it's the chickens coming home to roost. Many members of the invaded house expressed and continue to express enthusiastic support for terrorists where I live, who carried out far worse, but for the same reasons ie to use violence to usurp democracy.
xenzag, Jan 11 2021
  

       Due to Covid travel restrictions the annual coup attempt had to be held at home.
Voice, Jan 11 2021
  

       Ha.... Coup in the coop.
xenzag, Jan 11 2021
  

       You get coos in a dovecote, shirley ?   

       <Pulls Great Big Lever to release avalanche of bird puns/>   

       // break into these rooms and carry as many of the objects as they can back down the outside wall. //   

       Question: are they allowed to steal the election ?   

       Asking for a friend...
8th of 7, Jan 11 2021
  

       //a shit terrorist is still a terrorist //   

       Indeed. And a "peaceful protest" it certainly was not. I can't understand why there wasn't more gunfire. Even a hail of rubber bullets would have been an improvement.
whatrock, Jan 11 2021
  

       //You get coos in a dovecote, shirley//
Never going to send you to post a letter: you get doos in a doocot, and coos in the field.
calum, Jan 11 2021
  

       Apocryphal sign in countryside: "TRESPASSERS ADMITTED FREE - BULL WILL CHARGE LATER".
8th of 7, Jan 11 2021
  

       "I can't understand why there wasn't more gunfire."
—whatrock, Jan 11 2021
  

       Because the terrorists were white, and apart from a shaman and a few wanna-be commandos, they were mostly dressed in jeans and plaid flannel shirts. The cops hardly ever shoot someone who looks like their fishing buddy or Klan brother.
kdf, Jan 11 2021
  

       <Sniff/>   

       <Sniff sniff sniff/>   

       <Whirr of mass spectrometer sampling pump/>   

       Ah yes .... it's very small, but it's there ... the tiniest trace of irony and cynicism in that last annotation, only just visible above the baseline noise ...   

       Indicative, but not enough for a conviction.
8th of 7, Jan 11 2021
  

       You missed my trace of hyperbole. While not ALL military and police fit that profile, there's a degree of racism there.   

       I'd charitably say it's a small percentage when you look at individuals. But it's historically built into the organizations, so even the purest of heart get tripped up by following their basic training.
kdf, Jan 11 2021
  

       // You missed my trace of hyperbole. //   

       It's only MS, not GCMS, and it's pretty much at the detection limit anyway.   

       // While not ALL military and police fit that profile // ... there is an unavoidable tendency to self-select. There are different personality types that naturally gravitate toward certain occupations; it's hard to envisage a teenage Liberace eagerly checking the mailbox for the latest copy of "Guns and Ammo", or George S. Patton hoarding back issues of "Nursing Monthly".   

       // it's historically built into the organizations //   

       For the organizations to function as specified, they need a certain type of individual to man them, and then those people gain seniority and recruit people like themselves to sustain the organization. That's why it's almost impossible to change the innate "culture". It doesn't just apply to law enforcement, it happens in many fields.   

       //the purest of heart //   

       ... went off searching for the Holy Grail centuries ago, and haven't been seen since.   

       Comparing the "knightly ideal" of chivalry with the bloody, brutal hacking and slaughter of Agincourt, Towton, the Crusades (Including the Albigensian one, and the sack of Constantinople by Christians) and Bosworth Field, there isn't a lot of meaningful overlap.
8th of 7, Jan 11 2021
  

       Well... I've spent most of my adult working life with the military - some of it on active duty, some of it as a civilian contractor. It's possible to be a good soldier and not a racist (or other kinds of fiends). And being a decent human being is not a detriment to promotion. But I won't deny the thread is there institutionally. Times change, but slowly.   

       My favorite conspiracy theory - which I might write up as a half-baked movie idea - is that the last four years have intentionally been designed to force racism into the foreground, to flush out all the good ol' boys playing militia in the woods and put them on display so everyone else could no longer deny it - and be disgusted and finally do something about it. There's been a lot of collateral damage, but it was unavoidable. War is hell.   

       That movie will never get made, it's too crazy.
kdf, Jan 11 2021
  

       Enjoy a toasty, warm second loaf [+]
21 Quest, Jan 13 2021
  

       Extra points for adding a Möbius Strip staircase. Then when people start falling off a recording shouts "THEY'RE TRYING TO KEEP US OUT! CHARGE!"
AusCan531, Jan 13 2021
  

       Maybe they should have M. C. Escher to do a revamp of the access routes ?   

       Then when the mob charge in at the main doors, they suddenly find themselves falling upwards out of a second-floor window and ending up on the roof, from where the only exit is the underside of a staircase that leads to an archway in the basement...
8th of 7, Jan 13 2021
  

       The perfect home-security system.
zen_tom, Jan 13 2021
  

       <link>
8th of 7, Jan 13 2021
  

       No matter what structure you build to keep the folks inside safe...Doesn't matter what shape, or style, just pour olive oil all over it and watch em slip down to the ground. Hahaha. Waste of good oil, but well worth the show. (idea+++++).
blissmiss, Jan 15 2021
  

       It's not a waste of oil if afterwards you lightly fry them in breadcrumbs. (for the seagulls)
xenzag, Jan 15 2021
  

       You don't have to use fresh oil; it can be pre-owned cooking oil.   

       Or it can be animal fat, processed to reduce the viscosity.   

       But as the Capitol is full of politicians, there are limitless supplies of slime available, shirley ?
8th of 7, Jan 15 2021
  

       I don't understand connection with last link and the idea for a new type of climbing wall, that's based on an actual event? Explain please.
xenzag, Jan 16 2021
  

       The capitol building climbing wall idea is based on real life events, some of the people involved being inspired by the "Q" movement although the whole thing seems detached from reality at first glance. To connect the link to this idea, perhaps the arena could include several climbing walls and several clocks set differently, although only one wall scores points and one clock is used for timekeeping. Part of the game would be trying to trick other contestants into watching the wrong clock and climbing up the wrong walls. And one match a season would be won by whichever team had the lowest score.
sninctown, Jan 16 2021
  

       I still see no relevance to the link. Please get rid of it from my idea. Feed it to the seagulls which are great at getting rid of all kinds of rubbish.
xenzag, Jan 16 2021
  

       Suit yourself. Removed. To clarify, that link illustrated the idea that newsworthy real-world events similar to the Capitol storming event often contain controlled-opposition elements and/or disinformation. This game idea, as described, lacks controlled-opposition elements, so on further reflection it gets a [-] from me for lack of nuance and realism. I hope you are right about what is going on.
sninctown, Jan 17 2021
  
      
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