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Church of 4

Grind religion, pour on mathematics
  (+4, -3)
(+4, -3)
  [vote for,

This is a new 'religion' which contemplates the majesty of the number 4. One can go 4 weeks without food, 4 days without water, and 4 minutes without air. Our language is entirely divisible by the number 4. Our beloved Earth is 4 billion years old.

4-based punishments for the 4 degrees of each of 4 basic laws (no lying, stealing, raping, or killing) would be 4x as effective as existing penalties. Such punishments would include things like 4 minutes of oxygen deprivation, or 4 hours in a 4° freezer. 4 hours in front of a mirror to reflect on what you've done. 4 days of water deprivation. Things like that.

To ensure the stability of marriage, we mandate a 4 year engagement followed by a 4-hour wedding and a 4 day honeymoon.

You get the point.

21 Quest, Mar 24 2015

Church of Euthanasia http://www.churchof...ess/planet_ivy.html
The four pillars [JesusHChrist, Mar 24 2015]

'The Illuminatus Trilogy' by Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson https://en.wikipedi...lluminatus!_Trilogy
Wherein are discourses on the 'Law of Fives' & the significance of number 23. [DrBob, Mar 26 2015]

Hoffman Quadrinity Process http://rationalwiki..._Quadrinity_Process
[JesusHChrist, Mar 27 2015]

The infamous Timecube http://www.timecube.com/
You have not the mentality to comprehend the simple math of Cubic antipode creation, for at about age 6, your parents gave your 2 opposite antipode brains to Big Brother academic hirelings, to clone thought to serve evil singularity brotherhood - destroying Cubic families, villages and tribes. [Voice, Mar 28 2015]


       The most sacred part of a man's body is the fourskin. Cutting it off is punishable by 4 whacks from each of four 4 year olds with a wiffle ball bat. You can guess where.
21 Quest, Mar 24 2015

       Out of respect for the lnine, grnine and unfivegettable Victor Borge, I would like to stnine that this idea is three ridiculous for words, and completely unelevenable.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 24 2015

       What about foreplay? Is that allowed?
xenzag, Mar 24 2015

       Heartily endorsed. There are, in fact, 4 sex positions explicitly endorsed by our church, and it is recommended to do them each every 4 days.
21 Quest, Mar 24 2015

       Suicide, abortion, cannibalism and sodomy: The four pillars of the Church of Euthanasia (Link).
JesusHChrist, Mar 24 2015

       Go fourth and multiply.   

       I don't get the point.   

       Now e, tau or perhaps pi if tau isn't agreed to be demonstratably superior in every way, I could see that. But then again, presuming the holey-ness of irrational numbers might be called circular reasoning by atauists / a-pi-ists.   

       Piety is, of course, virtuous.
RayfordSteele, Mar 25 2015

       A Scottish interjection "Fore" is used for golfing...that's religion to some people.
xandram, Mar 25 2015

       Rayford, our entire language has a root of 4. Take any word, any word at all, and it breaks down to the number 4. Here's what I mean:   

       Take, for instance, your name, 'rayfordsteele'. Your name consists of thirteen letters. 'Thirteen' consists of eight letters. 'Eight' consists of five letters. 'Five' consists of four letters. 'Four' consists of 4, and you can't get smaller than that. That same breakdown applied to any word in our language yields the same final result: 4.   

       4 is not magical in any way. Simple observation simply shows that it is the best , simply unfalsifiable answer to so many questions one may have in life. What is the best amount of water to drink per day? 4 quarts. What is the best amount of meals per day? 4 meals. I could go on, and on, and on. Tau and Pi are not the answer to these questions, my friend. The answer is 4.   

       Ask not the silly question of 'why?'. Ask, instead, 'what four?'
21 Quest, Mar 25 2015

       //4-hour wedding//
What, ceremony? Or soup to nuts? Clarification is required.
calum, Mar 25 2015

       May the fours be with you.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 25 2015

       It really is one of the most afourdable religions out there.   

       For the 4th time, Calum....
21 Quest, Mar 25 2015

       //It really is one of the most afourdable religions out there.//   

       Stop trying to ingrnineinine yourself, [3 fries].
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 26 2015

       You guys can all go and four yourselves. There.
blissmiss, Mar 26 2015

       Pride goes befour the fall, Max.
21 Quest, Mar 26 2015

       If I don't ingrnineinine myself... who will?   

       Four shame, 2 Fries.
21 Quest, Mar 27 2015

       An unfourtunate opportunity four far three many unfunny bits of wordplay. One can scarcely start two talk without them pouring out like lies from a politician.
Voice, Mar 27 2015

       No but really weddings lasting only four hours? If it's a wedding ceremony lasting four hours, then that's one thing - maybe there is something in this, likes, a good long meditative ceremony, chanting, dervishing and ululation perhaps, whatever works - but if you're actually expecting guests to pitch up in their full Bonnie Prince Charlie and / or summer dress, having already schlepped off to John Lewis for the vouchers, all for less than four hours of getting steamboats then I don't think I can subscribe to your newsletter.
calum, Mar 27 2015

       //Tau and Pi are not the answer to these questions, my friend. The answer is 4.   

       Actually, brother, when you use the holy number system, counting by PI/4, then PI works out to be 4 in less holy number systems.
the porpoise, Mar 27 2015

       In the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit, and of Manny the Barber from Long Beach...
JesusHChrist, Mar 27 2015

       //chanting, dervishing and ululation//   

       Is that code for "orgy"?   


       -_- it was a joke.
Voice, Mar 27 2015


       Match a), b), and c) with 1), 2), and 3)   

       a) ululate b) dervishing c) chanting   

       1) to cry loudly 2) to say a word many times in a rhythmic way 3) member of a religious group known for it's spinning dance   

       I think your orgies are different than mine - not knocking it, it sounds like fun, but...
normzone, Mar 27 2015

       Four--not a comfortable number at all. It is "square", of course and it has the disadvantage of three possible outcoems, "For", "A tie" and "Against" when four people are trying to make a decision as a group. 4 is an awkward number. In the vision of Ezekiel, in the bible, the vehicle he describes has four wings, four wheels, four faces (a lion, an eagle, a man and an ox). the most of 4 things described in the whole book! also, everyone knows any group of four will quickly divide into two teams, against each other...the number of any groups should be odd...This way, one group awlays outnumbers the other and thus questions of disagreements are quickly settled. I think, if there was to be a religion based on a number it would have to be the number 11. That makes the most sense - Ah, 11...how refreshing. And, it is mild.
Altoidian, Mar 28 2015

       When a group cannot reach a consensus, everyone knows it is best to settle it by a game of rock, paper, scissors, and the victory goes to whoever gets the best 3 out of 4. So you see, your argument against the infallible Four eats itself.
21 Quest, Mar 28 2015

       yeah but no, rock paper scissors is not congruent with the basic principle of the Church of 4, as the competing elements number three. Applying a majoritarian decision-making structure to a body with four members will create - as pointed out above - either deadlock, consensus or two groups (neither of which will number four), thus the Church of 4 contains within its very structure the seeds of its own destruction, an inherent heresy.
calum, Mar 28 2015

       A democracy is powerful not because all members act as one, but because of the individuality of each member thinking freely and reaching a logical conclusion that happens to be shared by other individuals. A consensus does not make 4 into one. The simplest of mathematics will tell you that 1 is always divisible into 4 quarters, each of which is divisible into 4 smaller members and so on ad infinitum.   

       The Chinese, brilliant mathematicians that they are, evem discovered that the perfect family size is 4 (two parents +two children).
21 Quest, Mar 28 2015

       If that's so, how come there's so many of them?
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 28 2015

       Ask not the silly question of 'how come?'. Ask instead 'What Four?'
21 Quest, Mar 28 2015

       ...and the Angle spake unto them saying "The way is not straight, so be thee neither obtuse nor acute, for the Angles are always right."
Hypotenusallelujah! Praise Quad Alrighty.


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