Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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it's about bears
  [vote for,

This movie would echo the Jaws theme but would be set in a small town and be about killer bear attacks.
Voice, Oct 28 2013

The webcomic is already out... http://bearmageddon.com/
[normzone, Oct 28 2013]

So is the movie... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079758/
Environmental message included. [Alterother, Oct 28 2013]

Night of the Grizzly (1966) http://www.imdb.com...54/?ref_=ttpl_pl_tt
[AusCan531, Oct 29 2013]


       How about "Haws", where psychopathic hookers decide to take their revenge on the town's menfolk?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 28 2013

       You're gonna need a bigger ATV.
the porpoise, Oct 28 2013

       It would be marginally more credible if Polar Bears were involved, as they will kill and eat humans.   

       However, compared to a submerged shark, bears are fairly easy to spot, and can be incapacitated with a large calibre sidearm. So there has to be some plot twist to even the odds for the bear.
8th of 7, Oct 28 2013

       [8th] If they could get away with sharks deliberately attacking people for jaws, they could get away with bears for this. Heck, given the case of the Tsavo man eaters, it's not evenly completely impossible. If a particular bear started thinking of humans as food, it could happen.   

       You could even give it an environmental message by making it that the bears are trying to find a new source of food because a dam destroyed their regular salmon run, or some such.
MechE, Oct 28 2013

       Oso otaku attack! Revenge of the nerds turned on it's head.   

       Most bear attacks are mistakes on the bears or victims part.   

       When guns are outlawed, only bears and outlaws will have guns. Keep your loved ones close and your reloading machines closer (and away from bears.)   

       I once was bitten by a bear in my pajamas. What he...
popbottle, Oct 28 2013

       //However, compared to a submerged shark, bears are fairly easy to spot, and can be incapacitated with a large calibre sidearm. So there has to be some plot twist to even the odds for the bear.//   

       So give the bears gills.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 28 2013

       Hmmm. The thing about Jaws was the innate fear of being vulnerable to unseen attackers when swimming.   

       What we need, therefore, are mole-bear hybrids which can fall on you upwards from underground.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 28 2013

       Have you seen "Night of the Lepus", [MB] ? It's a B-movie where giant rabbits attack a small town. Not only is it blatantly obvious that the set for the denoument is a couple of tame and rather bewildered pet rabbits plonked into someone's model train layout, but at one point a stick can be seen poking one of the rabbits to make it move.   

       It didn't exactly inspire terror.   

       We don't thing mole-bear hybrids are going to fare any better.
8th of 7, Oct 28 2013

       You say that now. Just let Dreamworks and Steven Spielberg loose on it.   

       Let's see. Global warming has led to a change in bears' patterns of hibernation, forcing them to remain in their dens for longer. This in turn leads to them starting to dig sideways for roots and tubers and, in the twinkling of an evolutionary eye, you have killer mole-bears grabbing children and dragging them beneath the school playing field.   

       The bears are ultimately hunted down by old- timer Troy Hurtubise in his famous bear-proof jacket. His demise at the paws of an unexpectedly large mole-bear is foretold in the comment "you're gonna need a bigger coat."
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 28 2013

       How about a particularly evil remake of "Bad Santa", this time titled "Claus"?
jurist, Oct 29 2013

       //innate fear of being vulnerable to unseen attackers //   

       The scariest movie I ever saw as a kid was "Night of the Grizzly" [link]. The most frightening bits were when they filmed from the point of view of the bear. The POV pushed through the forest at night to look down at the little log cabin, lights burning happily while the horses and cattle in the corral stirred uneasily as they sensed that evil had come to their little valley.   

       The oblivious people went on conducting their normal activities not knowing that back in the hidden woods they were being watched with malevolent intent. Don't think that image didn't come to my mind whenever I was out at night in the Canadian wilderness.   

       It starred Clint Walker and a bear named Satan.
AusCan531, Oct 29 2013

       // evil had come to their little valley ... malevolent intent. //   

       "evil" and "malevolence" are human concepts. Animals below the higher primates (except for Geography teachers) aren't "evil", as that implies sentience and free will. Sharks eat things because they are hungry and that's what sharks do. It's all they CAN do. There's no vegetarian option if you're a shark. Tigers that escape from zoos and kill humans are just doing what comes naturally and cannot be blamed for their actions; if humans place them in an unnatural environment, they deserve whatever they get.   

       If humans intrude into an ecosystem containing bears or wolves, they should not be surprised if these large, sharp-toothed carnivores look on small, slow monkeys with no claws and small, blunt teeth as an attractive lunch.   

       So, while giant man-eating rabbits/bears/ sharks/squid/toads make a good screenplay, it's a grave mistake to carry over that mindset into the real world (if such a thing exists).
8th of 7, Oct 29 2013

       //"evil" and "malevolence" are human concepts//   

       Yeesss, but this was a movie in the 60s - not a doco. The bear was portrayed in a certain way for cinematic effect to scare the crap outta viewers - which it did.
AusCan531, Oct 29 2013

       How about "Schnoz", where malicious cold sufferers pursue healthy victims in attempt to sneeze on them?
swimswim, Oct 29 2013

       How about "Bones" where a forensic anthropologist and a cocky FBI agent team up to down vote ideas on the Halfbakery?
AusCan531, Oct 29 2013


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