Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Coconut Milk Vending Machine

drill coconuts and pour out the milk
  [vote for,

Coconut Milk Vending Machine, delivers a cup of delicious coconut milk on deposit of a suitable amount of money.

Here's how it works: when you drop in your money, a coconut tumbles out of the chilled storage hopper and is gripped firmly in place, ready to receive the first of the two holes that are drilled through its outer shell. (one hole for the milk to come out, and one to admit the replacement air)

A degree of agitation ensures that all of the watery contents are dribbled out. The milk is delivered to a pre-positioned container via a suitable filter, removing any particles of coconut shell. The container is weighed, and if underweight, another coconut replaces the first one, and the process is repeated to bring up the measure.

Customers can also choose to receive the drained coconut, otherwise it is returned to storage for subsequent processing. Once the container is filled, a hatch opens allowing the customer to retrieve their luscious chilled coconut milk drink.

Something to look forward to when summer brings a lovely day and the dreaded virus is in retreat. (Bill Withers RIP)

xenzag, Apr 03 2020

The Whizzo Chocolate Company http://www.montypyt...scripts/crunchy.php
A unique offering [8th of 7, Apr 04 2020]

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       Isn't that coconut water?
pocmloc, Apr 03 2020

       It's called coconut milk.
xenzag, Apr 03 2020

       He's right, you know.   

       <^Stares in puzzlement at previous line/>   

       <Initiates extensive diagnostic on Universe in case of Major Reality Failure/>
8th of 7, Apr 03 2020

       I'm nutty for everything coconut. Everything.
blissmiss, Apr 03 2020

       What a delicious idea. Pity this wasn't developed 8 years ago. [+]
whatrock, Apr 04 2020

       //He's right, you know.// He may be, but where I come from coconuts were never seen until around halloween and were a rare and exotic treat. To break them open involved using a very basic corkscrew to penetrate two of the holes, then the contents were poured into a glass from which we each got about a table spoonfull each. This was always called the milk. The shell was then bashed open with a hammer. The first time I tasted commercial coconut milk, I was expecting this clear liquid and not the white fluid that greeted me.
xenzag, Apr 04 2020

       Everyone else is not responsible for the paucity of your life experience. Get over it.
8th of 7, Apr 04 2020

       You are. Waits in long grass for a time and place of my choosing.
xenzag, Apr 04 2020

       "Whizzo Quality Assortment" ?   

8th of 7, Apr 04 2020

       Coconut-launching compressed air mortar ...
8th of 7, Apr 04 2020

       Yes, but significantly lower potential lethality. A full-size coconut impacting the sternum has the potential to cause a cardiac arrest; a head shot could potentially cause a skull fracture.   

       Even an abdominal hit could rupture the spleen or liver.
8th of 7, Apr 04 2020

       But killing your customer's target is very good for repeat business, if you make and sell weapons systems.
8th of 7, Apr 04 2020

       Excellent [+]
21 Quest, Apr 04 2020

       // “How would you like a nice Hawaiian Punch?”// Totally busted, agewise.
FlyingToaster, Apr 04 2020


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