Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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A few slices short of a loaf.

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Country manager

Step aside and let the pros do it.
  [vote for,

The designated BUNGCO weeper weeps at news of government incompetence, bungling, corruption and the like. Over and over again. Where people have no choice it makes sense that whomever has the skillset to seize power might or might not also have the skillset to run things. But in democracies, people routinely choose folks who have no ability to run a political entity - be it city, state, or country. Amateurs.

BUNGCO country managers can help. We select a local who runs for office as the pointman for the BUNCGO Country Management operation. If elected, it means you want us to run things. You should: we are good at it. We are incorruptible, diligent, efficient and have a tested playbook relevant to all situations big and small. We are not British but emulate them whenever possible. We will charge, of course: an amount stated up front adequate to cover the salaries of our employees.

Does it hurt local pride to have foreigners / infidels / smartypantses / trained animals (only a couple, and good ones) saunter in and run things for you? Then feel free to make your half-assed lumpy bed and lie in it. But if you know your place has potential and you are sick of having your homegrowns screw it up, have us in to take over. Smooth government is like grease on the gears, leaving you to concentrate your energies on doing what you do best.

bungston, Aug 12 2016


       // We are not British but emulate them whenever possible. //   

       Magnificent. We have a list of small, peaceful, inoffensive countries in a moderate state of social, political and industrial development that are rich in natural resources and can quickly provide a large, exploitable workforce (usually at bayonet-point).   

       Historically, such exploitation has been operated at arm's length by chartering a commercial company to run the concession as a business (Hudson's Bay company, East India company, De Beers, etc.). Presumably the IPO is imminent for your exciting new venture ?
8th of 7, Aug 12 2016

       Of course, the compensation for the contract with BUNGCO is spread out over a long period of time, with most of it coming on the back end, in order to protect against short term "Looks great!" actions that draw off the entity's resources in the long run.
normzone, Aug 12 2016

       //We are not British but emulate them whenever possible.// Like [8th], I salute you. There can be no finer objective amongst the members of the less blessed nations than to aspire to Britishness.   

       Incidentally, I assume that when you use the word "British", you are using it in the generally accepted sense of "English"?
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 12 2016

       Umm, always thought all of those "conmercial companies" in Empire times just resembled the world's most persistent and drawn out drive-by shooting....
not_morrison_rm, Aug 13 2016

       Certainly not. In a drive-by shooting, the recipient is usually also armed, and ready and willing to retaliate.   

       That's not the sort of risk you want to be running.
8th of 7, Aug 13 2016


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