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Pedestrian lanes are not a completely new idea, but in
case of Crisp Lanes there is one main distinguishing
feature: the only people who are permitted to use these
lanes are those who are eating from a packet of crisps.
This ensures while they stride forward, they can be
in their two way lane, they won't
encounter anyone else who's not eating from a bag of
crisps. We know there are few things worse than
into someone while eating crisps. It simply can't happen
the Crisp Lane.
Special undercover crisp agents police the lanes and are
quick to drag away any non-crisp eating violators.
lane observation cameras add to the vigilance.
In bigger cities several other lanes run parallel to the
Lane, such as the Bible Lane for those carrying a Bible.
other places this would be the lane of their particular
dominant religion of choice.
New specialised lanes are being added all the time, such
"The Cream Lane", where only those porting under one
a copy of the "Disraeli Gears" or "Wheels On Fire" albums
may travel. I can envisage myself in this particular lane.
Tayto Cheese and Onion
of course people who care don't buy anything from Amazon [xenzag, Aug 30 2021]
[Frankx, Sep 02 2021]
||[+] And a lane for the blind, and for people staring
at their cellphone screens. The walk/dont walk
signs would have to provide audible
announcements for both.
||Crossing signals in many cities DO
talk. First place I noticed those was in
Portland Oregon. Ever since, Ive wanted to have
a recording (Walk sign is on to cross Hawthorne
Boulevard) and play it to trick the unwary, getting
them to step into oncoming traffic.
||When I talk about doing that to blind people, folks
tell me its a sick joke. When I suggest spoofing
someone staring at their phone though, they think
They beep & sometimes vibrate here. When they are "inactive",
they beep (quieter than when active) sequentially "around" the
//..sick joke... hilarious.//
It's about choice (or lack there-of). People don't choose to be
blind, but they do choose to attempt to walk while staring at
||Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when
you fall into an open sewer and die.
||+ id like to be in the Cream lane also.
||The Ultra lane is for Cream album carriers who
also eat Tayto Cheese and Onion crisps and believe
that Neptune is a fake planet made from egg
boxes. I'm in this lane. All welcome to join me.
||Good God [xen] you don't buy that Southern Tayto shite do you?
||Yes but there are limits.
||I never eat the heals. The birds like them too
||[a1] //audible announcements//
||Blade Runner, 2019 Los Angeles