Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Customized Voting With Guaranteed Cash Payout

"Voting for this candidate will: RAISE your annual cash available by $3,500"
  [vote for,

"Voting for this other candidate will: LOWER your annual cash available by $7,500"

Welcome to the "Gimme Da Money!" voting system. You've input your financials and based on what you've told us, voting for candidate "A" and all the policies he is supporting will raise your annual available cash assets by $3,500. This may include, but not be limited to: increased welfare checks, lowered gas prices, lowered taxes, lower food prices, increased social security checks etc. The "Gimme Da Money!" voting system knows what you really want in a democracy: MO MONEY! and we're here to help you get it.

Aaand scene.

I'm sick of candidates vaguely implying they're gonna make us all rich because it's soooo simple only an idiot devil like his opponent would not see how great these policies are. Put it in writing. If any political party delivers lower than their promised increase by more than 20%, they party is shut down forever and all members are banned for life from practicing politics.

Oh yea, and write it into the rule book that if you take out any loans to do this great stuff you get thrown into a volcano.

doctorremulac3, Feb 14 2016




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