Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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It might be better to just get another gerbil.

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Ding Dong Protector

Turn off your doorbell
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A switch by the door, like a light switch, that can used to turn off your door bell. It would be nice for people that just want to be left alone but of course people can still knock. I thought of it more for people that have a newborn in the house that they dont want to wake up.
Protector of Mankind, Jan 07 2002

Ding Dong Letter http://www.bigwaste...ley/dingdongs.shtml
IMHO Ho-Ho's RULE - Ding Dongs are 2nd [thumbwax, Jan 08 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

King Ding Dong http://www.twinkies.com/whoisking.asp
King Ding Dong loves to play around. Nothing tickles his funny bone like a great practical joke. His usual target? The jester who will do anything for a Ding Dong. [thumbwax, Jan 08 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

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       Easy enough to bake, and I actually intend to do so in my next house. We finally had to duct tape the doorbell to muffle it because nobody was apparently capable of hitting the button once and letting it go. Everyone invariably hits it a million times until I've been awakened, gotten dressed and go out and punch them in the head.
StarChaser, Jan 07 2002
  

       hehehehe "...get a doorman..."
phoenix, Jan 07 2002
  

       "Do Not Disturb - Daytime Sleeper"
thumbwax, Jan 08 2002
  

       "Doorbell broken -- pull sword from large stone at porchside and pound with hilt on door.   

       Oh, and give me time to gird my loins."
reensure, Jan 08 2002
  

       Ahh, but if unwanted visitors cannot find a doorbell they will simply pound on the door. What is wanted is a three stage switch; On mode, Off mode and PISS OFF mode. The last will inform the visitor "I regret to inform you that this doorbell has been placed in PISS OFF mode. Kindly do so."
Alcin, Jan 08 2002
  

       I've baked that one I believe. We are high up and downstairs I have two doorbells. General purpose button down at the front for large mailing bags, religious salespeople, locked-out neighbours; concealed bellpush for family (rarely answered unless prearranged); one on the flat front door, permanently switched off. The system's served us well and we're not moving because of it.
Timon of Bath, Mar 10 2002
  
      
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